I was accepted to Georgetown, BC, Notre Dame, and an instate school so far, but my best friend is already at the instate school, and I know the classic, “You shouldn’t go to a college because of a best friend.” I am just worried I won’t find great friends and that I will always miss her and I will become miserable. The downside is that I wouldn’t get to go to these amazing schools and the instate school doesn’t have my major. I know it should be an easy decision, but I am really torn. Please help!
i know you already know this but you’d be crazy to go the state college route when you have these admits in-hand.
These are normal jitters, IMHO…when you arrive at one of those other colleges, 80% of the kids are going to be in the same boat,that is, adrift from all HS friends…and looking to form connections. You are going to be in great shape!
If you guys are really good friends, you can stay connected through texting and Facebook.
If the instate school doesn’t even have your major, you shouldn’t go there. Especially when you have such great acceptances from Georgetown, BC and Notre Dame! Your friend shouldn’t be angry either–if she really is your friend, she’ll want what is best for you and that is going to a good school that you were able to get in.
There’s no reason to spend money on a school that doesn’t have your major. Your friend didn’t wait around to see what college you’d be attending before she registered, did she? FWIW, my best high school friend attended a college several states away from the college I attended. Fifteen years later we were in each other’s weddings. Now we’re old enough to have children going to college. We still live several states away from each other, but we’re still close. Go to one of your amazing schools and keep in touch with your friend via text and on the social media sites. 
What’s really ironic is that when a clingy person follows their friend like this because they lack self-confidence, all too often it turns out that best friend hasn’t been too happy with the clinginess. They can’t avoid the person in HS, but away at college they develop a new set of friends and turn a cold shoulder towards the clinging follower.
As long as you are willing, you will find great friends wherever you go. It is just important to be patient – new “best friends” at college don’t show up overnight, but with living and going to school together, close bonds do form quickly. Choosing a school just because another person goes is a recipe for disaster. The best thing is to grow as individuals and then come back home and share your experiences. If your friendship is true, that will work just fine. As an adult I still have a few very close friends from HS and we all went to different colleges – although we don’t see each other all the time, when we get together it is always wonderful.
As the old song I leaned as a child goes…“Make new friends and keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.”
You already have some amazing choices for colleges. Go out and take advantage of your opportunities!
mikemac and happy1 make excellent points. Go to the college that’s the best fit for your goals. You can make new friends and visit your HS friends when you’re home on break.
I DID go to my state flagship (UT-Austin), where one of my best friends went. I didn’t choose the school because of her - it just ended up that way (UT’s engineering school is highly rated, so I didn’t see the point of going elsewhere). My friend’s dorm was only about two blocks from mine, but we quickly got so busy with school and new friends that we never saw each other! Your life in college is just very different from high school. So I agree with the others - go to the school that’s best for you.
Congratulations on your acceptances! Go to the college that best fits your needs, and don’t look back. You’re in college, maybe, 32 or 33 weeks out of the year. That leaves you 20 weeks to hang out with your friend, and you can Snapchat the rest of the time.
It’s fun to have friends at other colleges. They can visit you, and you can visit them, and get a taste of the experience at the other college.
Please note that not one single person has recommended that you follow your friend. That kind of unanimity is hard to find on CC.
Remember that if you are really miserable after a year (highly unlikely) you can always transfer. Nothing is forever when it comes to college.
My son and his best friend ended up at colleges about 300 miles apart. They have visited each other on weekends, celebrated their 21st birthdays together, went to some summer rock festivals together, and may even start a business together after college. The friend needed to go to an instate school for financial reasons. They have both been happy with their schools and are still best friends!
My D has the opposite problem - has been accepted to her dream school, but so has a classmate who thinks they are good friends but my D really doesn’t like her all that much (has to do with some gossipy stuff and school club conflicts.) The other girl has already asked her to be roommates. Very awkward! Probably won’t keep my D from going to the school, but she hopes the other girl isn’t going to follow her around for 4 years. She refused to even apply to our instate flagship because so many of her HS classmates go there and she wants to meet new people!
You have some great opportunities over your instate school. I think you should be the leader of your future, not follow for the sake of someone’s dream. Your friend, although she may be disappointed, she should and would understand or she truly isn’t a friend.
Is cost of attendance a consideration? In-state at a school like IU, Purdue, OSU or UMass will likely cost your folks half as much as attending ND, GU or BC, unless one of the Catholic/Jesuit schools gives you a sizeable FA package. If cost is not a concern, then I would say go for GT or ND, unless your state school is itself an elite institution like UCLA or UNC-Chapel Hill, in which case, I would say go with your gut, although I am not sure one can make a rational case for paying twice the cost of attendance for a university of equal or lesser quality.