<p>Several factors in play here. Perhaps we are all used to ignoring spam style messages and junk mail, but ignoring an acceptance/invitation from an institution that is offering you a place you applied for is just not on. Get into good professional habits sooner rather than later.
Also, although we don’t like to think of it as such, the admissions office has to be run like a business, dealing with the identity of the incoming students, placement on campus, as well as the financial implications and other matters. The student’s application put him/her into that process and a direct communication from the student should be used to withdraw.</p>
<p>S e-mailed and will follow up with a hard copy for the file (though I bet they print out the e-mail and put it in the file)
I will tell you that every school - small or large - that son sent an e-mail to, informing them of his decision elsewhere and why, has written back with a thank you for informing them.</p>
<p>Feedback lets colleges and universities know how to improve. We thanked schools for their admissions and scholarships, and let them know why their offer was declined in favor of another institution’s scholarship. Actually got polite responses from several, and one top 10 university that had offered only a small scholarship communicated that they were glad to get the feedback and were reorganizing their financial aid/scholarship process. </p>
<p>We also filled out post admission surveys when they were sent.</p>
<p>Your child should absolutely respond to the schools for the following reasons:</p>
<ol>
<li>Learn responsiblity</li>
<li>Aid the school in accurately assessing who is/not interested</li>
<li>Mere respect</li>
<li>Never want to burn bridges</li>
</ol>
<p>We notified the schools as my daughter is an acting major. We wanted a spot to open for others and to allow them to redistribute the scholarship money and financial aid grant money to those in need.
She got into her first choice so we hope it helps others get in that might be waiting. It’s the right thing to do, plus they won’t keep calling and emailing.</p>
<p>I get the conflict adverse thing. I meet a lot of adolescent girls like this. You might be surprised how many teens out there are leery of using the phone because the person on the other end might be “mean”. In addition, I think it’s wise to choose your battles. Depending on your family, this may not be the thing to go to the mat on. OTOH, most schools send a reply card, or a link, and that would be a good step toward dealing responsibly with things that make you anxious. Can you imagine her dealing with teachers, administrators, and peers ( and taxi drivers…but that’s MY d’s story) next year if she can’t do this? Using email, a simple response card, or an email button means you don’t have to actually intercat with anyone who might be “mean”.</p>
<p>BTW, my D ended up saying no to about 12 schools. I was SO impressed with the schools who implied they would still be there if it didn’t work out. I still think of that.</p>
<p>I don’t know about everyone else, but all the schools that I apply to had an option on their tuition deposit form to state if I was not going to attend, and they specifically ask to let them know if I’m not going.</p>
<p>There are two statements on each letter, one saying that I will attend and the other saying that I wont, each one with a box next to it to mark my decision. If I put that I’m going, I’m required to send the deposit, if I’m not, just send the letter back like that with my decision and my name signed.</p>
<p>They all also gave me an addressed envelope with no need for a stamp, so I just sent them out. Pretty easy and it’s polite.</p>
<p>My D sent a very polite email. Especially important to the school which offered her finaid – which presumably needs to know if they can reallocate it.</p>
<p>Shrink rap- you cannot be serious! I spend many days wondering about why the social contract in our society seems to be broken. If adolescent girls cannot bring themselves to write a short, business- like note declining an offer of enrollment, I shudder to think of how they will deal with unwanted advances from a man at a party next year, dispute an erroneous charge on their credit card in two years, look for a professional job in four years, or handle an IRS audit in 10 years.</p>
<p>Parents, teach your children basic, common courtesies. If you let them avoid any experience in life that might be unpleasant or inconvenient or potentially difficult, you are enabling their immaturity.</p>
<p>I have a neighbor whose mother just died. They don’t want their 18 year old D to attend the funeral since “she’s not good with grief”. Who is good with grief? Nobody. But we learn to deal with grief (this was an 80 year old woman, for gods sake, not a five year old child who died suddenly and inexplicably) by our parents helping us through painful situations in an age appropriate way. So 3 year olds don’t go to funerals. </p>
<p>Write a note, decline the admissions offer, know that there’s a kid just like you dancing for joy as she gets off the waitlist next week. Sheesh.</p>
<p>To the original post - Absolutely. With tremendous financial aid issues and differing acceptance possibilities this year especially, I think it’s critical to notify asap those schools where accepted but not attending. Many students are still waitlisted, and transfers have yet to hear at many schools as well. Financial aid monies might be reallocated and make the difference in a certain student being accepted, accepted to a specific program within the school, etc. Our son, now a junior, notified all schools that he was declining their offer of acceptance. Because these were very intimate programs for the most part, he called and/or followed with an email at least to the general admissions office. The school affording him the largest, very generous scholarship, was also the second largest school accepting him. He knew that scholarship money could mean a lot to the school and another student, no matter how large the school. Our daughter, a freshman, returned postcards specifically for declining, but also notified other schools to no longer consider her after being notified of ED acceptance. Ironically, she’s now personally involved in a waiting game as she now is considering transfer for her sophomore year, has been accepted at two schools, but is still waiting to hear from her top choice.</p>
<p>Wishing you all well as you round out the remaining days of high school!</p>
<p>When I notified Kenyon College that I wouldn’t be attending, they had a form to fill out for that purpose. They wanted to know all the schools where I applied, what their decisions were, and the reason I’m matriculating somewhere besides Kenyon. In the additional comments area, I thanked them for their generous financial aid offer.</p>
<p>Case Western Reserve, on the other hand, has no way to decline enrollment. They only have an online form to accept it. Some colleges make it harder to decline.</p>
<p>Here is what my S received today by email (about a week after he sent in the “No, I will not attend” card in the mail, along with a note):</p>
<p>Dear ----------,</p>
<p>Thank you for notifying us that you will not be enrolling at Clark University
for the Fall. We have appreciated your interest in Clark and have enjoyed
working with you during the admission process. We wish you the best for an
exciting and rewarding college career.</p>
<p>The Admissions Staff
Clark University
Worcester, MA</p>
<p>Given the full court press that the colleges were making in the past 3 weeks I think they definitely want to know what their numbers will look like. The sooner you notify them, the easier it is to accept someone else off the waitlist.</p>
<p>[It’s common courtesy – a competency much more valuable than straight A’s in the business world.]</p>
<p>As an 18 year old I find it quite strange that a parent is asking whether or not one should formally decline admission. Perhaps I was raised in a certain way, but that thought wouldn’t even cross my mind. My parents expect me to do the courteous thing and the decline the offer. I would get in trouble if I didn’t! Who cares whether or not they automatically assume you’re not going if they don’t hear by May 1st. If the formal method of acceptance/declining is by mail, they may assume that your response was postmarked by May 1st but is stuck in the mail. You never know. That can result in an even longer wait for those on waiting lists. I had 10 schools to decline and I did the responsible thing. You never know when the day may come and you may need a job or some sort of help from one of those universities and they remember your lack of courtesy and it works to your disadvantage…</p>
<p>These are the replies I’ve got from the schools that I declined admission to.
</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Apparently WashU has already gone to its waitlist (see the thread on WashU) and it is not May 1. This could save a few students some money if they have not already sent in a nonrefundable deposit to their second choice school. I’m glad D notified all of her other schools really early.
However, many of her schools did not send her any kind of response card for declining admission. She just typed a generic letter and mailed it out to those who didn’t.
She tried to call those schools but they would not accept a phone call rejection. They did insist on written verification.</p>
<p>hpfan
part of raising someone such as yourself is teaching them how to do these things. Some kids (like mine) do not peruse this forum and would not know to ask this question. Now the OP has advice which he/she can pass on to his/her kid. IMO not strange at all.</p>
<p>S e-mailed for expediency and will follow up with snail mail hard copies</p>
<p>Is a letter necessary/advisable when there has been no real personal contact? Or is a short note just saying essentially, “It was a hard decision but I have chosen X” sufficient? (I understand the need to notify, just wondering about more than that.)</p>
<p>S’s notes were longer and more personal to those with whom he had contact and he mentioned by name the people with whom he met, and made sure he had the profs’ e-mail addresses so they would be notified as well. If there was no personal contact, it was a short note as you describe</p>
<p>I sent the cards to all my schools, and sent personalized, hand written notes to the two schools that offered me 20000$+ in scholarships and to the small LAC that waitlisted me. The rest of my schools got a typed form letter, with appropriate details substituted in for each.</p>