<p>My son is a High School Senior. Shy, Good looking,Smart kid, good ACT score, decent grades. Has had only 1 gf, not much luck with girls, or friends. A bit socially awkward. He gets bullied some, he's a little wimpy in the sense that he won't take up for himself & everyone knows he won't do anything (although he's 6'2" 210 lbs), kind of a gentle giant.
There's a junior college in our home town which we have decided he will go to. I'm seriously reconsidering this because It will be the same kids with the same crap again. The jr college has a gateway program 45 minutes away in a much bigger town with a university. He can still enroll in the jr. college in the other town with all the smaller classes but have benefits of the university students (football games, residential life, etc). He gets down that he doesnt have friends or a gf. My fear is that he gets there & goes crazy wild & flunks out. As opposed to staying in town where we can keep an eye on him. As I am typing that last sentence, I am cringing. My husband tends to treat him like he's 12. Any opinions?</p>
<p>I don’t think that you should be worried of him doing worse being further away from home. I would probably recommend that he go away just because it is kind of like a new start away from the people who he doesn’t really get along with.</p>
<p>Is this a serious post?</p>
<p>Thanks Millhouse, I am thankful for your quick response. You r probably right, being away from home probably won’t matter. Thanks alot</p>
<p>What’s not serious about it?? You think I’m just out here wasting my time and yours for the heck of it? Do you have any helpful input or not?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>She was probably referring to this:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>which, IMHO, is a pretty silly fear. I think your son would benefit from going away to the larger university. There’s going to be a larger variety of people, and therefore he’ll have an easier time finding friends, etc.</p>
<p>^ there are many of what we call “■■■■■■” on this forum. “■■■■■■” often write controversial, outrageous, or incredible threads.</p>
<p>i say go away for sure. a new environment is always good.</p>
<p>Thank you goldenratiophi for clearing that up for me & I guess it is true that if there are more people then it will be easier finding friends. </p>
<p>mulberrypie: I did not know what a ■■■■■ was, lol. A new environment may be just what he needs. Thanks</p>
<p>What does HE want to do? That’s the most important thing. From the limited info you have shared, I personally think he would probably be better off farther away from home (and especially from a father who babies him), but you certainly should not push him that way if he’s uncomfortable with that idea. </p>
<p>If he has decent grades and test scores, he’s obviously a bright young man. Give him a chance to mature and find himself. Having the opportunity to start all over – in a place where no one knows him – lets him reinvent himself. And being just 45 minutes away, you would still be able to keep in close contact with him (if and when both of you want that).</p>
<p>I think he should go far and start anew. This is coming from a strange, socially awkward kid.</p>
<p>Oops, sorry, I just needed that clarified. In that case, definitely go with the gateway program. Going away will help him mature and branch out – it’s probably tempting to keep him in town so you can keep an eye on him, but eventually he will have to emerge out into the real world. Just remember that you’ve done the best you can, and you’re giving him that, which is a lot. :]</p>
<p>+1 for ask him what he wants to do</p>
<p>“As opposed to staying in town where we can keep an eye on him.”</p>
<p>Honestly, college (although a cliche) is the time to explore the world for yourself and find your niche. You really can’t do that if you’re tied down to your hometown with your parents.</p>
<p>He should make the decision-and I hope he opts to get away and have no one keep an eye on him.</p>
<p>i say if its what he wants, let him leave the town… it doesn’t help shy people if they get to hide behind mommy and daddy and have their parents keep daily tabs on them…i’m considering a school that i wouldn’t normally have picked just so i can get out of my parents reach…not that i’m implying i’m a trouble maker, i just want to learn some independence. </p>
<p>give your kid a break and let him do what he wants…he’ll have to learn how to be in society eventually… there’s no hiding-under-rocks in this country.</p>
<p>WOW! Seriously, Thank you to everyone with your replies. Sometimes you cant see the forest because of the trees…Real eye opener. Thank u all.</p>