My kid has been dismissed due to poor academic performance in last semester. I just want to accompany him not necessarily go in the meeting. Any sugesstions? thanks
Thanks for your resposne. Can you @BarbaraCruz please tell me what is meant by - If you go to this meeting do not bring an advisor.
which advisor are we talking about?
There is usually a letter that outlines in detail, in writing, what the student needs to do in order to return. I don’t think there is any need to attend or even be near the meeting but offering support afterwards is important.
I think Barbara Cruz means don’t bring any outside independent advisor you might contact to help your son get reinstated.
If you are in the area and want to support the student by attending the meeting, go ahead unless student wants to attend alone.
I would ask your student if they would like you to come and support them (and not attend the meeting ). Some kids would like that and some wouldn’t.
Is this a freshman? For a freshman to be dismissed this early means the semester was reallly bad
If it is a sophomore and above, how did they do up until now? What changed?
You will need to support your child…but also figure out what the issue is.
Wrong college? Too intense?
Wrong major?
Increase in the difficulty of the classes?
Girl/Boyfriend troubles?
Health issues?
Mental Health issues?
Drug issues?
Too much partying?
Too much sports/clubs?
Too much working?
Too much gaming or other avoidance behavior?
I have a friend who’s son started at Cornell. He was very into the robotics program, but not into his school work. He was also told to take classes elsewhere for a year. He went went to a local 4 year college, and after a year decided he would finish there. He now works in robotics at Amazon.
I know other kids who dropped out because of mental health issues, and another for undiagnosed Aspergers.
So talk to your son and tell him to find out what is expected for him to return. Make sure he is not falling in the trap of magical thinking…that he doesn’t have to do anything different and everything will magically be ok.
Also tell him that returning may or may not be the best thing. Support him but have expectations of him to do something (work, go to CC, get healthy, get mentally healthy, volunteer).
I would absolutely attend the meeting.
You need (IMO) complete understanding of the circumstances that led to dismissal, and the steps necessary for reinstatement (if that is your hope). You won’t get an exact recounting of everything from your child. Parents have the wherewithall to ask about refunds, credits, transcript notations, appeal options, etc., that your child may not.
Good luck. It is not that uncommon and your family can come out just fine. But you the parent must lead.
But with FERPA, you can only attend if your child allows you to.
And then if you did, i would still let your child take the lead as they are the one that has to do soemthing about it.
I think even with FERPA and an 18+ year old, the schools do have latitude (and probably willingness) to share information with parents in academic dismissal cases. See https://www2.ed.gov/policy/gen/guid/fpco/brochures/parents.html
I would imagine a child in this situation is withdrawn, ashamed, possibly even in crisis. This is precisely the time the parent needs to take the reins. Sitting out in the hallway is not supporting your child, IMO.
As I say, I hope and expect this situation can have a happy outcome in time, but it will take work.
What did you decide to do…and how did it all go?
While this may be one of the worst moments of your and your child’s life, it’s just another day at the office for most medium sized universities. Every semester they will get a list of students that will be dismissed and they’ll go through the due process motions to dismiss them. They normally have a route to re-admission.
Being a helicopter parent may do you more harm then good. Just tell the kid to be respectful, apologize and promise he’s going to work on his issues and try to do better. There’s not a lot more to it then that for an academic dismissal, (as opposed to a misconduct dismissal.)