<p>Our kids have our credit card mostly for an emergency. They are not allowed to use it unless for agreed upon items. It is mostly used for their clothing which they have a yearly budget for and they report in when they have used it and a running tally is kept and they have to keep to that clothing budget. Sometimes it is used for books or school supplies as we pay for the items that are needed for class. Otherwise, they can't (and don't) use it. They don't have a budget for books and related class supplies. But they do have monthly "incomes" they have to manage with....both their own money and ours. But for school related books and supplies, we want them to get what is needed and so we don't hand over cash for that as they get what is required and inform us immediately of those charges or they lay out the money and we reimburse them.</p>
<p>CPT, I hear you on the fees. We decided that a couple of bounced checks and 2-3 non-network ATM fees was part of the cost of raising a kid. Nobody is born knowing how to manage money.</p>
<p>It is hard trying to distill so much wisdom into a couple of days before they leave for college, and not every kid is as receptive to learning as every other. So we've tried to focus on teaching the principals of money management without getting bent out of shape on every screw up-- still, as you've pointed out, comes a time when you pull the plug and pray your kid doesn't end up selling plasma to pay their electric bill....</p>
<p>soozievt: I would like to send you a om, but they box is full.</p>
<p>I prefer emails. I can try to reply but I am also leaving in 24 hours for college move ins, move outs, etc.</p>
<p>Here is the update:</p>
<p>She paid us back what she owed us. She had to sell some belongings to do this. We opened a new bank account for her which comes with a credit card. So she will have her own card to use. We have online access to everything, so we will know exactly what she is spending. She has never incurred any fees for being overdrawn.</p>
<p>She took the car, but I don't think she will want to do that drive very often. She told me she had no plans to come home every weekend, but would like to come home occasionally. </p>
<p>She is currently very miserable missing the boyfriend, but I expect that will get better as she gets more involved in classes and friendships. She does have friends from high school there, so she has seen them some.</p>
<p>Progress! In my experience things always get better once classes start, there are papers due, etc- orientation just leaves the freshman with a lot of time on their hands.</p>
<p>Keep us posted.</p>
<p>My d missed her boyfriend horribly for about a week. He really was a wonderful guy and worth missing, but when school started in earnest she didn't have much time to sleep, much less miss someone. Once he went off to college and was 5 time zones away, involved in his own college experience, it didn't take long for them to break up. She had a new boyfriend by Halloween. Kids just have no idea how dramatically their lives will change.</p>
<p>Glad it's going to work out.</p>
<p>FWIW, I don't think it's necessary to say more to the kid than "I'm not going to pay for you to drive home every weekend."</p>
<p>No explanations, no sit-downs, no context required.</p>
<p>Sometimes in life there are rules, and they can appear arbitrary, unfair, or manipulative, but those who understand that rules exist - and who can comply with them - will have a leg up in the real world.</p>