<p>It should depend on the situation and the childs career goals/area of interest to study</p>
<p>One of the elephants in the room here is parental (and to a lesser extent student) bragging rights. “My DS/DD is at xxxx!” Usually said with a nose slightly in the air with a condescending attitude towards student that attend institutions without the cachet. </p>
<p>It’s totally true.</p>
<p>AlmaPater, </p>
<p>“Almost gave me a heart attack at the time he made his decision, until I realized it was his heart that mattered, not mine.”</p>
<p>Bravo to your S. Many of us, as parents, influence our kids’ decisions inadvertently when we voice our opinions (big public schools have professors that don’t care or small LACs don’t have enough diversity or ivies/top ranked schools=top earnings+where you find the “best” kids). We all know instances when all of these generalizations are false. </p>
<p>Something to think about… most kids end up loving where they go to school because they form wonderful friendship, have lovely memories, develop loyalty to the institution that is shaping them. Both H and I got into ivies/MIT and the likes, could not go (FA were not as generous in those days), grumpily went to state school determined to hate it. We met and found a great group of people and by the time we graduate, we would not trade our college experience for anything.</p>
<p>Daughter is a freshman this year and chose the full ride over the highly ranked school. She passed on school x which is ranked in the top 10 nationally and school y ranked in the top 20. She literally decided at the very end of April. 6 months in she is very content with her decision. The thought of paying $250,000 when she could go to school for free was what finally got her in the end. She is planning on med school so decided not to spend so much money on undergrad. What her opportunity cost is we will never know. </p>
<p>She also happens to be a varsity athlete and had to go to a meet at school x last month. Her whole team was saying “wow it is so beautiful here, can you imagine going here” All she kept saying was it costs a quarter of a million dollars. lol. She didn’t seem to have any regrets. </p>
<p>The statement about parental pride is true though. When people ask where she decided on school I have to stop myself from adding “but she got into school X and school Y but took the full ride instead.” That would just be my ego at work. </p>
<p>She has all ready signed up to do a study abroad in South AFrica next summer which we could not have afforded to do if had chosen another school. That a bonus too!</p>
<p>In my state (NC), the public options are overall strong and relatively inexpensive. From an educational standpoint, there is no reason that most students would need to go to a private college or university. From a financial standpoint, that is true as well. UNC is around $18,000/year for tuition and fees, room, and board. Those costs at the “elite” private universities/colleges in NC are roughly: Duke, $56,000/year; Wake Forest, $54,000; and Davidson, $52,000. I’ve known plenty of people who had substantial scholarship offers ($30,000+) to one or more of those private schools, but they still were financially better off going to UNC or another public univerisity. Many middle class families decide that it would not be financially advisable to pay their expected contribution to schools that “meet all need”. Not many of the top students in NC even apply to those three schools, and of those who apply and are accepted, many choose not to attend.</p>
<p>Are there any other reasons to consider a private college? Certainly. Many of the students in my children’s classes want a religiously-affiliated college. (By the way, in NC, those schools tend to give much more generous aid than the more “elite” schools.) Other students want to study in a specific program at a private school (Gardner-Webb’s major in American Sign Language is a good example). Moreover, any student who has a strong desire to work on Wall Street should check out Duke.</p>
<p>Of course there’s always fit. Some students fall in love with an expensive private school. If their parents can afford it without going into massive debt, great! (It keeps my friends who are faculty and staff members at those universities employed. 
) However, I would not advise most middle-income parents to go that route.</p>
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<p>For all the talk about that on CC, I’ve never actually met anyone who has bragged about their child’s college while putting down someone else’s; however, I have met people who are quick to tell me what a waste of money my kid’s colleges are and that they are no better than the state school anyway.</p>
<p>The nice posts above, exemplify why taxguy’s blanket advice is not practical for most people, and is therefore of little value. If one’s “cheap” option is a pretty good school, then of course some thought ought to go into the decision. But choosing the cheapest possible option above all others, assumes that there is no value in attending a “well known expensive private” at full cost. It assumes that there are no qualitative differences among colleges. If this is your belief, then great, your decision will be easy.</p>
<p>Taxguy believes there are “nice” cars and “nice” weddings and property worth spending one’s money on (for bragging rights, I’m sure ;)), but there are no colleges worth paying extra money for.</p>
<p>Gourmetmom, You must have met nicer people than I have. Many won’t put down another college because it is rude but dropping names of where their kids are going (or where they went) to college is common. I have people consoling me that my kids are not going to the ivies, etc… Some are so obnoxious that when I tell them where the kids are, they asked questions like, “Isn’t that school known as a party school?” or " Why would they choose that school? (in the most denigrating fashion)" or “I see that they would want to stay in the midwest” or my favorite, “The kids did the best they can and I’m sure that they will get a good education there”</p>
<p>If my retirement is fully funded and I know that I can maintain this middle class lifestyle, pay for grad/professional schools if needed, then I would tell the kids to go wherever they like. Since I am not so fortunate to have all those in place, I advise my kids to look at their options carefully since we can only help out so much. Many will feel differently about their responsibility for schooling beyond undergrad. I applaud everyone that is putting their money where their mouth is and placing education as a priority. Even though, we choose other options, it doesn’t mean we value education any less.</p>
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<p>Such people are boors. Why would you take them seriously? Why would you have any other response other than mentally rolling your eyes and excusing yourself from further conversations? People say stupid things all the time; that doesn’t obligate you to be “hurt” by them. Consider the source. If you’re happy with your kid’s college choice, isn’t that the bottom line?</p>
<p>Taymis - I 100% agree! My dd was going to apply to a couple elite schools but decided against doing so. She told me there was no use in spending the money to apply if she wasn’t going to go. I asked her if she didn’t want to be able to say “well I am going to X on a great scholarship but I turned down Y” and she told me I was ridiculuous! I guess at that moment she was more mature than her mother!!!</p>
<p>Not “hurt” at all. I’m too old for comments like those to have any effect. Always happy to gather data and anecdotes but mean, thoughtless remarks just roll right off.</p>
<p>Some posters have share stories of other rude comments about their choice to pay for schools and turning down good financial offers. Just the flip side of other snooty comments. And, yes, definitely mental eye rolling.</p>
<p>krug,
I think you should come up with a standard come-back line for those types of comments. Like, “obviously, my children are no where near as brilliant as yours,” with a nice big smile.</p>
<p>Bay notes,“The nice posts above, exemplify why taxguy’s blanket advice is not practical for most people, and is therefore of little value.”</p>
<p>Response: Talk about blanket responses! Are you the same guy as “Whistleblower?” I get the same feel from your posts, although they are a bit more gentile.</p>
<p>Again, I didn’t give advice here other than don’t generally incur over 100K, and preferably over 50K in undergrad debt if you can avoid it. My original post, and I quote said, " Just something to think about." It was NOT designed to give advice as I noted in another post in this forum.</p>
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<p>Yes, and it assumes that 30 years of juried research that supports exactly that view has more validity than the myth that prestige and cost correlate with educational quality.</p>
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<p>Yes, annasdad, we know. My D will end up doing just as well in life, whether she attends Yale or Cal State Los Angeles, but the resources, calibre of students, alumni connections, football games and dorms at each college will be qualitatively different. That has value to me and I can afford to purchase it, so I do.</p>
<p>Annasdad,</p>
<p>What juried research are you referencing? The only studies I know use an imperfect approximation of outcomes at various schools by comparing cross admits with the same SAT scores (ie 1300 at Harvard v. 1300 at State U) and how much income they are earning at some later period in time. In addition to assuming that the SAT is a proxy for merit and income a proxy for success/educational quality, there are so many other variable that I am not sure how any such research could be reliable. </p>
<p>Instead, this might be an appropriate place to look at the market of college students and their parents and the significant weight many place on attendance at top schools, which has lead to 30K plus applications at the Ivies and a huge test consulting/prep industry.</p>
<p>Bay, I might get being willing to pay extra if money is no object for Yale caliber of students, alumni connections , but Yale football or basketball?</p>
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<p>Thanks for asking.</p>
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<p>The quoted source is a summary of nearly 2,500 studies from the 1990s, expanding on nearly 2,600 studies from the 1970s and 1980s summarized by the same authors in Volume 1 (1991). Not all of those focus on the issue at point, but several dozen do.</p>
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<p>Yes, myths are very powerful. The takeaway is that academic researchers have been searching for years for evidence to support the myth - that prestige and cost correlate with quality. They have found none. They HAVE found evidence that there is a SMALL lifetime economic advantage to attending one of the top 2% of colleges (ranked on the basis of selectivity) - but that advantage is nowhere nearly as large as the mythmakers claim, and it is limited to careers in a very few fields.</p>
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<p>Maybe I’m getting my point across at last!!!</p>
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<p>So you’re agreeing with Pizzagirl that high-prestige colleges are luxury goods?</p>
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<p>sevmom,
I was comparing Yale with CSULA, which has <em>no</em> football team. Plus, Harvard-Yale is a unique experience. I’d call it a bucket list item.</p>
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<p>What do you mean by “luxury” goods? Something I don’t need? It depends what one is looking for in a college. If all I care about is acquiring collegiate-level knowledge in history, then sure, it makes no difference where I go to college, I can even do it online, so that would make paying at all for college a “luxury.” That is not what I am looking for, though. I’m looking for a certain environment in which to acquire that knowledge of history over a 4-year period, along with a credential that will help me get a job. I can’t find that online.</p>