<p>I’m so sorry you’re going through this 3bysmom.</p>
<p>If your son’s school could help him find a rolling admission, easy application school that he likes and might be a likely admission, I agree with others that this would take the pressure off. Then he’d have an option to use or talk about (or not) as the situation warrants. For other reasons, those are the ONLY type of schools my boys applied to; as it happened my husband was diagnosed with cancer in S1’s senior year, and it was very helpful to have the college piece already settled when everything else was so uncertain. </p>
<p>Just noticed this thread and want to add my sympathy and support for your situation. I know your son is in a great supportive environment at his hs. My thoughts are with you.</p>
<p>My mother died in September of my younger sister’s senior year of high school, the beginning of my junior year of college.</p>
<p>My heart aches for you and your family. Just remember that all this can wait. As much as we all obsess (and we do)…it’s really not that important, and your son will have good choices now and later.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry he is going through this. If working on applications keeps him distracted that’s a good thing for him to do. He doesn’t have to make decisions about gap years now, but should be aware that most schools will let a student defer if they want to. I had a high school friend who had a very traumatic senior year spring that spilled over into her freshman year. She would have had a better experience if she had taken a year off and started college when she was less fragile, but of course hindsight is 20/20, and many students will do better with the structure of college.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry you are going through this. My brother was ill for several years before passing away at home during one of his son’s senior years. He had four boys, 16-23.</p>
<pre><code>The senior son postponed college and joined the Navy right after his father’s death. His ship was the Abraham Lincoln- the first Navy ship in Iraq at the beginning of the war. He’s still in the Navy- became a Seal and then an instructor, and never went to college after all- but he has a good family, is stateside, and doing well. The other boys all took different paths- two of the four have college degrees, but all have jobs and three have kids of their own. Their father is remembered and talked about often. As sad as losing their dad was, I think they are all very glad they had him around as long as they did. He was a wonderful father, and a great role model for their own parenting.
I wish you and your son the best, but know that your husband will be remembered and loved, even when he is gone.
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