At this point I have accepted health problems as a part of my life, and I learned to live with it well till this year. I am 19 yeas old and a sophomore at my local community college planning on attending university next year for my bachelors degree. I started having severe stomach issues when I was 10 years old that has lead to 9 years of discomfort, pain, severe social anxiety and vitamin and mineral deficiencies that often make me weak and dizzy. My first year of college went well. My classes were mostly electives but not blow off electives so I was able to handle the full course load while working and still felt happy and ok. My grades were excellent too. But this year I have very difficult classes pertaining to my major and alot of scholarship money is at steak if I can keep my GPA. My family isn’t exactly rich and I’ve costed them so much in medical bills already I would love to pay for this as much as I can. I have put alot of pressure on myself to keep high marks but I am struggling this semester. I have B’s and won’t fail anything, I just feel very sad and like I am letting myself down by not maintaining the 4.0 I had. It has caused my health problems to flare up beyond belief too, and I feel like I spend all my time laying my bed staring at my laptop screen doing homework, and working a small amount. When I do have free time its used to do the schoolwork I couldnt get done earlier in the week. I feel sad and have no motivation to see my friends anymore. I was not a super dedicated school kid in high school due to the health problems too, so I always felt the need to redeem myself in college. Stress is destroying my life and I don’t want to turn to medication or alcohol but I don’t know what to do. I still have another whole semester before I go off to university but I don’t even want to finish,
I am very sorry you are going through all of this. My advice would be to try (I know this is hard) to only worry about things you need to worry about. It seems very unlikely you need to maintain a 4.0 to keep up a scholarship, but you should find that out. Have you had any treatment for social anxiety? It sounds possible that you are facing additional anxieties and perhaps other emotional issues. There should be a counseling service nearby, either at the college or in the community that could help you. It sounds like you are really trying to go this alone, so you don’t burden your family, and you are withdrawing from your friends, so it would be really helpful if you could find someone to talk to about your stressors and your feelings. Wish you all the best.
Have you been medically evaluated for social anxiety? My DD has it and is on medication that helps immensely.
I also wanted to see if you’ve been treated for stomach issues. It might be something other than anxiety. IBS, Crohns, Celiac Disease, or a host of other autoimmune diseases could also be a factor in your anxiety.