@zahmata, I agree with @EllieMom that you seem to be “a particularly intelligent, articulate, and thoughtful young person”. You are also obviously very bright and talented, and you seem to have a strong commitment to helping and standing up for others. As noted above, a lot of people are rooting for you.
As I opined on your “chance me” thread, I think the double challenge for you is (1) to present yourself with a coherent narrative that ties together your interests and paints a clear picture of who you are and what you stand for; and (2) to position yourself strategically because of your tricky family financial situation (deceptively moderately high income and assets, but parents close to retirement, full-pay sister already in college, and an autistic younger brother with significant expenses). If you achieve #1 then you will likely get in to a lot of very good colleges, but achieving both of these so that you end up with some highly desirable options that are affordable for you is somewhat tricky.
I’m not sure that I completely agree with @menloparkmom that “What EVER you do, do NOT waste your time applying to ANY college that your parents CAN’T afford to send you to.” If you knew with 100% certainty, then sure; but the problem is, that’s difficult to predict. “Need based” aid can vary considerably from school to school, and the way different schools count assets or factor in other factors seems to differ.
Given your situation, I’d probably divide my list of prospective schools into 3 main groups:
- Schools for which you are a near-automatic admit based on stats/scores and for which you will likely automatically qualify for significant merit aid. As already mentioned in this thread, there are a lot of those. I would research those extensively, and make a list. With your GPA and an ACT of 30 or above (which should be relatively easy for you) you would qualify for Presidential Recognition and full scholarship at UAB. Others have mentioned numerous in-state and out of state options for which you should automatically qualify. With multiple acceptances to full-pay options, you would be in a great position.
- Schools of interest for which you would be a strong candidate for significant competitive 4-year merit aid. These include schools like Duke (AB Duke Scholar, Robertson Scholar, University Scholar and Regional Howard Scholar, all full pay), Vanderbilt (Cornelius Vanderbilt Scholar, Ingram Scholar and Chancellor's Scholar, all full tuition at least), USC (Stamp Scholar and Trustee Scholar, both full tuition; Chancellor's Scholar, half tuition), UNC (Robertson and Morehead-Cain Scholars, both full pay), Virginia (Jefferson Scholar, full pay), Rice (Trustee and Barbara Jordan Scholarships, $25K+), WUSTL (Stamps Scholarship, full tuition) and others. These are all very strong schools, and these competitive scholarships not only provide funding, they also open doors and provide fast-track access to research, professors, and resources; many top students choose them over "elite" schools, even if need-based aid and merit-based aid end up making little difference. Some of these require separate applications (or at least checking a box), others are automatically considered for all applicants. These are all highly competitive, but you are a very strong applicant with a wide range of talents and achievements and strong social interests, and I would not be at all surprised if you ended up getting one or more of these. I think you'd be a great candidate for the Robertson Scholarship. The Reginal Howard Scholarship at Duke is for exceptional students of African American heritage, and I think you'd be a very strong applicant. You should research these on the school websites, and there are lots of CC threads about most of these as well.
- I would consider applying to a small number of "reach" schools which are officially need-based only. Stanford, Yale, Penn and Brown seem like the most obvious candidates on the list in your chance thread. It's not impossible that your situation will be interpreted differently, and one or more could be relatively liberal with interpreting your need. It's also possible that with acceptances in hand you can attempt to leverage your position. But I wouldn't count on this. Financial aid offices generally are entirely independent of adcoms. I would assume that these kind of schools are "high reaches" financially even more so than academically, and take a couple of shots, but not count on them.
I also agree with the suggestion above to get in touch with some financial aid officers at schools of interest and discuss your situation.
Also, I would emphatically NOT apply ED anywhere given your financial situation. Applying EA is fine, even SCEA/REA (same thing, different names) to Stanford or Yale if you are ready, but with the caveat above. But an ED commitment with your complex financial situation would be too precarious, IMO. Merit aid at schools with ED is usually for RD applicants, to attempt to lure them away from other schools.
I do believe that you are a strong enough and unusual enough applicant that there’s a decent chance things will work out well, but you really won’t know for another 6-9 months.
Finally, I strongly agree that college is just one step on the path, and that the goal isn’t to get into an “elite” college but to get a strong education and position yourself for life. With your talents and maturity you will undoubtedly do well wherever you end up. You are who you are, regardless of where finances dictate that you will end up matriculating.