Should we let S take computer games to college?

<p>A parent we know sent his S off to college without any gaming systems or computer games. This was to encourage him to spend his time on other things.</p>

<p>We are thinking of doing the same thing because our DS is a game junkie. We're afraid he'll continue his pattern of spending a whole weekend day playing games and never stepping out of his comfort zone. On the other hand, he's 18 and has to take responsibility for himself. But if he had a drug or smoking habit, we certainly wouldn't send him off to college with drugs and cigarettes...</p>

<p>I'm sure he will still play games, but maybe in other people's rooms as a social atmosphere.</p>

<p>Of course, DS insists that gaming will have no effect on his study habits (which are not too great) or social interactions</p>

<p>Have any other parents been through this? any advice?</p>

<p>I certainly will not be letting my son take any XBox or computer games to college. We have had many major "issues" with these things over the years in our home, and my son has somewhat of an addictive personality. He is a high school sophomore now, but we have already talked about him not taking them to college. I'm sure he will play with other kids in their rooms, but at least it will not always be available to him.</p>

<p>reasonwhy, if he isn't taking his own tv, then gaming (other than on the computer) is likely to become a more social thing in any case, since he'll either have to reserve a communal tv, or make friends with kids who have tvs of their own, regardless of whether he takes his system(s).</p>

<p>H and I are huge trolls about tv anyway, so our kids have never had them in their rooms. D (the only one already in college, and an avid gamer though she doesn't fit anybody's profile of one) was completely fine with the notion that gaming would have to happen on different terms at school. It's become a very social thing for her. </p>

<p>That doesn't help at all with the computer games bit, but that's less of a problem for D (and her brothers) - the only thing that was ever a serious time-suck for her (and S1) was WoW, and that dried up when her gift subscription ran out and she had to pay for her own subscription.</p>

<p>There are some pretty nice games for PCs too. I assume he'll be bringing a PC to college. I'm not sure too much has been solved by denying him the xbox or whatever. Hopefully he'll move out of the HS gaming mentality (all games all the time) some people have and decide to do other things in addition once he's at school.</p>

<p>OTOH I wouldn't be buying him any video games.</p>

<p>Lovely plans, all. My son's roomate (this past freshman year) brought a 36" tv, huge stereo speakers and an xbox to their shared dorm room. I heard of at least two times that my son "slept-out" at a video store or showed up at midnight, to purchase a game the moment it was released. He took his Wii (purchased with his own $$) back after the mid-term holidays. And he plays pc-based games long-distance with his younger brother, regularly.</p>

<p>My point is that you can express disatisfaction with their intention to take/play games while at college, but I suspect that you will not have much actual success in totally preventing them from doing so. For what its worth, my son kept up his video gaming ways, while achieving a 3.8 gpa in a very competive engineering major, and participating in a variety of campus ECs. I'm good with his choices.</p>

<p>They can also download games...
I'm not banning S taking games with him (he plays on the computer anyway), but I'm sure we'll have a chat at some point about time management. He doesn't have a TV and the PlayStation is jointly owned with his brother --it's only gets used when they have friends sleep over anyway.</p>

<p>Why wait until he leaves for college? If you honestly believe he is addicted, and that the addiction has serious consequences, why not remove the gaming equipment from your house now? See how he does, and give him a chance to find other ways to cope if gaming is a coping mechanism or even just a way to relax.</p>

<p>Just had the conversation recently with S -- no TV or games for the first year (He was somewhat incredulous but didn't argue much). Can't control the roommate but we will not contribute to the technology poisoning. He spends too much time on them at home and although some games can be downloaded, the ones he plays on the computer require subscriptions and he doesn't have a credit card.</p>

<p>If he demonstrates good study habits and good grades after the first year, then we'll discuss it. I see no reason to send known distractions -- there will be plenty enough that we can't control. There is a TV in almost every residence hall floor lounge -- he won't be too deprived.</p>

<p>We did not self impose and restrictions on what our son chose to bring to college with him. He had good hs study habits and trusted him to continue that in college. He is now on the verge of graduation with a 3.75 gpa and all the gaming stuff. In addition he has added an electronic simulation arts/gaming minor to his dual compsci/cogsci major. And he is off to a great grad program in esa/gaming at USC .</p>

<p>The kid done good.</p>

<p>If he wants to play video games, he will. Treat him like an adult and let him make his own decisions.</p>

<p>I did tell my sons that they could not bring their gaming systems since in my opinion, college wasn't about sitting in a room on a computer or game system playing games. We didn't have a big fight about it - I just said no. My secretary's son flunked out of college, and she told me it was because he was addicted to gaming. </p>

<p>Yes, I know that my kids still play PC games...and there are a lot of kids who do have their game systems at school. I just didn't want to feel like I was a gaming junkie enabler LOL.</p>

<p>One of my kids has a roommate whose parents never let him play video or computer games. My kid has found his roommate on his computer whenever he's out of the room, playing his PC games. This roommate has also downloaded lots of games on his own computer too...and his grades show it even though he came into college with perfect SATs. Ultimately, each kid deals with the temptations of college in his/her own way.</p>

<p>S is a year away from college, and I've already told him his xBox is staying home, at least for the first term. We actually never let him have one until 6 months ago. Amazingly, his grades have actually gone up since then -- who knew? And, since he's looking at a possible gaming major/minor, I'm not sure it makes sense to deny it for 4 years. And obviously there will be other kids w/ systems at school.</p>

<p>Bottom line is: It depends upon the kid. Can he control it? Does he want to control it?</p>

<p>My eldest S was a HUGE gaming addict, but managed to get into a top school. In addition to being concerned about gaming interfering with his studies, we had concerns about it interfering with his ability to make new friends, since had a prior habit of hanging out with his online friends on the weekends rather than socializing.</p>

<p>We had a serious discussion with him about the gaming issue and, with his begrudging consent, actually purchased a Mac rather than PC laptop for him, since it would be incompatible with games requiring high resolution graphics. With his suitemates and dorm friends, they recently (end of first year of college) purchased a shared gaming system. Now, the addiction seems to be under control (or so it seems, based on his strong grades and self-report). He actually seems to appreciate gaming more (as if such a thing is possible), now that he has limited time for it.</p>

<p>"We have had many major "issues" with these things over the years in our home, and my son has somewhat of an addictive personality"</p>

<p>I could have written that sentence a couple of years ago. My son was addicted to WOW but actually gave it up on his own while in College. He said there was just to much to do to spend time playing games there. He was never much for the console games but bought a wii (with own money) last year and has a few games for it and plays that at college. Now a rising College junior, I don't worry about any of that stuff. We let him make his own choices and it turned out fine. I think. so far... :) </p>

<p>Our son was 19 when he went off to College, it seemed a little late to be giving ultimatums about what he could and could not do as an adult and on his own.</p>

<p>Rap_Mom - I think you're right that it ultimately depends on the kid. The kid that I thought had the biggest "addiction" to gaming seems to have reached a reasonable compromise with the amount of gaming that he does in school, is doing fine academically and socially, etc. I'm still not going to let him bring a family game console to college but hey -- it's his life, and if he's going to spend his hard-earned money on a console or games there's not a whole lot I can do about it. He's the one who's going to have to deal with the consequences when it comes to grad or professional school, if he got a B- instead of an A- or whatever.</p>

<p>His roommate, although a really smart kid, is out of control with gaming (I wonder if his parents will figure out why his grades don't reflect his ability over the summer, if he can't give up his new addiction when he goes home). I guess the same thing happens with kids who have access to alcohol, etc. for the first time. We can talk at them all we want, but if they want to do something at college they're going to be able to do it. I'm just not comfortable with packing up the game system and a pile of games any more than I'd be comfortable giving him a 6-pack, and I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. I'm the parent and have power over what I put in the car. Most of my power disappears when I leave the campus, unless I've exerted sufficient mind control from 18+ years of parenting so that they make good choices...</p>

<p>I wouldn't say DS was addicted to games at all, but he could play for long stretches at a time. He always got his work done and I figured he would in college too, so we put no restrictions. He says he plays a lot less in college because there are so many more interesting things to do.</p>

<p>If I am still trying to control their video game playing by the time they are adults, I did not do the job raising them that I had wanted to.</p>

<p>Sheesh. You think not letting him bring those chattels are going to cut down on games? Any college student with a gaming bug will be able t download games upon games on his computer. My kid came home with three hard drive supplements loaded with movies and games from college. They get stuff that isn't even out yet, don't ask me how. It's just more junk they can lose or break if they bring it so you may not have it for home any more. </p>

<p>3bm103, I am one of the many parents who did not do the job raising them that we wanted to do.</p>

<p>3bm103, I am one of the many parents who did not do the job raising them that we wanted to do.>></p>

<p>It's a big club, cptofthehouse, and I'm a charter member. :)</p>

<p>"...If I am still trying to control their video game playing by the time they are adults..." then I need to get a life. Or do more shopping.</p>