<p>Who should pay? Girl or guy? One pays for the popcorn and one pays for the tickets? I usually pay for the tickets and my date pays for the refreshments.</p>
<p>Your definition sounds good. It really depends on each person, but I think that if the guy asks the girl out, he should pay. If it's vice versa, then the girl should pay. After more and more dates they can switch off on the paying or just go dutch and focus on enjoying each other's company.</p>
<p>why would you even go to a movie for a date... unless you've been dating for a while and then it isn't even considered a date, just hanging out.</p>
<p>and alternate paying for dates if you've been dating a while, or split it. if not, each pay for your own ****.</p>
<p>my "dates" usually don't involve buying more than a coffee (if anything) so I avoid the issue entirely.</p>
<p>If you ask her out to a movie or something, just pay. $20 may seem like something in college, but it's just dust in the wind. You're supposed to be broke in college anyway.</p>
<p>Hell, I pay for fast food and other junk for my male friends some times. And they return the favor. No one keeps track or cares. I'd just be generous and put to bed all the politics about who owes who $10, and stuff like that. You'll find that the girl will return the favor and pay for your dinner sometimes, and some girls insist on paying for themselves.</p>
<p>it's not about the $10, though. it's about not giving in to outdated traditions. If women want equality, they can pay their half. If not, get back in the kitchen.</p>
<p>I'd also like to say that any guy who buys anything for a girl before he has sex with her is completely giving his power away.</p>
<p>I generally offer to pay for my half, but usually guys refuse and pay for it themselves anyway. I have no problem paying for my own stuff, I've even paid for both me and a date before (one of my exes); he ended up buying me food a few days later to "make up for it", which was fine with me.
The guy I'm dating now bought me alcohol the other day! That was nice of him.</p>
<p>Split the cost, otherwise your a fool if you're a guy. But if you're a guy, and she's willing to pay, take that.</p>
<p>first to get the money out wins</p>
<p>Well, yeah, ideally, you get the girl to like you and hang out with some frequency before you do anything even with the remote possibility as being labeled "a date" anyway. The formality and connotations of a "date" will stifle you, anxiety and awkwardness for both of you, etc. I guess if I shot myself in the foot and decided to take a girl I just met on a "formal date" I'd just pay to avoid looking cheap and b/c it might rub her the wrong way, like I really don't care for her too much.</p>
<p>Otherwise, yeah, keep it casual, grab some coffee or lunch together, or just meet up at her place or yours. Emphasize "this is not a date" if you have to and then flirt away. Thus, you don't have to pay for her anyway. Might not sound like great advice for all these date-hungry girls who want to be invited to Cinderella's ball, but I think it's a boon for guys.</p>
<p>I've never gone on something I'd call a date where I didn't pay for the girl. Some girls wouldn't like it but most do.</p>
<p>my current boyfriend and i split everything on our first date. now, i pick up small things--movies, casual dinners--and pay for the food i use to cook us dinner a few nights a week, and he gets most of the rest--plays, concerts, fancier dinners--because he makes worlds more money than i do.</p>
<p>From the point of view of a girl, it's nice when a guy pays. It makes them seem polite, and like they are into you. But at the same time, it shouldn't be expected. Guys rarely expect for the girl to pay (at least, I've never met a guy who expects it), and girls shouldn't stick to tradition and expect guys to pay. </p>
<p>Personally, I like the idea of going dutch. If you are two poor college students, you can always find something to do that doesn't cost much. If you're into them, it shouldn't matter what you guys are doing. Enjoying each other's company is far more important than who is paying.</p>
<p>I will say that once I actually start exclusively dating a girl she'll pay for herself sometimes. Usually if it's just us grabbing lunch somewhere we'll split it, but if we're going out to a nice dinner I'll get stuck with the bill still. Nice racket they've got going on, haha.</p>
<p>"it's not about the $10, though. it's about not giving in to outdated traditions. If women want equality, they can pay their half. If not, get back in the kitchen."</p>
<p>Russel7, I completely agree.</p>
<p>My ex used to pay for everything despite my protests, because - and he said this to my face- he was the man and was /supposed/ to pay for everything. Umwhat? (This relationship did not last very long).</p>
<p>My current boyfriend paid for our first date, I paid for the second, and we've gone splitsies on everything since. Even though every time he offers to pay, it's fine because he doesn't fight me about it when I suggest we split instead.</p>
<p>Yeah, I guess my penchant for dating military guy's daughters leads to them expecting more of a "traditional" dating. And daddy issues. Go figure. Maybe I should stop that.</p>
<p>I might understand how us guys would complain about being expected to pay for the entire dinner. But, why would a girl complain? Just enjoy the free meal...</p>
<p>Girls typically aren't attracted to guys who are pushovers.</p>
<p>If a girl is attracted to you, she will be willing to split the bill, and a lot of times even pay for you.</p>
<p>You are getting rid of a lot of power early on in the releationship by paying for dates.</p>
<p>eff that, paying for a girl won't cause you to lose any "power" with her. i love it when my boyfriend pays for me, because i am broke as haleeeeee and he has a real job. he likes feeling like he's taking care of me, i like not having to worry about overdrawing my bank account. win/win!</p>
<p>Eh... if you choose to pay for something willingly it doesn't make you a pushover.</p>
<p>I don't pay for a girl out of obligation or some sort of "rules."
I don't <em>not</em> pay for a girl because of an obligation or rules to maintain a delusional alpha-gorilla-you-should-be-paying-ME-to-hang-out-with-you-I'm-so-cool fantasy image.</p>
<p>That's it; I actually CHOOSE if I want to pay or not. Simply out of generosity. I don't pay, or not pay, to impress anyone or any girl. No alterior motives, no expecting anything in return.</p>
<p>Obviously, you're not "required" or expected to pay on a date. Just like you're not required to show up to class on time or do someone a favor at work. You're not required to do jack.</p>
<p>And actually, girls have told me stories about terrible dates where they offered to go dutch b/c they knew there wouldn't be a second date, and felt it was the right thing to do. So you're theory there is a bit off.</p>
<p>And "giving up power"? By throwing in some bucks for a meal? That's a joke right? Tell me you're kidding please. But if you're worried about a girl walking all over you or not respecting you, well -- that'll be determined well before you decide to pay for a meal.</p>
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eff that, paying for a girl won't cause you to lose any "power" with her. i love it when my boyfriend pays for me, because i am broke as haleeeeee and he has a real job. he likes feeling like he's taking care of me, i like not having to worry about overdrawing my bank account. win/win!
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<p>You're in a long term relationship. There is a difference. In a long term relationship, of course people should buy gifts for each other, and pay fully for dates, etc.</p>
<p>But my interpretation of this thread, is that it is about the dating process. The part before the long term relationship. If I call up a girl I met at a party, and we decide to meet for lunch or something, she's expected to be paying for her meal. If I've been dating a girl for 6 months, and we're going out on a date, then maybe I'll pay for her.</p>