Should I Stay or Should I go?

Parents Forum
1

I am a first-year student at a small liberal arts college in New England.

Although I am homesick, I have not experienced much trouble since arriving on campus 7 weeks ago. I have joined clubs, made friends, gone to parties, done my homework and I get along very well with my roommates and all the girls on my floor.

Lately, however, I have been bothered about something. Ever since my father was diagnosed with liver failure late last year, I have strongly considered going into nursing. I would go with him to the local hospitals and feel at home among the hustle and bustle. I’ve always loved going to the doctors, because I was fascinated by the different tools, and machinery and their ability to help people. I would not want to go to med school, as I do not want the responsibility of being a doctor, and I like the flexibility nurses have as far as hours and settings go. I was afraid to go into nursing because I thought it was a really hard major. However, as a business major who currently despises her major, I realized they’re all like this.

I have always been someone who is close to my family, and coming from a small town I still keep in touch with everyone. I miss my mother, grandparents, father and siblings terribly because at home, they were only a few steps away.

I am only 3.5 hours from home without traffic, which isn’t very far but its still not very close. I was home last weekend for fall break, and as I visited my father in the ICU (he is battling an infection) I realized that nursing may really be my calling. It also made it a LOT harder to go back to school this week. I worry about my father a lot here, and although there is nothing I can do for him by being home, having a sick parent really puts a lot of things into perspective.

My issue? My current college does not offer nursing as a major. Also, it is 60K plus a year. My mother worries that if my father cannot go back to work soon (he has been out a month), my parents will not be able to afford my tuition and my own personal loans will greatly increase. I am from the New York City area, and the local nursing schools offer great education, opportunity and are very cheap, as I would commute. My best friend from high school is doing just that right now and loves her decision to forgo the “college experience” in order to get a jump start on her career.

I never thought that I would be the girl who stayed home and commuted to school. The thought never even crossed my mind. I also thought my school was going to be so much fun, and that i would love my major. Not. I am learning now that sometimes we cannot plan life. Any suggestions on what might be a good option for me/ input about what other people did. How bad is nursing as a major? And is going home really a smart option? Will it close me off from certain things that staying at a college in a different region would? Even if I transferred to a local nursing school, I would at least wait out the year here.

2

You seem to be approaching this decision with maturity, considering the option and taking time to think it through, while ensuring it isn’t an impulsive choice. Nursing is an admirable career and it seems life put something in front of you to show you a direction you can take. I went “home” after 3 semesters because my parents divorced and I couldn’t put my dad through the financial hardship on top of the divorce (even though he committed to see me through it). I didn’t miss anything by going home, and worked myself through the rest of a 4 year college I could commute to. I think I was at home maybe a year before I moved out again on money I was making and using to also pay for college (they were cheaper then). You may do something like that, who knows? Point is, there are all kinds of signs we get that take us down certain unplanned paths. I think you have been given such a sign. It seems you can use the next 6 months or so to decide if this is really what your heart wants. And when planning classes for next semester, perhaps there are some applicable science/bio/chem classes you could take? Start looking at the requirements for the various nursing programs. Leaving your 4 year isn’t a sign of defeat, it is just a change in plans of which you are entitled to make! It is your life, if nursing is what you decide you want, then you should go for it in the most feasible way possible. College is only a few years anyway, your career is well beyond that. I wish you, your dad and family well.

3

I sense you are looking for approval for your new calling. You have mine. If only more studetns were able to realize their calling in life as you have. Finish your semester, and find a nursing school newr home that will accept you. Many students live at home. I myself commuted for all my college years and saved my parents a lot of money. I think you have a win win situation here. Become a nurse, becasue I sense you will be a good one. Good luck.

4

Hugs to you. It’s really difficult being away from home when a family member has serious health issues, particularly when you come from such a close knit family.

As far as changing majors to nursing, my advice is to follow your gut. My undergraduate degree is in music and I went to graduate/ professional school to become a physicsl therapist. Although I continue to be involved in music on a community level, I couldn’t be happier with my choice. I absolutely love what I do and think of it more as my calling than my profession. It’s a wonderful gift to work in a field that you are passionate about.

I admire the maturity and open mindedness with which you are approaching this situation. Best of luck to you and best wishes for your father’s health.

5

While your father’s illness is scary because it is taking you father’s past vitality away from you and your family, it has given you guidance by revealing a passion. That is a gift you might forever be grateful for if a career in nursing works out for you.

Life throws a lot of curve balls, you have to be open to catching the right ones. Good luck!

6

I’m sorry your dad is ill. You seem like a very mature young woman and you’ve put a lot of thought into your decision. I’d finish the semester since it’s paid for, but I wouldn’t go back in the spring. It’s a waste of time and money if they don’t have the major you want. My son commutes to a local SUNY and he loves it. You can be as involved on your campus as you want to be.

You can only borrow ~$5500/year, so keep that in mind when planning your budget. Your parents would have to cosign for anything else, and that’s usually not a good idea under the best of circumstances. I wish you luck. I know several nurses and you sound like you’ll be a fabulous one.

7

I’ll jump on the bandwagon and say that I think you are heading in a great direction. Best of luck to you in finding the best place for your new path- and prayers/good wishes for your family

8

I would only add, have you talked to your parents about this? I would talk to them about it before making any final decisions.

9

Before you leave your current school, make sure there’s room for you in the nursing program you want to enter. Nursing is a very competitive major at every school, so don’t leave without having somewhere to go. You can likely use the gen ed credits you are getting at your current school to fulfill any distribution requirements at the next school. Good luck!

10

I am sorry that your dad is ill. However, it seems that he has provided you an unexpected blessing - his illness opened a door to an unexpected career path that you might not have otherwise considered. Frankly, I think it makes more sense, given what you have shared, to pursue nursing than it does to pursue whatever your high school self thought you might maybe want to do in life.

Do take care to research programs before you dive into another school. Talk with an academic advisor in the nursing program before making any commitments to that school. Both of my kids transferred after their first year of college, and both did so in part because they decided to do something different academically than they originally planned - and they switched to schools that better supported them in their new directions. It worked out very well for both of them.

My best to you.

11

It sounds like a good move for you. You might do well to get a better idea about the day to day work. If your dad is still in the hospital and you visit again, take some time to talk to the nurses there. Ask them what they like and dislike about their jobs. Getting enough info before you switch is important.

And as others have said, use next semester to take nursing pre reqs like bio and chem.

12

I’ll add one suggestion: Look into physician assistant (PA) programs too.

13

Be sure to research programs and requirements like entrance exams so you can get on a good calendar track.
And good luck!
Taking the long view it is more important in life to find what you really want in a career rather than hold on for a “college experience”.

14

As others have said, you sound like you are approaching this decision in a very responsible way. One suggestion might be to talk to some of the nurses, either in the hospital when you see your dad and even in your own doctor’s office to get more insight into nursing as a career. As others have said, nursing is very competitive in a lot of places so you would want to check on whether you can get into one of the public universities before you withdraw. You may also be able to finish out the year at your current school and take nursing pre-requisites.

As for the cost of your college, talk to the financial aid folks about what is going on and perhaps they will grant you some aid for next semester. You never know!

good luck and hope your dad improves.

15

Nursing applicants often increase their chances of acceptance by taking some classes and doing well, and especially by working or volunteering in the field, often as certified nursing assistants. The latter is a great way to get to know the field and hospitals often provide extra training to CNA’s, for ER, EKG etc.

I think your plan sounds like a good one, even without your father’s illness, but when you add the complexities of that to the picture, you, like many I know, have every good reason to want to be closer to home.

Community colleges often have 2 year nursing degrees, if money is a problem- and then there are many RN to BSN programs around. Or a state college or university, which would be less expensive than where you are.

You do have the option of doing nursing school or physician’s assistant program after college, but from the scenario you give us, I think you could get started as soon as you can. Make sure that the semester remaining where you are contributes to this future, and check, for instance, whether a nursing school you are interested in takes chemistry etc. from the school you are now attending or requires core courses be taken in their own program.

16

Thank you for all of your kind remarks and well wishes. I definitely have a lot to think about. I really think nursing might be for me, but I’m scared of the schooling. I feel like although I handle stress well, I will be completely overwhelmed and miserable from the schooling and I don’t want to quit after I’ve come this far.

17

You haven’t come THAT far yet.

I think it’s pretty normal for an 18-19 year old to change their mind about their career path. As another said, you seem to be approaching this with maturity, and nursing is an admirable, valuable career path.

If you realize business is not for you, but nursing is, it’s probably better to make that realization 7 weeks or one semester into college, versus 4 or 5 semesters or even after graduating. I don’t know all the details of your current situation, but perhaps a good path is to finish out your current semester, while examining your options and seeing if some/most/all of the 2nd semester money can be refunded or whatever. If you still feel in November or December that nursing is for you, consider dropping out at winter break, possibly working for a few months after, and starting nursing studies in the fall (if you can’t start them this coming spring).

Other possibilities:
Does your current school offer some sort of pre-nursing type program, where you could take biology and anatomy and the like, then transfer to a full nursing program after 2 years?

In general, it might be helpful to utilize the counseling resources that your current school presumably offers. You won’t be the first freshmen to reconsider your path, and they could be helpful.

18

Definitely follow other posters suggestions about checking out nursing programs. Find out what you need to do to be a good candidate- they are competitive. In the mean time your current school will work well for meeting breadth requirements for a BS degree. Discuss matters with your college counselor for help in planning your curriculum. You may be staying an entire year at your current school since it may be too late to transfer for next semester.

It is great you were able to experience college life living away from home for your first semester. It is an experience you can’t get any other time in your life. Do also discuss your father’s illness with your RA, counselor. You do not have to bear your burden and all of the stresses alone. You want to keep doing well despite the challenges (and that won’t hurt an application). Find and make use of on campus resources available to you.

I can see why you would be fascinated with nursing, I’m a physician and health care is so interesting despite the grungy parts! It looks like you are being exposed to some of the hard work nurses need to do, and some of the unglamorous things as well. Good luck.

btw- I’ll bet your parents want the best for you and may say you shouldn’t give up your school because of your changed family circumstances. However, discovering you like nursing better than business (I can see why- see above) it makes a lot of sense to switch schools. Get the most out of your current school’s offerings while there.

Best wishes to you and your family.

19

Well you have some ambivalence, and you are dealing with parental illness. I think it would be great if you could find a counselor on campus to talk to. It’s a lot right now for you, and would be for anyone.

20

I applied to a local nursing school the other day. If I am accepted, I can start next semester. It feels like the smartest option and I really am interested in nursing but I’ve been indecisive in the past and I don’t want to regret things.