I am very empathetic about your situation. You’ve already received great advice from other posters, so I wont repeat what they’ve mentioned. Instead I am going to give you a list of schools for you to consider as you try to find the best fit (including financial) to give your son some options to research once he is ready to get started on that process. (Also, some of these schools should be pretty convenient for you to visit as an initial college visit to try and get him interested in the process.)
Also, I disagree with some previous commenters who have said that certain colleges are “beneath” your son. Your son is obviously very strong academically and there are colleges who would be very excited to have him and show you the money to prove it. Academia is a very competitive field so you have professors with PhDs from top programs teaching at a wide array of colleges; they’re not all hanging out at the Top X colleges from USNWR. And if your son is one of the top students at one of those universities, that means that there will generally be other perks like lots of special opportunities and attention, and those are the things that can matter a lot after graduation.
These are all residential campuses where your odds are good to great at getting the price below your in-state publics, and many by a considerable margin. I think that @ColdWombat had a great idea in thinking about actuarial science. That’s not to say that it will become your son’s major, but it definitely hits a lot of his interests and is a way to narrow the search down when there is so much that he doesn’t have strong feelings about. Thus, all the schools listed below either have been designated as Advanced Curriculum (AC) or Centers of Actuarial Excellence (CAE) by the actuarial association.
Smaller Schools
Arcadia (PA ) – AC
Lebanon Valley (PA ) – AC
Otterbein (OH) – AC
Robert Morris (PA ) – CAE
U. of Evansville (IN) – AC: your son would qualify for at least $30k/year in merit aid and could very easily get more.
Medium Schools
Drake (IA) – CAE
Missouri Science & Tech – AC
U. of St. Thomas (MN) – CAE
Larger Schools
Binghamton (NY) – AC
Central Michigan – AC: No out-of-state surcharge here, so sticker price for tuition, room & board is less than $25k. Your son would qualify for additional merit aid and be competitive for a full ride.
Florida State – AC: Your son may be able to receive an OOS waiver, bringing costs to about $17k for tuition, room & board. If he doesn’t get the waiver, it’s closer to $30k, still less than Penn State as an in-state student.
Northern Illinois – AC: There is no difference in price between in-state and out-of-state tuition, so sticker price here is $23k. Your son should qualify for merit aid as well and would probably be competitive for one of the full rides, too.
Towson (MD) – CAE: Sticker price is higher than Pennsylvania in-states, but I suspect that your son would receive sufficient merit to make it worth exploring, including its Honors College options.
U. of Alabama – AC
U. of Iowa – CAE
U. of Missouri – AC
U. of Nebraska – Lincoln – CAE
West Virginia – AC
As others have said, looking at (and throwing apps at) Penn State, U. Pitt, and Temple would probably be a good idea. And make sure you run the Net Price Calculator on these. If they ask for his academic stats, then the minimum level of merit aid he can expect is included as well.
College isn’t for everyone, even good students. It might be for your kid, and it might not. This is something our nation needs to come to grips with. There are several options that could be considered including: full time “regular” college, CC while working, military, trade school, find a job in something of interest, find a job in anything, find a job in anything while pursuing an interest. For most of us on htis forum, the safe path is regular college but way too many kids do that without the necessary interest. Essentially they do it because they’ve been told they should.
Maybe some soul searching time here for both student and parent. Trajectory is an issue and important. Perhaps those that seem to be unmotivated need to be able to understand the trajectory of their decisions.
From personal, anecdotal experience (kids and nieces / nephews), some were best served by going the regular college route. Others would have been better off to have worked a few years and seek degree / certification in area interest. One might have been better off / or just as prepared with specific industry training. College has provided a structure for her training but the right, organized, disciplined person could easily duplicate the program.
@rickle1 I agree with this. When I told my apparently apathetic son in senior year that he could work instead, I meant it. One of mine did work instead and then entered a part-time degree completion program later, when interests had gelled. Community colleges have shorter programs for vocational paths, including AA and certificates. I took my non-college kid to North Bennett Street School to look at non-academic possibilities: cabinet and jewelry-making, others.
However, it is also true, as you imply, that “regular” 4 year residential college (or while living t home) may be the best course for the OP’s son. This thread shows that several of us had kids (seems like mostly males) had their heads in the sand about college, even in fall of senior year. My own son finally chose some tours in October, applied to 4 in late Dec., and ended up thriving at Brown, now in the CS field.
Transitions are hard at any age but as we get older we have more experience on how things work themselves out. Leaving home, friends, a familiar and possibly happy high school experience is very very tough. Looking at schools makes it real.
Good luck to the OP and son and @rickle1 thanks for widening the box!
Absolutely agree with you. We told him we fully support him if he chooses to study a trade or go a nontraditional route, take a gap year and work. I myself have a bachelors from years ago that I really never did much with after I had him and then his sister – I stayed home with them. And now I’m 51 and in a ADN nursing program, which would never have been on my radar when I was younger, because college was what you did. But our electrician makes bank doing what he does and goes on more awesome vacations than almost anyone I know, lol.
Great info here, thank you so much. We really do need to visit a couple schools – his high school is quite large, and I’m certain he doesn’t understand just how different the experience of a small vs large college would be relative to what even his big high school is like.
You’re welcome! And just because I didn’t link each school to its scholarship page, etc, doesn’t mean that I don’t think they’re going to fit the financial bill. I just ran out of time.
No. It makes NO sense! We are the second highest cost public schools in the country!
OP - you might consider adding Ursinus, Elizabethtown, and possibly Muhlenberg to the mix. With merit aid, these may come in cheaper than state schools.
It’s hard because you don’t want to push too much and you don’t want to throw up your hands either…
Is there a way you could do a casual college tour? Or do you have a local university that has events for the public and you could go to an event there and kind of walk around the campus as well?
Sometimes i feel like it might be because by taking an active role it becomes real to them - that they are moving on to the next level and they aren’t ready to accept that so they want everything to be “taken care of” so that they can remain in a sort of denial while clinging to their current situation. Don’t get me wrong - sometimes it’s pure laziness but based on your sons stats it looks like he’s very smart and not apathetic so I’d say maybe it’s what I mentioned above.
