<p>Cobrat,</p>
<p>Those were not my words, they were cut and pasted from the link I listed below in response to another earlier post. I have no knowledge of practices in New York…guess I should have indicated that more clearly.</p>
<p>When I worked at Stop and Shop in 2008 in HS, whenever someone wanted to purchase cold medicine, the register asked us if the customer looked over 30. :eek: I mean, that was ridiculous and I never asked for ID because I only had adults buying it. That new policy was in place because a lot of teens were buying cold medicine and getting high? (or drowsy? lol, idk) off of it and parents were concerned or whatever.</p>
<p>they arent buying it go get high as much as buying it to make meth…that is why even if over 19, alabama has a limit on how much any one person can buy</p>
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<p>I made that post to say that quote is wrong about New York. Especially considering how it is at odds with my own experience and chatting with lawyers I’ve known/met who practice in NY.</p>
<p>Eastcoastcrazy - and the nutty PA laws are precisely why I am sooooo cautious. Liquor control board + uber conservative county + serving public schools = Extreme caution.</p>
<p>I was on public transportation the other day. I was seated near two young men, who were apparently brothers. The younger was talking about a wild party he’d seen written up on FB but hadn’t been invited to. A couple of stops later, a boy got on and sat down with him. I know him, but he didn’t appear to recognize me. He’s 18, a recent grad headed to an Ivy. He began talking about this party, which he had been at, describing it as “wild and awesome.” They were all drinking and, wow! some 10th grade girls passed out and guys were touching them. Ivy boy claimed it was gross and said he didn’t participate (my son says Ivyboy, whom he’s known since K, is gay, which would usually be irrelevant but is important here because it puts his being grossed out in perspective).</p>
<p>I was disgusted but knew that none of my kids hang with those kids. I thought about calling Ivyboy’s mom but she’s a real show off, you know, the nobody is as smart as MY son type and she would just think I was “jealous” because my son isn’t going Ivy. I did call the moms of 10th grade girls I know and asked if they’d been at a party, but all said no so I didn’t go any further.</p>
<p>In this situation, I am torn. My FIL was an alcholic so we have raised our kids to be aware of the dangers of drinking. We don’t support or condone underage drinking and don’t provide alcohol to any one under 21. Yet, I don’t know that I’d contact the parents of these college kids unless I knew them well. If, however, I suspected that any of them had a substance abuse or addiction issue, I would tell. That’s beyond “normal” teenaged stupid behavior.</p>
<p>Oh, and if my child persisted in breaking the law in my home, they’d be finding some place else to live.</p>
<p>And there is a world of difference between a 10th grader who was passed out drunk and 18/19 year olds who are drinking.</p>
<p>Yes, there is a world of difference between passed out 10th graders and college students and had I known who they were or where the party was, I would have called authorities, at least anonymously. I said I would only tell on the older kids if I knew the parents or if there was an addiction issue.</p>
<p>I didn’t know the other boy and my son didn’t get anything out of my physical description. The sad thing is that there are apparently many of this type of party in my town and I am SO thankful that my kids don’t participate. I have heard horror stories of stomach pumpings, car accidents, OD’s and even deaths (though not at the parties) from drinking and drugs here.</p>
<p>Too many parents are too sure their kids do not participate.</p>
<p>0 tolerance often becomes 0 disclosure.</p>
<p>^ I agree with this. I can’t tell you how many parents were absolutely convinced there was no alcohol or sex at the all night cast parties. Or if there was, their little angels would never think of participating. Yeah. Ok. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Oldfort -</p>
<p>I am one of those parents who doesn’t believe their kids participate and I am sure. I did drink and inhale in HS and if my kids did, as a rite of passage, I wouldn’t freak out, though I would not condone it or provide the materials. However, they don’t partake. My D is the kid who picks up the pieces of the drunken kids in her dorm and calls me crying over how they’re ruining their lives. My recent grad is so down on drinking that he dumped his girlfriend over it. I do think that a large part of it is because, as I mentioned earlier, their grandfather died of alcohol related issues so they have known from a young age that drinking, especially if you have the tendency in your family, is dangerous.</p>
<p>Contrary to popular belief, there ARE teenagers who don’t drink. I am fortunate to know a few of them.</p>
<p>Joan, I know many teenagers who don’t drink. I was one of them, even though I was allowed to drink. That’s not what OF and I are saying.</p>
<p>Neither my husband nor I drank while in school and we still don’t. We just never had any interest in it. None of my three children drink for the very same reason and neither do many of their friends…a few do. We’ve always discussed social issues openly in our home and our children haven’t felt the need to drink or participate in other behaviors to fit in like many do.</p>
<p>I’m sure there are many parents who say their kids don’t drink. Some don’t know, and many just don’t want to know.</p>
<p>I apparently missed out on the underage drinking scene in high school – it was very underground and people didn’t talk about it but from facebook photos released years afterwards (you know the kind of ancient photos that sit in a memory card for ages) it seemed to involve a lot of popular people at my high school (who I thought were cool in a wholesome sense).</p>
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<p>If you consider how many kids admit that they drink, and compare it with the number of parents who insist their kids don’t drink, the math is definitely off.</p>
<p>Since the OP was not there at the scene of this “party” s/he does not have first hand knowledge of who drank, who looked like s/he was drinking, who drank too much, who brought the drink, etc, and should not even address the “who” part. OP has it from the daughter that drinking took place and that there is some misunderstanding that it is condoned when it absolutely is not, and the OP wants that made clear.</p>
<p>I drank in high school. Recently I learned from reconnecting with a lot of former high school classmates that there was a lot of pot and other drug use, too. I had no idea and never saw it (fairly affluent suburban Phila school district).</p>
<p>[For</a> Parents Underage Drinking & the Law](<a href=“http://socialhostlaw.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/for-parents/]For”>For Parents | Underage Drinking & the Law)</p>
<p>If the kids were 19 and we weren’t there I wouldn’t call the parents.</p>