My youngest is applying to 9th grade now. His brother applied last year, and was wait listed at Deerfield and Exeter (where he would have been a multi generation legacy, not that that matters). He attends the most academically challenging high school in our city, where he is thriving. I don’t think he spent that much time on his application, but his grades were outstanding, and his SSAT with little prep was roughly 90%. Hence I don’t fault the schools for waitlisting him.
His younger brother is an exceptional student - valedictorian no doubt with all A-pluses- and scored 98% on the recent SSAT. He is completely self motivated. He doesn’t just want to get the top grade for its own sake, he actually wants to do the very best that he can, as almost every teacher notes in their grading. He is also a competitive squash player (his grandfather was an All American in squash).
Here’s the dilemma: I don’t want the boys to be separated as they are such good friends. The youngest wants to go to boarding school, because he wants to be surrounded by the smartest students and the toughest challenges, combined with his awe when he saw the squash courts at both Deerfield and Exeter. But I doubt he wants to be separated either really.
The oldest because he was wait listed feels the boarding schools didn’t want him and therefore doesn’t want to reapply. Further, he is excelling academically where he is and loves it. I think the youngest too will feel similarly there as well.
I feel a dilemma now in whether he should apply. Personally, we love having them here at home with us as well.
Maybe it is just another burden the youngest siblings have then that he won’t be able to apply to boarding school?
I should also say that the youngest is very impressed with his brother’s school as well, and would be excited to attend there. He doesn’t view it as a consolation prize at all. But he dreams of those squash courts!
Do both kids play squash? Or only your youngest? Sorry this wasn’t clear to me when I read your post.
Taking two kids to tournaments who are on the same schedule is much easier. Exeter has saturday classes occasionally which makes tournaments tougher.
The squash program at Deerfield is excellent, however transporting back and forth to weekend tournaments can be a challenge. Exter’s squash program is not that great.
As a mom of 4, I suggest you let your younger son apply, as it sounds like he is passionate about the idea. You really don’t have to make a final decision until acceptances are received. It is hard to predicte how our decisions will affect our kids futures and there are no guarantees. It is possible by not allowing your younger son to apply, it could ultimately damage the sibling bond.
I can tell you that despite our oldest heading to boarding school across the country from his siblings- they remained extremely close.
I think you have to look at each child independently. If boarding school is best for your youngest child and he is interested in going, why shouldn’t he apply? I have two boys, one is a sophomore away at school and the youngest is now in 7th grade. I don’t know if the youngest will want to go to boarding school, and if he does look at schools, I don’t know whether the school his brother is is the right one for him. We’ll have to take a look at what would be the best environment for him and take it from there. The two of them remain close, despite the distance - technology helps a lot with that these days.
I know families who kept their kids together and ones who sent them to different schools. In every case, it was the kids themselves who decided. Noting of course that their parents were on board!
I would let him apply. If accepted, he can decide. EVeryone will be a little further along in their thinking in 5 months.
Siblings who are close stay close, regardless of whether they attend the same school.
He decided after having just toured again his brother’s high school to only apply there, as he loves that school and he didn’t want to go to Deerfield or Exeter unless his brother was there too. Part of the joy is sharing experiences. I think it’s the right decision, as if they are happy now why change things?
So this might be a silly question, but I noticed you said that DS2 decided to APPLY to only DS1’s school. Is there any chance he might not get in? In other words, do you need to think about a back up?
He has a back up of the current school where he is, which is a great school. But with his grades, SSAT, personality and sibling preference, I imagine he will be admitted.
