<p>I am currently at a college 2 hours away from home and I am in a state of depression I am so homesick. I am only okay when I'm hanging out with my one friend or watching T.V. But otherwise when I sit down alone to study I cant even think im so sad. because of this my grades are going down because I cant focus. It takes all my energy and effort to not start crying in my room, in class, and sometimes even occasionally with my friend. I've been accepted to the university close to my home where I can live at home for college.
for me the pros of transferring are:
Being at home
mental and emotional relief and support
study better
Cons:
may be less social at home
school is a little of a downgrade
afraid I'll regret it </p>
<p>pros of staying here:
my best friend is here
very good school, has a lot of opportunities
Cons:
those opportunities will be useless if I cant get good grades here
I cant keep living in this depression.</p>
<p>I've given myself until mid November to decide whether I should transfer at semester or not. I would really appriciate your feedback and maybe your own stories of similar situations. I cant decide which path to chose. Please help
Thank You</p>
<p>Hey,
As someone who suffers from anxiety disorder and depression I have to say it is honestly up to you. I know that for me when I transferred schools I felt so much better. I was at a school about six hours away from home and I thought I could handle it. I couldn’t and I felt it was the biggest failure of my life. However, a lot of people transfer schools due to homesickness and what not. I am now at a school an hour away from home and I love it. Going home every once in a while is an option and puts me at ease.
I feel that transferring could be a viable option for you, but I suggest you seek counseling first. I am sure your school has a counseling center and they can really help you make a decision. It might be you need to be on medication to help. I am on medication and I feel wonderful. Before I felt like crap and now I feel like the person I was always meant to be.
Also scheduling visits home might be helpful to and something to look forward to or reward yourself with.
I would definitely seek out some help via counseling and tell them your thoughts. Trust me they have heard it all and it nothing to be ashamed of. I mean why else would there be a counseling center if they didn’t need it?
If you need any more help don’t hesitate to message me.
Best of luck in your future. </p>
<p>Thank you for replying. I decided that I would do counseling closer to my deadline if I still feel uneasy. The thing is I just got back from hanging out with my friend and I felt great. As soon as I said bye i started feeling miserable again. This is the problem I am facing because I love the moments we spend together but I don’t think thats enough of a valid reason to stick around. I definitely think I should talk to a counselor.</p>
<p>Dont move because your best friend is there. That is just…so…pathetic. Sorry. You have millions of students including me who goes to different schools as your best friends and you still find friends there…better friends. Leave. LEAVE. Get the heck out of there. Start fresh at a college where no one knows you and the location is completely new. It makes a difference subconsciously. </p>
<p>I left high school in the us to another high school in EGYPT and then went to a community college in New Jersey and then went to LSU the next year and now im going to the UNiversity of Oklahoma…</p>
<p>You think I didnt have to say bye to people?! Of course. Move on. get over it. Dont stay in one place. Its so boring (at least for me). Dont move because of ONE friend. </p>
<p>But anyway, if you still have a lot of general classes, go to your local community college where your parents are and focus on school. Then, go OUT OF STATE. leave. leave and leave…i dont understand ppl who are homesick. I will never understand them and cant say anything because i dont know how it feels to be that way, but all im saying is that it will be alright! Youll find new ppl there and new friends. Youll completely forget about your hometown, your parents and that friend who makes you feel better.</p>
<p>I think you should talk to a counselor sooner rather than later. I think that it will help and sometimes getting an appointment is hard. If you are feeling miserable after leaving your friend then it sounds like you might have depression. It isn’t normal to feel that way and you shouldn’t rely on your friend for happiness.</p>
<p>I strongly suggest you don’t put off a visit to your counseling center. Why wait when you are unhappy now?? Also, if you wait, and you get some ideas for action to take from the counseling center, you won’t really have time to implement those actions before the end of the semester.</p>
<p>Also, try searching this forum for others who have had difficulty when they first go off to college. Here’s an example of another thread you can read:</p>
<p>Hey there. I am in a similar situation OP. I attend a university about 2 hours away from home. This university is prestigious, large, and has plenty of opportunities in clubs, etc…However, I can’t help but feel that I don’t belong here, and that makes me incredibly homesick. It’s a typical college town, largely dominated by greek life and partying; neither of which I am relatively interested in as a fitness aficionado (despite having partying friends in High School). Anyways, I’ve decided that I don’t want to stay here; I’d rather be somewhere in the city/closer to home. I know I’m going to have to stick out the semester at least, and it’s going to be tough, but hopefully it’ll go by fast. I’ve also talked to a counselor because I was really struggling a few weeks ago (crying, depressed, helpless, etc…) and they tried to place me in Group Counseling, but I don’t think I need it anymore. Also, I discussed my feelings with my parents and that made me feel A LOT better. Point being, talk it out with someone. Containing these feelings only makes them worse, and even posting on here probably helped a bit like it did for me. </p>
<p>Long story short, here are my tips from someone in your shoes.
Talk it out with family, counseling, someone you TRUST.
If it doesn’t feel right, you should probably look elsewhere. - This holds especially true for me. Its hard to explain, I just have a weird feeling in my soul that this school is not for me. Regardless of its prestige, I’d rather be happy.
Set goals to look forward to/Think Positive - “Only _ more days until I get to go home!” (and study hard until these days come, because if you transfer you should have good grades) or “It’s already October, wow this semester is flying by!” By thinking positively, time seems to go by quicker. If you decide to leave after the semester, just think, there are only like 2 1/2 months of school (without breaks) left…not long at all, and if classes are picking up like mine are, time flies by even faster with the amount of work to do.
Exercise - This may sound weird, but it is a great way to relieve stress and kill time. </p>
<p>Finally, I have a question OP…Are you a very social person (in terms of partying, going out, etc…)? I’m wondering because I made the mistake of choosing a big party school when I am not that type of person. Hence, the situation I find myself in.</p>
<p>berkinson: I’m also in a large state school and I do like the campus (purely based on looks). I do feel like i could benefit in a smaller school which the one close to home is. Im not a very social person but the school is very divided based on where you live, and I chose the calmer area where there aren’t many parties. As for going our in general I don’t really like to unless its my best friend. thank you for all the advice it really helps.</p>
<p>@justabe1020 - Normally, I would agree with a lot of your advice, but I think it’s important to be sensitive to the obvious complex issues that are at work here. It is obvious that there are issues for this person that would make your suggestion, while an excellent one for you, your friends, and many others, a tad risky for someone who is facing other issues as this person seems to be, issues that you or your friends did not have to deal with. Calling someone pathetic isn’t helpful either. This person’s not pathetic, he/she just has a problem that is different from one you have faced. Besides, “snap out of it” probably never helped anyone. </p>
<p>@homesick – I agree with the other posters that you should seek immediate counseling before you make any decisions. I will add, however, that unless your mental and physical safety is at risk, you will have to at some point cope with being farther from home (unless there are a lot of opportunities in your home town). Your family is a bus ride (I am assuming) away and you do have a best friend there, so you are not completely starting from the beginning. But your first priority should be some of the counseling resources that your school has to offer.</p>