Shy and in College

<p>Ok, so I'll start my first year in college this Fall.</p>

<p>I'm a bit worried/nervous/anxious, etc. I tend to be a shy guy, although not terribly so, but nonetheless a bit, well, less-than-social. I don't play any sports, and quite frankly, don't have any interesting interests. I like history and politics and that's about it. I've heard all over this board that college students make their first friends through a commonality of interests. The commonality my current friends and I have, in my opinion, is a lack of having an interests at all... </p>

<p>How do shy people make friends in college? Or are they just miserable for 4 years? :-P</p>

<p>Trust me, when you get there, you will have NO PROBLEM fitting in. The only people that I've seen have it bad are people who've missed home wayyyyyyyy too much and people who loved high school wayyyyyyy too much. Just remember to stay open minded about everything and speak your mind!</p>

<p>Depends on what you mean by "shy". I've met plenty of people who tell me that they're shy and I would have always thought that they were at least normal, if not outgoing, if they hadn't told me that. I'd say that if you were able to make friends in high school (new friends, not just hanging on to old ones from childhood or something), then you'll probably be ok in college because it's kind of just more of the same. Just try to be quick about it, because I found that most people seemed to establish their groups of friends pretty quickly (for me, anyway) and after that they weren't really interested in meeting any more new people. If you don't make friends at the same speed, you end up getting left behind and then it becomes more difficult.</p>

<p>Spend some time checking into organizations at your school that sound interesting to you. Sometimes people really click with others from their dorm, but that's not always the case. By really forcing yourself to go to the meetings of things that sound interesting to you, you'll probably find others like you. Keep in mind that college gives you the opportunity to break out a little from what your hs classmates have always considered you. (If you suddenly started acting "not shy" now, everyone would probably wonder what you were up to!) College is a big opportunity to maybe make yourself try some new things that you wouldn't have done before. It worked for me (a billion years ago when I went to college).</p>

<p>Well, I do talk, although I'm more or less "reserved." I'm an introvert, definately.</p>

<p>Anyone have any experiences with this?</p>

<p>Hey kev07wan,</p>

<p>I've been in college for almost one year now and consider myself to be somewhat shy. I had the same worries as you going into this thing...wondering if i was going to make any friends at all. In spite of my introversion I have managed to make a few friends so far, not anyone that I've hung out with outside the class room though. Its ok I guess, however I often find myself wishing I was back in highschool. I miss my old friends alot. But dont get down because I more/less failed socially at University, I'm sure you'll do much better than I did =).
Good luck dude.</p>

<p>Lol, we're on the same boat =] I don't think it matters whether you make friends or not....I mean my purpose here is to get my degree and get out.....but it's good to meet people once in a while, especially if you might intend to miss class for an emergency or.....meet people in your field of study to know more since they have more experience. That's what I do.</p>

<p>^^what a terrible perspective. I can promise you will learn far more important things outside the classroom.</p>

<p>one day shy people will rule the world</p>

<p>just don't be afraid of new experiences, people are fine with quiet people, just not wet blankets. you'll b fine</p>

<p>lol ^^ up there</p>

<p>You have strengths--play to them. First, try a couple of things that will be within your comfort zone--at the beginning of they year, go to a couple of meetings of clubs that are an extension of your interest, for example, a political or community action organization, and volunteer for one or two committees so that you have a commitment to continue your involvement--the friends will come over time from the continued involvement, not just from a one time appearance at an organizational meeting.</p>

<p>Then do a couple of things to stretch yourself. Join an intramural sport team with kids on your floor or in an organization you have joined elsewhere--you don't have to be athletic to do this. Do something like broomball or dodgeball or innertube waterpolo. Volunteer for the social committee of your dorm--it's a good way of making sure some of the activites are to your liking.</p>

<p>Most of all, just relax and enjoy.</p>

<p>College is a new start in life. For everyone. A time to re-invent if desired. There are many clubs and organizations that you have never tried before. You may find new interests. Don't be afraid to try out stuff. Sign up for many things, get on all the list-hosts, and you will get emails about activities. Could be rock-climbing, or College Democrats, language club, debate team. Work part-time at the fitness center. Join in community service type activities.</p>

<p>Do you know what school you are attending? Go to their activities and clubs website and check out the offerings. You will be fine. Don't go with pre-conceived notions of being bored or lonely. Some kids thrive in large groups, others are perfectly happy with a few close friends.</p>

<p>kev,</p>

<p>i'm an introvert too and i loved school. i somehow got to know everybody. I met my boyfriend in college and he's very introverted as well. He actually won the award for shyest in high school. (whatever those awards are called). If you get assigned group work, just try to make friends with the people in your groups.. chances are you'll have something in common since you're taking the same classes.</p>

<p>One club i really liked was habitat for humanity.. it attracted all kinds of kids and i made a lot of friends for that.. plus you got to build houses which is awesome. </p>

<p>maybe your major will have a club of its own or something like that.. just look around, i'm sure you'll find something to do.. and where there is something to do, there are people to do it with.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>Thanks! I certainly look forward to college, hoping to make new friends, etc. I guess I'm a bit hesitant, seeing as it could not turn out as well as anticipated.</p>

<p>More often than not, being shy and reserved is gonna keep you safe. There are some truly horrifying people out there that you don't want to meet.</p>

<p>haha</p>

<p>i'd say about 10% of the world is completely, off the wall insane and/or horrifying beyond reason.</p>

<p>
[quote]
^^what a terrible perspective. I can promise you will learn far more important things outside the classroom.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>lol what is your major? i hear people say this all the time and usually crack up laughing (maybe they need more work?)</p>

<p>anyone who tells you everyone is happy in college is either lying, delusional or misinformed; and the same goes for anyone who says everyone is happy</p>

<p>I agree with the people who say to join organizations that match your interest. Then, sign up and participate on committees that require you to work with others. Often committees that require work are the least popular and attract the people who are most interested in the organization, so those people have a lot in common, do a lot of things (committee work) together and end up becoming lifelong friends.</p>

<p>At the beginning of freshman year is the best time to check out organizations and choose one or two to join. Most organizations will be recruiting new members and will welcome freshmen with open arms. It will be fine to be shy and not to be that knowledgeable about the subject -- as long as you're willing to show up and learn.</p>

<p>Do not only check out organizations that your roommate is checking out. It's fine to go alone. No one will snicker or anything if you go by yourself. College is more like the adult world: People don't need to buddy up to go to places like professional and other organizations.</p>

<p>If you make the mistake that I did in college -- waited until I found people to go with me to organizations I wanted to check out -- you may spend a couple of relatively friendless miserable years instead of relatively quickly finding people who have lots in common with you. </p>

<p>And there's nothing wrong with being an introvert or being shy. Indeed, I've seen research that says that most people like shy people more than they like aggressively gregarious people. It can be a good idea, however, to tell people that you're shy so they realize that you're shy and they don't think that you dislike them. Most people -- even outgoing ones -- are a bit insecure, and can easily misinterpret shyness for dislike.</p>