“She should apply to some of those scholarships, and then forget that she did.”
I would agree with this, for any applicant. I think the OP is a good candidate for some of these, but my “I would not be surprised” was not intended to imply a likelihood of receiving a competitive merit scholarship; I did not mean to give that impression. I don’t think any one - no matter how qualified and how strong a candidate - stands more than a long shot at getting such competitive scholarships, and I certainly would not place reliance on getting one.
My advice to the OP would be:
- Come up with a list of schools to which admission with substantial merit aid is guaranteed (or near-guaranteed) based on objective criteria. The goal should be to have one or more assured acceptances with adequate funding.
- Research some of the competitive merit scholarships and pick some to which to apply, based mainly on which schools are of interest.
- Talk to financial aid offices at need-based reach schools to clarify how things like ongoing financial support for her autistic brother will be factored in. Unless the response indicates that need-based aid will clearly not make these schools a viable option, then go ahead and apply to some small number of them.
- Forget about #2 and #3 until results come in, and then see whatever settles out.
If my earlier post suggested a rosier picture than that, then I am happy to clarify.