Okay so before everyone gets all judgmental from reading the title, here’s some background information.
I am almost 22 and my boyfriend just turned 23. We are both from the same town and have been dating for over a year. We are each others best friend and have a very healthy relationship. We both went to our local community college, and he transferred last semester. We are currently doing a long-distance relationship and it’s going well in terms of trusting each other, but we long to be with each other. I am now in a position to transfer to a university and am having difficulty deciding between two schools.
Option 1: Go to a university in-state close to home; it has my major, but also very impacted, which means I could stay there longer (more money for tuition too) the courses are more clinical and less academic, which worries me because I want to go to PA school afterwards and I want to be fully prepared.
Option 2: Go to the university my boyfriend is at; it also has my major and the classes are all very academic as well.
They are both state schools, so it’s not like one is more prestigious. Option 1 is more well-known, but just in terms of it’s location. I have several factors to consider…
My happiness is very important to me. I want to be in a place where I feel like I am enjoying my life.
I am paying for my education on my own, no help from my family.
I am not on good terms with my immediate family for reasons I won't say, but being close to home is not a concern.
I have lived at the beach my whole life and experiencing the snow and mountains could be a fun adventure.
I have realized that we may break up. I am not simply going to his university to be with him, they also have a good program. However, I will admit that I looked into the college in the first place because he goes there.
In your honest opinion, which school is better for me? I think my happiness weighs a lot on my decision, but I do not want to make a blind decision. I have read both stories of success and failure with this type of situation, but most of the kids are fresh out of high school. Looking forward to polite, insightful responses. Thank you.
It sounds as though you’ve given it good thought. All things considered it sounds like you like BF’s school for the right reasons. The fact that you realize you and your BF may not stay together shows mature thought. I’m not sure if you’re planning to share an apartment with him but as a parent I wouldn’t consider it ideal. But I don’t know the two of you. If you want to go to his school go for it. Don’t put yourself in a financial position where you can’t afford to move out if things between you don’t work. Cough. I had to find a new roommate halfway through a school year once and it was painful. IMO though beach over mountains every time! Good luck!
Thanks so much for replying! I have put a lot of thought into this decision, but I am still very worried. I do not plan on sharing an apartment with him and would love to have an apartment through the school with female roommates.
You seem to have really thought it through, and there’s no huge advantage to the other school, so go where your heart is. As long as you’re still fine and good with the school if you 2 do break up, then go for it. I’d be more concerned for you if you 2 were planning to live together, but since you’re not, go get your man
If you are considering that you may break up, why mention he goes there in the first place? Even without mentioning him, option 2 seems like a better fit (even if your research could’ve been biased into making option 2 look like a better for just so that you would have a reason to go there).
If your boyfriend did not attend at that school (suppose that you don’t even have a boyfriend), would you still want to transfer to that school?
You clarified that your boyfriend isn’t the only reason to transfer, but it definitely seems to be the main reason.
You say that they’re both state schools, so there won’t be a difference in prestige. This is a very broad statement. University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, and Northern Illinois University are both state universities, and both in Illinois. One is very significantly more prestigious than the other though. The same could be said for many other states. There are a lot of great state schools in California, but in many fields, Berkeley has a far high level of prestige than the others.
It sounds like you’ve really thought about it. We are on the same boat with the family and the beach but he is trying to move closer to me because he has already graduated college.
There are a lot of factors when people decide to go to a university. Do you like the state? How do you react to change? Will you have friends there? Is it a big or a small campus? Do they have a good program? How much will it cost you mentally and financially? Are you trying to mend the relationship with your family? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? and OF COURSE how often are you going to see your significant other?
Its up to you. If you’re not happy at the end of the day with your decision its going to hurt you regardless doesn’t matter if you’re close to your boyfriend or not.
but he is trying to move closer to me because he has already graduated college.