<p>I'm currently a freshman in college (a SUNY school) and I am considering transferring. I don't know if the school I'm at right now is the right fit for me because it is a really big party school and I don't like the surrounding area. My roommate also decided to live with someone else for next year, so now I would be stuck with having to get a random roommate which I don't want to do. On the other hand, I was accepted to a much better school for the fall, SUNY Geneseo, and I'm considering transferring there. However, my boyfriend goes there right now and I don't want to feel as if I'm following him there because in a way, I need my own space. I don't want to spend all my time with him and not make any new friends. I really love Geneseo's campus and I think I would fit in there, but I don't want to be set back socially. So should I transfer or not? Any advice is greatly appreciated!</p>
<p>You are wise to ask yourself these questions about staying or going, and perhaps the people over at the transfer forum can best help you work out some of these problems. Try there.</p>
<p>What are the odds of your not being able to handle seeing your boyfriend around campus if you two were to break up?
Would it be possible for you two to have very different dorms and schedules?
Depending on these answers, you may choose to transfer or not.
If you think you’ll be able to handle seeing your BF even if you break up, if you can get your own schedule and a (relatively) distant dorm, then transferring should be okay.
If, knowing yourself, you know what the possibility of glimpsing your ex-boyfriend at lunch will be too painful and/or he’s too clingy and will want to spend all his time with you, including living in the same dorm, then it’s probably not an optimal solution.</p>
<p>You don’t like the parties at your school. You don’t like the area. You’re living situation for next year is uncertain. You have a chance to attend what you consider to be a better SUNY branch. </p>
<p>These all seem like valid reasons to transfer, compelling even. Why let the existence of your BF at Genesco hold you back? Have a talk with him and explain that while you’ll treasure being closer to him you have concerns. You want time on your own, to make new friends, you expect to join clubs he is not part of, etc. He agrees (and follows thru), great! He doesn’t, find a new boyfriend. It’s that simple, really.</p>
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Actually Mike that’s an awesome response. ITA.</p>
<p>@trs1539
BTW, Geneseo is a great, great college. If you can transfer, you should really think long and hard about not going.
Then again, Mikemac’s solution would solve all problems.</p>