<p>I have a similar situation...we sometimes talk openly about how challenging it is to have ADD and to do well. this helps to level the playing field a bit on the sibling front. its a way of honoring differences and recognizing different needs. I agree its best to focus on your older child first, ie. does he need any accomodations to learning in H.S., is he on medication? then assist him in finding the best fit school for him. remember once your first is situated off at college your day to day focus on your younger son will be simpler. I have found this to be one of the upsides of the first child leaving home for college.</p>