Son is incoming freshman.
Video game is not played on a TV, it’s the Nintendo Switch, a hand held device.
IF your S or D is a video game player, would you not allow them to take it to college? I don’t know what to think? Maybe don’t allow it for the 1st semester, but 2nd semester is OK if they do fine in school? I’m just worried that he’ll be wasting valuable time on the game. Time that he’ll need to get acquainted to his new environment. Would appreciate your thoughts.
Thanks,
Our S hosted game nights in his room with a Switch. They had fun - good way to decompress.
I’m torn about this. I know of several kids who gamed their way right out of college, but I’m not sure confiscating your son’s device is the answer. I’m pretty sure kids who are addicted to gaming will find alternatives if they don’t take their own device to school (borrow, school owned, switch to PC games etc).
Like everything, it depends. Is your son capable of self-regulation with the Switch now? Does he get his work done without you having to nag him all the time to get off the Switch (or other distractions)?
If he isn’t yet able to self-regulate, I would wait and see how he is doing after a semester without it. If he is ok on that front, let him take it.
You should have no illusions, though - even if he doesn’t bring his own, he will play with other people. It can be a really good thing socially and stress-wise, so long as it doesn’t take over.
I always considered going to college an excellent opportunity to start treating your child as an adult that can decide how to spend his/her time without my interference. Although I am always there to give advice on request, I try really hard to not interfere with their life after high school.
Am I a minority?
No. But given that the OP’s son failed several classes as a HS senior, they are right to be concerned.
Thanks for the context that was missing from the original post. That’s a tough choice. It also makes it very hard for people that don’t know his son to give good advices.
Context is everything. While my S hosted game nights, he did so only when studies would allow. He also hosted movie nights when studies would allow. Having priorities is key.
I think there is no way to control how a college student, living outside of your house will spend their time. So it is better to accept that fact instead of assuming that the parent-child dynamic will be the same as when they were in high school.
P.S. I have to say that I have no clear idea how my older son spent most of his nights in college, but game/movie nights are definitely harmless compared to many other options.
My son brought a 27 inch monitor and his Playstation or whatever they call it… Lol. He used it to watch Netflix and yes played internet sports league games. This is /was his decompresor as someone stated. He was in a very hard program. But we still had a talk with him about. Were parents, we are supposed to be concerned. If your son failed classes in high school, then it’s important for him to know about “All” the services your school has for him to be successful. I told my kids, why do you think they have writing, language, math and science labs and centers at like every college out there. It’s NOT for all the OTHER kids. We are paying for it and it’s free so go use ALL the services to make you successful plus office professor hours, TA sessions etc. Once they actually went to one of the above and they were surprised how many kids were using these services… It’s scary going the first time but after that it’s not. With all the services including mental health, It’s a shame when a kid can’t make it through.
But, they have help with time management. He just needs to be upfront about the gaming. Just because your homework is done doesn’t make it OK to game to 3:00am… Try to have an open but honest conversation with him and have him reach out to set up an appointment at the learning centers /disabilities if he has an IEP or 504.
I generally agree, but if the parents are paying, I think it is reasonable for them to confirm their money is being put to good use.
Our S didn’t bring electronic distractions and they were good that way until room mate and his mom bought them a TV for their dorm room. Oh well—can’t really control room mate. It turned out ok.
Sounds like OP’s bigger issue is to work on time management and prioritization with their student.
Totally agree that 18 year olds have adult responsibilities and should be treated respectfully. For some, the developmental timeline of executive functioning/self-regulation/time-management is more delayed, and research shows age 25 is when the brain fully develops.
Gaming can be addictive to certain people, just like drinking etc, but it can also be a common interest used to make social connections. Whether you send a full on gaming system to college or not, the kid down the hall will have one, plus there’s social media, online gaming etc. If it’s going to happen, it will happen.
I wonder if the solution is getting busy, having a job, joining clubs, taking cool classes etc? I hear and echo your concern 
He’s going to play games whether he takes his own or has to find others to use theirs (or some schools have game rooms or allow them to be checked out).
I think I’d make an agreement for him to only play X number of hours per day/week and see how he does. Make sure he understands that staying in college requires him to make progress, have good grades, etc. You have to trust him.
My kids never played video games in high school but one started playing more in college. It was a social thing but it did become addictive. It is a time suck, that’s for sure.
S21 brought his switch to school and one of his roommates brought a PS. It seems to serve them all well as a stress reliever and social opportunity time. S said their suite/room is a social hangout and it’s been helpful in meeting people and everyone supporting each other.
So we are thankful that it has been used in positive ways and not overly used.
I know several kids who view video game systems as kiddie toys. They pay PC based games and often times run complex systems will multiple computers. One of my son’s roommates picked his room location in the house they rented based on the ability to have a wired connection to their modem (lag with WIFI was unacceptable to him).
Whether your kid takes a video game to college will only be part of the equation in terms of distraction potential for video games. Could also be something of a rebellion factor involved if you block him from taking it. You can always find distractions in college. Can be video games. Can be drinking. Can be playing sports. Someone will always just have had a test, broken up with a girlfriend, have a birthday, etc. and will be looking to blow off steam. You can participate in that but not every time. And if there is an addictive personality which sacrifices life for video games, seems likely banning video games likely leads to another addictive activity to take its place.
I think I would have a direct and firm conversation with my kid about all of these distractions. Tell the kid they will need to spend more time studying in college than they did in high school. Stakes are higher now. And then monitor progress. Don’t wait for the end of the quarter/semester to see how things went. Monitor test/quiz results.
Good luck.
If my kid had a known issue with it… no. Why make it so easy to do. It would be like leaving a binge drinker with a stocked liquor cabinet.