<p>I'd be worried about my S's potential roommate. Will you ask for a single room for your son?</p>
<p>I wouldn't want MY kid to be "surprised" by or have to feel responsible for a roommate who is bipolar, forgets to take meds, can't wake up in the morning, etc. I think deferring for a year/gap year and having your son work part-time and take a few classes at CC might give him time to mature. Make sure he signs the papers that allow you access to his medical records/allow you to make medical decisions for him. (I have a s-i-l who is bipolar, and when she was in college she didn't do this and it was a huge mess for her family).</p>
<p>Just as a follow up on the whole wake up/alarm clock thing. I agree with the idea of not helping wake up your son anymore and let him deal with consequences directly with the outside forces (work, school, etc). But just another parenting tip in this direction... the question I'd be asking myself to determine how much of the problem is truly biological vs. lazy or manipulative is to see if your child wakes up automatically for things he LIKES to do. </p>
<p>Our daughter used to claim that she "forgot" all sorts of important dates and times for things such as turning in school papers. When confronted, she'd swear up and down (and likely convinced herself) that there was NO WAY she could keep track of all of that stuff and her "forgetting" was just her limitation and we should get off her back. Yet... we noticed that she could remember the finest details of every social event in her very full and complicated life. Hmm. When she <em>cared</em>, she remembered, and remembered quite well. Yes, the stress of schoolwork vs the fun of social events can certainly impact the ability to keep things straight... but the bottom line is that as parents we realized our daughter <em>did</em> have the ability to keep these things straight in her mind (with or without calendars or other organizational methods)... she just simple <em>chose</em> <em>not</em> to doso with schoolwork.</p>
<p>In the end, we had to just let go and stop chasing her around to get her school work finished or turned in. She had some bumpy semesters, but we had to let her feel the consequences of the outside world's judgment/scores rather than have her rely on her parents chasing down all the loose ends in our attempt to lessen her hard landings into reality.</p>
<p>The bigger question I think that needs to be pondered is whether or not your son is going to be a realistic candidate for a 4year degree or career that requires that 4year degree. Remember, that children with far far far less problems than your son don't finish 4year degrees. Some will finish 4 year degrees in their 30s, 40s or later. I think in America not enough attention is paid toward career development and the 4year college degree is just an exercise of delaying real world contemplation of that issue. Sure, the 4 year degree opens some doors... but the cost of failure when pursuing the degree when one is ill-suited for that path is very high. Too often the degree is pursued not because it is the right path for the young adult to gain independence and a career, but because the degree is presented as The Best and Only path. As a society, I think this monolithic assumption needs to be revisted. Doubly so because of the ridiculous price of even "affordable" 4year colleges these days.</p>