I’m in a single dorm at my college, and although I like not having to adjust my schedule for someone else, I’ve been feeling pretty lonely. Now I know it’s only been 5 days since I moved in for freshman year, but it seems like everyone else already has people to eat with, go to class with, etc. I cannot comprehend how they make friends that quickly.
I’m wondering if requesting for a double room might alleviate some of my concerns. I would have to compromise on a lot of things, but maybe I’d have someone as a friend or someone to fall back on. The thing is, though, I really like my floormates, and I feel like switching dorms now would cause me to have to get to know a whole new floor, and that seems really difficult.
Thing is, you might get stuck with someone awful, and that’ll be even worse because you won’t have a peaceful place to come back to. Have you tried joining any clubs yet? (Good for meeting like-minded people – same for a part-time job or volunteering.) When classes start getting harder, go to office hours as well – you might be able to meet people in your major that way.
Have you tried leaving your door open when you are in your room? An open door shows that you are friendly and welcoming, open to meeting new people. Say hello as people walk by. Also start a conversation with someone who is in a lounge or has their door open. If you see a group heading to dinner, ask if you can join them. If you see someone getting ready to leave for class, say hey can I walk with you. You won’t see what is going on behind a closed door.
I would not leave my single room.
If you like the people in your floor just knock the door and invite the other kids to your room perhaps to play a game, probably someone not accept, but a lot of people are going to your room so be it just for curiosity to known a diference between their place and yours.
Read the pinned post by bopper about how to make friends at college. It’s important.
You are off to a good start, because you like the people on your floor. They probably like you too. Trust me, there are dozens of other kids in your shoes. All those new friendships are temporary. Go to as many activities as interest you and that you have time for. Say hi to someone you see regularly. Carry a bag of m & m’s in your bag and casually pull them out when someone of interest is nearby, then offer some. Ask an acquaintance from your floor what time they are going to eat. See if anyone wants to form a study group soon.
It’s early days, and it just takes some time. Expect to feel unsettled for a couple of months maybe, and do leave your door open. It makes a difference.
Give yourself time. Both of my kids had freshman roommates who were fine but never became good friends so IMO that is not the answer. You need to get out of your room and put yourself out there. When it is time for dinner, walk down the hall and see if anyone wants to join you. Sign up for clubs that interest you. If you like someone in class ask if they want to grab lunch one day. It is a process. My S did not settle in with a group of friends in college until probably October or so – it is not unusual.
I would not ask to change rooms now. You have a comfortable situation and like the people on your floor. Just keep working at developing relationships.
Look at this link and do some of the things on the list. Leave your door open when you are home. Ask people near you when they are going to dinner. Invite people to an on campus activity. Join any dorm activities.