<p>I have three kids, one in his second year of college, one who just started this year and my daughter who will be going next year, yes they are all one year apart!
I have come this far so I think I will make it however am in a crisis with my current son who is a college freshman. A little background, he suffered from social anxiety disorder about a year ago and was being treated for it prior to going to college, no medication just behavioral therapy. It is helping but it is slow going. I wish we would have had 6 more months to continue intensive therapy.
The first few weeks things were fine but this last week has been rough, he has somewhat regressed and along the way discovered he does not want to study business after all! He is in a top business school and the college that he attends is structured so that you actually apply to that particular college. I have no idea what is involved in switching schools and/or majors within the first semester. So in addition to trying to address the disorder, we are now duly faced with this major problem.
He is coming back home this weekend, to address this issue with his father and I, does anyone have any experience particularly with a child who suffered from social anxieties or fears and one who has switched majors or schools within a college?
If so I would love to hear about your experiences. I know one way or another we will and can work this out, but this has ME feeling quite anxious right now.
I have never understood this because my husband and I are very outgoing, as are the other 2 kids, but for some reason despite being a social and extremely well liked kid, this last year was rough. Many did seek him out and still do but he is not comfortable in very social settings yet. We are getting there.
Would love to hear from any parents or students who have been in similar predicaments.</p>
<p>Could it be that his shyness or however his anxiety manifest itself is related to the fact that he is changing his mind about what he is majoring in? Perhaps finding out how he transfers out of the business school and into a more general program while he decides what he wants to major in will help his shyness or anxiety and give him to breathing space to grow and develop his interests. I would guess most of the people he comes in contact with on a day to day basis are probably connected to the particular biz school he is in. Not knowing what one wants to major in is not unusual for college freshman, he is in the majority not the minority. Also is he a "young" freshman and what is the general median age of the kids he's in classes with?...if they are older it may be compounding his feelings socially.</p>
<p>Are there core requirements that will be the same whether he's in the business school or the college at large? Or are there courses in the business school which could be used to meet distributional requirements for the college at large? If so, it seems like it might be a good idea for him to take those more general courses that he can use regardless of what he ultimately majors in. He could then focus on the social anxiety disorder and once he has that under control, make his decision about the major.</p>
<p>It is awfully common to want to switch majors. My guess is that it would be easier to get out of the business school than to get into it a second time if his interests change again. That's why I wonder if it is better to concentrate on the anxiety first--plus controlling that will make everything else easier to deal with. Those are just thoughts that come to mind; I'm no expert.</p>
<p>I don't know what school your son is at and each school is different. At Cornell, where there are many different schools (business, hotel, architecture, A&S, engineering), it is not that difficult to transfer between schools as long as you have good GPA. A school like Columbia, it is hard to transfer from engineering to A&S because they try to discourage kids from "gaming the system" and their core requirements are probably different. Have your son speak with his advisor, it may not be that difficult. He may feel better if he knows he has options.</p>
<p>Switching schools can be diffcult, but rarely impossible. At worst, he may have to commit to an extra year or so of school if the core requirements are extensive and don't overlap. </p>
<p>I agree that your son should speak with his advisor. Encourage him to figure out the process on his own (i.e. don't let him sit back while you do all the research). And I agree that he should try to apply to the most general college, since changing your major is very frequent. At least with more general majors, you're not limiting yourself as much if you decide you want to go into a different field.</p>
<p>It's my understanding that a majority of kids will change their majors at LEAST once in college. I wouldn't think it would be that hard this early in the game. </p>
<p>No experience with social anxiety disorder but I bet it is a challenge heading off to college while trying to deal with it. Good luck and warm wishes to you and your son.</p>
<p>Has your son discussed this with his advisor? If not he should do so soon. I am sure the advisor has dealt with this many, many times before and will be able to lay out all of his options in a clear manner.
I do agree with others who said that dealing with his ongoing anxiety is essential. Has he made an appointment with counseling services at school? He might benefit from seeing someone regularly during what is often a difficult adjustment period. Another possibilty is that he could have phone sessions with his therapist from home (assuming he is happy with that therapist).
It will all work out! It just doesn't feel good while it is happening.<br>
This is the time for your son to realize that taking advantage of all of the resources offered by the school is the smart thing to do. That is why they are there!</p>
<p>He has only been in school for a month. I think it's much too early to decide to change majors unless the coursework is just much too difficult for him. Could you encourage him to stay the course for this semester, and make a decision when it's over?</p>
<p>By the way, I can relate. My 23 year old married D has generalized anxiety disorder. She and her soldier H live in Germany and her cousin came to visit for a month. They were supposed to take trip to London this next week, but D woke up with a "sense of impending doom" about the trip, so she canceled the whole thing.</p>
<p>The change of majors thing frankly is not bothering me nearly as much as the anxiety about socialization. I have reasearched and found doctors who specialize in this in his city where he attends school. (Thankfully he is in a big city) He felt strongly about not going to someone on campus which would have made things so much easier, he is just closed to it right now but I am really hoping that he will be a little more open to it. Time will tell..........it just breaks my heart to think of him not meeting new friends the way everyone else is.
It makes me so sad to think of him being sad. He is actually coming home today as I thought it was a good idea to talk about things and thought it will help him to feel more secure coming home and knowing this as a "safety net" where he is always welcome.
In my heart I feel it will work out, but it is so upsetting to the parents watching this unfold.
I have told him he must stick things out as far as being in the B.school until the first semester ends, we can reassess his position afterwards. I think also as someone above said some of the anxiety about his school and major choice are more about his anxieties socially. I think once he feels comfortable socially he will be much more comfortable about at least giving the B. school a fair shot.</p>
<p>Maybe I'm wrong, but those people I know who have gone to business school, especially those interested in business as undergrads, are for the most part, very outgoing, social and socially adept individuals. It's possible that your son's anxiety is exacerbated by the personalities of the other students he has classes with. Why does he want to be a business major? Is this really a good choice for student with social anxiety issues? Maybe your son is feeling that his major doesn't mesh with his personality. Be sure to listen to his reasons for wanting to change majors. I think I would make sure that he knows you support whatever choice he makes.</p>
<p>I know some young people with social anxiety who have been helped by medication... just another options to consider.</p>
<p>It's unlikely your son will commit into a regular therapy regimen in the midst of all the freshman year issues on his plate, and as you know, it's a long process. Just finding a compatible therapist in the area could take time, and it sounds like time is of the essence here. Perhaps his therapist at home could prescribe medication-it could be a decent quick fix that would get him over the hump of freshman year adjustment. (If the therapist at home is not an MD, he could find a local MD to meet with your son when he's home to write the scrip and do some light med management thereafter.) Then, with a more settled mind and a better social situation, your son can address his educational concerns in due course. My son's college experience took a major upward trajectory after he committed to meds for his social anxiety--they are a permanent part of his life now.</p>
<p>Just a thought for what it's worth. Could this whole issue be the pressure of preparing for college, seleting a the "right" major and the "right" school, and then actually going there. Since you say this surfaced about a year ago, that would have been about the time the college app realities kicked in. Especially for a boy? A girl could have a good cry and get on with it. </p>
<p>Best wishes for a quick resolution to his problems. How miserable this must be for him and for you, too. Good luck.</p>