When I got here at UC Merced, I didn’t really know who my friends were going to be. 2 weeks in, I became hopeless sitting in my room, no friends, maybe this isn’t the place for me. So to get away from these heavy thoughts, I decided to go to the lounge. I was pretty shy to begin with, so I just stayed quiet and did my homework. Then all of sudden while these two girls were talking, they began talking to me. So I didn’t want to be rude and I responded, we talked for a bit and I got their names. Eventually as I started going back there, I met the whole group. When i was with them at first I was pretty hesitant, I left the room since it was so loud and I was overwhelmed to try to say something. Over time, I got use to it and eventually kept coming back to the lounge. This made me happy because I felt I made some true friends, they even invited me to a birthday party. Here’s where it gets to the Christian club: One night while we were all at the lounge they began talking about this club named IV, me being the nosey person I am, I asked what is that? They went on saying it was like a Christian club where you get to learn about Jesus. Since I was agnostic it didn’t sound too appealing, but they went to say all those people I met at the party were part of that club. So I decided to tell my success mentor about it since I knew she was part of it, as she talked more about it to me, i thought why not try it? I went to one of the small groups they had during the week and it turned out to be pretty interesting. As I started going to that more, my friends eventually invited me to go to church. Again, I found it pretty cool and nice, though when we began singing about Jesus, it made me feel different, I didn’t know if this was a good change or if I was forcing myself. As time went on, I actually had fun with it and really enjoyed it. The reason why I haven’t considered converting was that I haven’t gone to the main meetings due to them inflicting with my class, so I wanted to till I got the full experience and then go on with it since it is a really big decision. I began telling my brother about this and he said something that made me think. He asked “What do you want out of this? Are you looking to convert?” I responded saying I don’t know or that I need to experience it more. He went on to say that it looks like I just joined because of my friends or having a good group of people around it. If I am being honest though I find these events interesting, my views of a real god are still leaning toward agnostic. I realized my views haven’t really changed, that maybe I was pretending to be someone else without realizing it. So I thought about quitting, I would still have the friends I made at first, but I’d see them a little less often throughout the week. Those friends I’ve made through the club and are a bit older, I really only see them during arranged events, if I leave it’s unlikely I’ll see them again and I really have enjoyed their company. I’d miss a lot if I left, though I feel like if I stay I’m a imposter and even if I get to go to the main meetings that it’ll enlighten me when I’m there, but after a while I’ll probably forget about it. So my question is should I try to move on as the next semester starts and venture into things that I really find interesting, get a job or internship. Or should I stay in this club that I do find interesting, they’ve accepted my views and I really do like all the friends I’ve made and feel accepted, it’d be really hard to leave it, even though my views haven’t really changed.
The group is called Intervarsity – a long established Christian fellowship group on campuses that also serve as an evangelistic vehicle (i.e. one of its goals is to go out and spread the Christian message). I was a member of a similar group.
I see no conflict in your wishing to remain friends or attend functions – it’s not as if you’re not informed about its purpose. You mutually enjoy each others’ presence. Don’t be surprised if inquiries will be by IV members themselves along the lines of the questions your brother asked you.
Everything is out in the open. You’re not taking advantage of them (at least I hope not) and they’re upfront with you that they’re Christians, are having Christian fellowship and part of the Christian purpose is to both model the teachings and to actively convert the willing.
good friends can be hard to find in college. you say they accept you and make you feel accepted. so what does it matter if they are Christians and you are not? anyone is welcome at IV, it’s not like they are going to twist your arm behind your back and force you to convert. it sounds like you have more of a hangup about them being Christians, than they have a hangup about you not being one.
i believe you are really overthinking this. they reached out to you when you were lonely and isolated and offered their friendship to you. don’t withdraw your friendship from them and find yourself back in the same boat, sitting alone in your room feeling sad and sorry for yourself. maintain the relationships that enable you to feel connected and accepted and valued for who you are. to do otherwise would be to rob yourself of something very precious during these important years in your life. don’t make a decision that will impoverish you emotionally, socially, and yes even spiritually.
and do not convert to anything if you feel at all coerced or pressured to do so. you should only convert if you are convinced and assured in your heart that this is the right and true path for you, and no one but you can make that decision.