My boyfriend and I started dating in 2012. We dated until January of 2014, when I switched schools and moved 1000 miles away, thinking he would join me eventually.
As all relationships have, we had some problems. And the distance made it harder. It put a huge strain on our relationship and we didn’t last. We broke up for a year…which ironically I was told was the best thing I could do, because it would prove to the both of us if we wanted our relationship or not.
During that year we both dated other people, but neither of us were happy–we both wanted each other.
Finally, I swallowed my pride and admitted that I still wanted him, and we realized it was mutual.
We are now dating again, but left to go to our respective schools. We have been together for several months now, and I am pretty sure this is the guy I want to marry.
Because of this, I don’t want to regret missing out on two years with him (I’m a junior but have to finish some pre-medical prerequisites).
His school is cheaper, much closer to home (I’m very family-oriented and miss my family, as I only see them 2x a year), and I am responsible for paying for all of my schooling.
I wouldn’t be going down or up any tier, our schools are both state schools and are about equal.
My school is about double his size, and I don’t like how big it is; I don’t have personal relationships with my professors, and I live in a HUUUUGE city and feel overwhelmed (I’m from a super small town).
Obviously that’s not “everything”, but that’s basically the gist of it. We are both 20 and 22, and I guess I want unbiased opinions on whether or not I’d be doing the right thing transferring. I honestly had thought about transferring long ago, but now that I have more of a reason, and a school to go to, I feel like I really want to.
Honest opinions please!! Don’t forget that I’m not a high school senior afraid of losing my boyfriend or something haha.
It’s generally not a good idea to transfer your senior year. Colleges usually don’t want fourth year transfers so you could have a hard time being accepted. Also, you risk having to spend an extra year because of credits that don’t transfer or additional degree prerequisites. I suggest staying at your school to finish and then, if things are still going well, trying to find a medical school near where he’ll be. You’ll still get to spend summer and some breaks together I’m assuming.
It sounds like you’re scrapping up other reasons to transfer because you miss him, and you’re trying to convince yourself otherwise. Give yourselves some credit. If the relationship is serious enough for you to want to move back across the country for your last year, then it should be able to last a few months of distance, right?
I’m actually a 60 credit junior, so they do accept me. They accepted me almost immediately. I do really miss him, but it’s other things too. I need to do a lot of volunteering and shadowing…I don’t have those connections here. (I moved from the Midwest to the south)
I’m actually a 60 credit junior, so they do accept me. They accepted me almost immediately. I do really miss him, but it’s other things too. I need to do a lot of volunteering and shadowing…I don’t have those connections here. (I moved from the Midwest to the south)
I don’t know. I guess I’m just worried about what other people will think (it’s stupid, I know). I don’t think we would ever break up, but that is a possibility I suppose.
I’m just a really stubborn person. If I start something, I finish it. So it’d be a definite blow to my ego…I also might have to change majors, but it would benefit me a lot.
Try to put the question to yourself without regard of the fact that you would be closer to him than you are now. Is this transfer in your best academic interests? Will it further your career? Will it create less financial hardship since you plan on medical school? Will you be able to graduate in the same amount of time?
If your answers to these questions are positive then transfer. I am pretty sure that what is holding you back is that some people might think that you are transferring just to be near your boyfriend. You have to be convinced that that is not the case and then who cares what others think, you know you have made the decision for the right reasons.
@ PurpleTitan I’d have to change because they want me to get a BA over a BS which adds a ton of classes and detracts from what I’ve already done.
Yall have really made me think though, yall are great!
“which adds a ton of classes” = you’d have to spend an extra year at college.
Can you afford it?
Will be beneficial (more classes that counts toward premed pre-requisites or toward your major) or not?
Transfers tend to get lousy aid and unless you’re a Gates Millenium scholar, you’d lose your current scholarship: has the other school offered sufficient money for you to attend (taking on debt if you’re in contention for med school is a BAD idea.)
In addition, your GPA will start anew at the new school, BUT med schools will consider all courses taken: will that advantage or disadvantage you?
It’s help if we had an idea of the school caliber you’re talking about, and costs (ie., how much does each cost, subtracting only scholarships/grants from tuition/room&board, not subtracting loans or anything else.)
Yeah, definitely. Ok, I am switching from a state school to a state school. My family makes enough to where I don’t receive any financial aid, and my current school didn’t give me any scholarships. Neither school is super difficult to get into, but neither are easy to graduate from.
I would love to have a new GPA, actually, because I’m currently at a 3.5 and believe I can do a lot better. I was a transfer student initially when I transferred down here, so I didn’t receive aid to begin with. The state I am from has really high tutitions for all of their schools, so I did get several offers to get 25k+ off my tuition, but it left me with around 30k left to pay…it wasn’t worth it. Which is why I transferred. I didn’t consider this school that I am NOW considering, because I always thought I wanted to go far away to college, and then I realized that I didn’t at all. haha.
Room and board is about 400/mo versus the 700/mo I am paying now. Tuition now is around 20k/year versus 16k/year. The cost of living at this new school is much cheaper, in a smaller town (which i would prefer), and I have connections in the area for volunteering and job shadowing.
So, you’re fully pay and the other school is cheaper, so that’s +1 for the other school.
However, if you consider you’d have to spend 3 years there rather than 2, is it still cheaper? (Calculate 2 years at your current school vs. 3 years at the other school).
What do your parents think about this?
On the surface, it sounds like going to that other school is slightly better.
Final question: if you broke up with your boyfriend, or you found out he cheated on you at his university, would you still like to attend there? (This may sound cruel or ridiculous at this point, but it’s very important to think rationally about.)
If I switch majors, it will actually decrease my time a semester or even two (potentially). It SHOULD be cheaper but that’s a question I’m still waiting on. And yeah, I’ve thought about it too. My parents support it, and honestly, he isn’t the cheating type. I’m really lucky, and I’m not super worried, but even if that were the case, I’d rather be there. I’m closer to home and my family.
