<p>I think the guy should pay for the first date. If she decides to go out with him again, she should at least offer to pay. That shows that she's not out for a free meal.</p>
<p>Then the cow makes up some lame excuse why the date didn't go well so she doesn't have to do it again. Serial daters they are called. Never date a chick with a list.</p>
<p>no guys should not pay. the guy paying was alright when women weren't represented in the workforce...now since they have the economic means to support themselves, why the hell should we continue to pay?</p>
<p>rotflmfao @ this thread</p>
<p>I think unless you are in some sort of relationship, the guy should pay. Otherwise, if its just a social dinner or event, the girls can pay for exactly what Citan said.</p>
<p>Dating wise it kind of goes back and forth I think. I am a girl by the way. If I pick the activity I will usually pay unless the other person absolutely insists. If they pick the activity then they usually pay. I don't think there is an absolute rule here. It depends on the two people involved. I have one best friend that I have known for a long time and we have both gone up and down in our financial situations. When he is up he treats and when I am I do. This also goes for my girlfriends. As far as first dates I always tried to pay for what I ordered. This way I don't have to feel guilty for ordering something expensive either. Since you are both getting to know each other one person shouldn't have to pay for everything.</p>
<p>Hey flipchick, you say that if a guy asks a girl out (biological norm and practical necessity) that he pays for everything? So, if a girl asks a guy out (ignoring the fact that this rarely happens simply because of the nature of females), she should pay for the guy? No seriously.</p>
<p>Woman are NOT attracted to guys who are try-hard or desperate, in which paying for her stuff/ pulling out her chair, etc is not attractive. I assure you, when you don't pay, you're not being "rude" or "cheap." It shows the date is mutual enjoyment of each other's company, rather than: guy <em>gives</em> girl date, girl <em>gives</em> guy in return physical intimacy. The last time I checked, that's called prostitution.
How bout guy and girl <em>share</em> date, guy and girl <em>share</em> physical intimacy.</p>
<p>The only reason guys pay for girls is because they naturally but wrongly believe that this impresses them or turns them on. It doesn't.</p>
<p>Are they just being nice???</p>
<p>Well if that was the case they'd pay for a male friend when they invited him to something also. "*** dude I'm not gay!!"</p>
<p>Exactly. You're paying for her to attract her, too bad it does the opposite.</p>
<p>I think it's really nice when a guy offers to pay. I think its chivalrous, and I think it's rude if he doesn't at least offer. Honestly, I think guys should pay for first dates, and when women make a dollar for every man's dollar, then I might change my mind.</p>
<p>Peter_parker, I am a girl and I still disagree with you. I really like it when guys do those things for me. It shows me that they care. There is, of course, a point where it goes overboard, but most guys don't come anywhere close to that point. And yes, if a girl asks a guy out on a date, I think she should pay, unless he insists on paying for his part.</p>
<p>I'm sorry, but if a guy wants me to like him, he should at least try to impress me. Not that the money itself impresses me, but the fact that he cares more about me than about a few stupid dollars does impress me. After a couple dates or so, I think it's only fair for the girl to start paying too.</p>
<p>flipchick, do you really think it's fair to semi-expect a guy to do this all in the attempt at getting you to like him, when he doesn't really know if you like him? How is he supposed to know that you aren't looking for a few free dates? What incentive does he have to trust that you won't just use him for a few dates then drop him?</p>
<p>I think he should offer to pay for the first date because he asked (It would not be fair for him to do the asking and then not pay.), but every other one is generally discussed, so both should pay.</p>
<p>I agree with that.</p>
<p>Personally, I won't go on a second date unless there is at least some sort of potential between the two of us. I wouldn't use a guy just for free dates ever. And yes I do expect the guy to pay if he asks me out on the date, especially the first one or two. It's a very simple thing. If the guy doesn't have a lot of money, he should just ask me on a date that doesn't require a lot or any money. A date doesn't have to be all elaborate or anything. My date the other day consisted of a long walk together followed by singing with this large group of people in a tunnel on campus. No money involved, yet one of the funnest dates I've ever been on.</p>
<p>Flipchick, first of all, girls virtually never ask guys out. I mean, how many guys have you asked out (with your intentions known that it was a romantic date, not just, 'hey you wanna hang out?') No need to answer, I know its 0.</p>
<p>Then you talk about how you consider if the guy "cares about me more than a few dollars."</p>
<p>Um, isn't the point of the date to get to know each other, yet you expect the guy to somehow care deeply about someone he doesn't know very well? Not to mention, when a guy doesn't pay, it doesn't mean he's cheap, poor, or doesn't care about you. It means he has enough confidence and self-esteem in himself to charm you with his favorable qualities rather than buying your affection.</p>
<p>flipchick: recall or notice dates where the guy paid for you and the dates where the guy didn't pay (these will be rarer, b/c many guys are desperate)
or notice in the future. I bet the guys who go 50/50 are a lot more charismatic. Remember the worst date of your life, or a date where the guy was so needy and desperate to be with you. He probably bought you all kinds of junk, which maybe you though he was a nice friend, but by no means your lover!</p>
<p>I admit that I have had guys who have gone too far and got to the point where they annoyed me. There was this one guy who would always buy me things even though I told him not to. That was annoying and desperate. Paying for the first couple of dates, however, is not like that at all. Paying a few dollars for a date or two is not buying my affection. It also isn't a display of caring for me deeply. However, it does show that he cares a bit more than he does for his money.</p>
<p>I am not promoting guys going out and trying to be all showy with their money to win girls over. I would feel very uncomfortable if a guy started spending tons of money on me. I'm just saying that it is nice when the guy pays for the first date or two. It doesn't, and shouldn't be, a big deal. </p>
<p>Confidence and self esteem are great qualities. However, those things shouldn't stop guys from being gentlemen as well. It's not that I want their money. I just want to see that their willing to put someone else first just for a little while.</p>
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I just want to see that their willing to put someone else first just for a little while.
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<p>The door swings both ways.</p>
<p>Sure, but not in the same ways on the same night. If a girl asks a guy out, she should be the one who pays--whether or not it is a romantic date. Plus, after a date or two, the girl should of course pay too. It's just a basic concept really, if you ask someone out on a date, you pay for them. Plan the date according to your budget. If you don't want to spend any money, do something that doesn't cost any money.</p>
<p>Sure, but not in the same ways on the same night. If a girl asks a guy out, she should be the one who pays--whether or not it is a romantic date. Plus, after a date or two, the girl should of course pay too. It's just a basic concept really, if you ask someone out on a date, you pay for them. Plan the date according to your budget. If you don't want to spend any money, do something that doesn't cost any money.</p>
<p>
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It's just a basic concept really, if you ask someone out on a date, you pay for them.
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<p>This would work so much more beautifully in a world where women were more apt to ask men out instead of waiting for him to take the initiative.</p>
<p>I always feel akward having someone pay for me, so I always offer to pay my half. If the guy asked me specifically out to do something I would offer to pay my half, and then kind of secretly hope that he would say no and pay for me (but I wouldn't hold it against him if he didn't). That's kind of confusing huh? Oh well. If I were going out with someone I would deffinetly try to trade off on who pays--who ever initiates the activity should offer to pay for it, or it should be split 50/50, but it deffintly shouldn't always be the guy. If a guy insists on paying, and isn't arrogant about it (like if they quietly slip their credit card to the person and didn't make a big deal out of it) it's very gentlemanly. I guess as you get older and start to think slightly more long-term it kind of shows that they can take care of you. I dunno, that's just my take.</p>