BTW, judging by your D’s post about housing, she is moving on quite nicely already. Luckily, you have us. 
Yes, she is going to MSU, which is a great school and awarded myself a great education. She was hoping to be different…lol…she is graduating with about 600 kids, and not many are going outside of Texas, being in the top 10% of her class, she was guaranteed a spot at a Texas state University, but she really wanted to go to college somewhere she had not been raised, so good for her.
We are focusing on this from a religious perspective, God did not want her at the U of Wisconsin and some other schools for some reason, and embracing being a Spartan. I know in the long run she will be just fine. I personally don’t think a college education should be so unattainable.
@blossom, wow!! Well said. @erdockw I hope that you resurrect this thread next year telling us about how your D is thriving and loving her school.
Oh, I did not want her at IVY, so I am actually VERY relieved that she is not going to be educated from that skewed view of the world. But her numbers were right on for most of the state schools that she applied to…
lol, yes we have, she is far more accurate on the “numbers.” Any way, I for certain did not want her at an IVY school, we are pretty against that, and honestly she really wanted a state school, in another state than where she was raised for a different experience. Michigan State is a great University. She will do great there. The process has been an eye opener, it’s sad actually, but things happen for a reason.
Her natural strength is math, she is bilingual, thinking about engineering, pre-med, not completely certain yet. MSU offers all that she needs academically. It’s so hard to know what you want to be when you grow up…lol…
^^^^I think there is a way for you to vent, be taken aback etc without dumping on Ivys. As many have pointed out her scores weren’t in that range. They are fine universities and quality experiences but just not the fit for your kid. Sounds like the university she has chosen is a fine one. Things do happen for a reason.
ND was the only “IVY” league school, I have a crazy issue with Ivy league schools any way, and ND was not her first choice, but we even have a family member who is a professor there…lol…
And remember that some of those special snowflakes who @blossom mentioned are stating things that are just not quite true. All athletes don’t have a full ride, even if their parents claim they do. All kids who ski at Aspen and snorkel at Easter are not receiving need based grants, they are taking out need based loans. The dork who got into Stanford might be studying 8 hours a night to get a 2400 on the SAT and you just don’t know it and is jealous of your child getting the role in the school play for 4 straight years.
Be happy your child got what she wanted.
" I personally don’t think a college education should be so unattainable."
How is a college education so unattainable for your D?
“The process has been an eye opener, it’s sad actually, but things happen for a reason.”
I don’t understand the sadness.
Your D will be going to a fine school, and $ doesn’t appear to be a consideration.
Take heart in knowing your daughter will be with friendly, warm, accepting people with whom she will make life-long friends. She will have fabulous lab, internship, and study-abroad opportunities, and the chance to rise to the top academically.
The Ivies are not so terrible as you assume, but there is huge competition for top grades, and even to be accepted into extracurricular clubs and groups.
MSU has a beautiful campus where the forests, gardens, and river provide magnificent displays of color and form throughout the 3 seasons. Just be sure to pack the big down jacket and snow boots.
ND is not an Ivy… I admit, I am getting less sympathetic as we go here.
It’s not just the angst of your child, it’s the angst of all of his or her friends. Last fall all they could talk about was their applications, now that decisions are coming out and nearly every kid is experiencing rejection, my S and his friends have stopped talking about or asking where they were accepted and/or rejected to spare the feelings of the others. They are spending lots of time together, barely getting their homework done, and HS is nearly at an end, so the days are bittersweet. Ivy day is next week and for many kids, this will be the first big disappointment of their lives.
Next comes the $ discussion because of the cost/value equation and wild variance in tuition, FA, and scholarships. We didn’t find the NPC to be all that accurate.
OP I understand how you feel. My DD is quite high stats, 4.0 UW, lots of APs, high SATs (but not NMF), interesting and sustained ECs, participant in competitive-entry science programs. She’s applying for a non-engineering STEM major. Thankfully, she applied to a wide range of safeties, matches and reaches, and she’s got some excellent (and affordable) choices. But she didn’t get accepted to her top choice, a public school. She’s above the average scores for their admits, but it’s a competitive pool and she wasn’t one of the chosen. We knew going in it was competitive. But I’m a native of this state, and grew up at a time when the UCs were much less competitive. I had friends who went to UCLA and Berkeley – from our urban public school – with multiple Bs and Cs. It’s hard to wrap my head around how much it has changed, and when we started the college research process, I was shocked at how competitive our local schools have gotten. As others have said, rejection is a part of life, and we all have to learn how to deal with it. We all know getting rejected from your top choice – and having other good choices – is a first world problem. But rejection still stings and it’s hard to see our kids going through that, even though it is an important learning experience. It sounds like your daughter has a great college to attend and that’s a blessing. My daughter has smart and talented friends who have been rejected and/or waitlisted from their match schools and are faced w/ not a lot of great options (like unaffordable safeties). I’m just glad I had read the CC advice to have a number of acceptable and affordable safeties. DD got honors programs and/or merit to her safeties early on, and then got into all of her matches, and that was a relief. It’s been a difficult process though, and I really do understand how you are feeling!
A personal story. Way back when I was in high school, I applied to many highly selective schools, recommended to me by an uncle who was a college professor. My parents provided very little help or guidance. My dad was very deep into his work. My mom never went to college (though was salutatorian in high school). I had excellent grades (graduated 5th of 577 in my high school class). I was the “most outstanding senior” “Scholar-Athlete” in my school.
But I didn’t know from tests. Took the SAT in Fall of my senior year without ever having even seen it before; never a practice test. Did very mediocre (scores in 500’s)! Improved on a second taking (711 in math – yes scores were not rounded to nearest 10 points then). Did much better on the so-called “achievement tests.” You see, I was learning how to take these exams. But basically, it was too late. I was turned down by some great colleges, including my dream Stanford, plus Princeton, Amherst, and many more. I was admitted to Reed and the University of California. I chose Reed. I had never even visited the campus before I arrived for freshman orientation. (Tuition was only $1,240 my freshman year; room and board, $600. My have things changed in that area.)
Four years later, as a senior at Reed, I confronted the dreaded standardized tests again – without prep. But I did very well on GRE and LSAT, and was admitted to Princeton (PhD) and Stanford (Law) and several other excellent colleges. I turned those both down and went to Wisconsin for a PhD.
The purpose of my long story isn’t to brag but to illustrate what I meant by my “one false step” post above. It’s a competitive world. Much more competitive for admission to college now than in my day. You have to do the best with the hand you get. And you can do spectacular things, some that you never dreamed of, if you not only cope but continue to strive and create a life for yourself. Seek out opportunities to expand your horizons, experiences, and connections.
@erdockw Your daughter needs you to take a constructive approach. I recommend that you follow that old saying by Satchel Paige: “Don’t look back. Something might be gaining on you.”
I was confused how she got denied to 3 Ivy League schools since the decisions aren’t even out-but now you are saying she didn’t apply to any?
The OP says “a couple were Ivy”, then mentions ND as an Ivy. Maybe an SCEA application to an actual Ivy?
OP has Ivy League in quotes, and I’m thinking s/he means well-regarded private schools, not the 8 schools actually in the Ivy League. I went to an Ivy League school in dinosaur times, and until I actually was on the campus, I thought “Ivy League” was shorthand for “excellent private school.” For example, I thought Northwestern was an Ivy League school.
OP doesn’t know which schools are Ivies, just that Ivies are terrible places with terrible values. Or something.
I think @romanigypsyeyes turned down some pretty prestigious schools to attend MSU and had a terrific experience. Perhaps she feels like sharing