I went to a pre-health professions program today at the college I will attend and 90% of the questions asked were asked by parents. It just seems like the parents are the ones who want to go pre-med. I’ve seen this phenomenon before and I’m always very turned off by it but I wonder what you all think.
I usually attend college events without my parents in tow (my choice). I do understand that you are paying for the college but honestly we are responsible, many of us are legal adults, and this is our future.
At the admitted student days we have attended my child went to the sessions of his choosing and I went to totally separate sessions. I think I only asked one question the whole weekend and it was pretty general about housing costs for future years. I sat through some of the academic area sessions and was surprised by the number of parent questions. At every session though there was 1 definite helicopter parent question though–like at housing will the RA call you if your child is sick 
I think it depends on the types of questions, but in general I don’t see a problem. Parents are part of the decision making process (at least in most cases), so they are likely to have questions too. What I do find to be a problem is when one dominates the session.
And, besides, did you see students who weren’t able to ask a question because a parent did? Probably not, so what’s the harm?
For both my D’s, the parents were in separate sessions from the students, so everyone got to ask the questions important to them. At any tours we were on, the questions seemed to be evenly split between parents and students.
OP, parents have questions of the schools they may be sending their kids to-I see nothing wrong with that unless as others have mentioned, they dominate the sessions.
@dcplanner EVERY tour/admitted students’ day I have ever been on, someone asks a variation of that helicopter question. At a session for my older D, one mom wouldn’t let it go and asked if someone reviewed the security cameras daily to make sure whoever left came back to their dorms and who would call the parents if they didn’t.
when i went to college in the 80s - my parents and i asked probably NO questions and it was all so new, exciting and a big mystery. My parents were completely un-involved. Today, i have lots of questions that i wish we would have asked back then; i’ve have had lots of time and experience to think about it all. I hope my kids still have the excitement; but maybe not as much of the mystery that i had.
Patents can see the gaps and risks a lot more clearly than students can. And the parents are often paying a LOT of money. I don’t blame them for doing plenty of due diligence.
And before admittance any parents feel it might reflect badly on their kid to ask questions. Some admissions officers subtly contribute to this feeling. . Then when admitted students days happen there may be a bit of pent up issues along with a feeling like " ok now WE are in the drivers seat so you can no longer make me feel that I shouldn’t ask questions."
I think parents have a right to ask some questions but not others. Parents can ask about financing and about anything to do with money. They shouldn’t be asking about the dining hall hours or the flavor of ice cream served. They might have questions about the medical coverage, but shouldn’t be asking about free birth control distribution.
My kids didn’t go to accepted students days, but I did go to orientation. Most of the parent questions were about logistics, getting g student to the campus, parking, fees for services. Much of the presentation was about ways students could be expelled (and thus parents lose money). Gun storage (yep, it is a real thing).
Then the students were taken away and parents could ask all the questions they wanted to, and some were dumb and others helpful.
Parents often think of questions that are helpful to their students, but that the students don’t even think to ask. Rather than looking at who’s asking, listen to the questions and answers.
I went to some sessions where many students really didn’t have any idea of the types of questions they should be asking, such as “how difficult is it to get into the classes you need?”
We didn’t got to any admitted student days with our kids. We figured at that point they had visited and the college had made the list for applications, the kids had applied and been accepted so the admitted visit was really more an affirming event for the kids that they had chosen the right place. However, along the way and leading up to the applications we had a question or two or three and asked and had them answered. For me it was about transportation and what far away kids do if they need to stay on campus for the short holidays like Thanksgiving. But then, I’ve sat in info sessions where some parents asked really good questions and other asked questions that probably could and should have been answered before the college even made the visit list and are answers that are probably on the website.
@sseamom “At a session for my older D, one mom wouldn’t let it go and asked if someone reviewed the security cameras daily to make sure whoever left came back to their dorms and who would call the parents if they didn’t.”
Tell us the truth. Did anyone laugh audibly? Or groan audibly?
Both should ask.
Before admittance, parents may feel inhibited from asking questions because it might reflect badly on the student.
After enrollment, parents may feel inhibited from asking questions (or even contacting college personnel about anything) because it might reflect badly on the student.
Neither of these situations applies at admitted students days. I think parents should ask as many questions as they like.