Single mom question

Prep School Admissions Prep School Parents
1

My daughter is applying for 9th. I am a single mom, went through a 4 year long divorce, working two jobs. My daughter and I are the family we have. I am an immigrant, we have no relatives here in the US at all. I have full legal and physical custody. My daughter is very resilient and she excels in every subject (once we were displaced for 2 months and moved 4 times). She is well spoken of in her school (top local private) and has a few very good friends. Financially we are getting by currently without house or car (we live in walking distance to her school).

Question to you all who have experience in applications to top boarding schools: Is it good for my daughter to mention in her interviews and/or essays how she excels and being resilient in spite of all hardships? In her current private school, she and I both don’t talk about our hardships.

2

I’m certainly no expert, but the main purpose of interviews and essays is to help the admissions staff know the applicant and show what is unique about her. I think your daughter’s resiliency in the face of difficulties should definitely be mentioned, probably by you in the parent’s statement. Perhaps you should also be candid with the teachers who write recommendations for her, so they can incorporate the topic in their letters. And best of luck to both of you - you are quite brave to think of sending your daughter to boarding school when she is your only family in this country.

3

I agree. Do it in the parent statement.

Someone told me when I started looking at boarding schools that “It takes a LOT of love to let your child go to boarding school”. Impressive how much you love your daughter. Sounds like the two of you are quite a team grounded in love. No reason to hide that.

4

Thank you for your encouragement! I have not submitted the part one yet because it asks for web links and uploading her works. She has not completed her website. She art portfolio has not been done yet (Oct 19th). Our interview is this weekend. I am tempted to submit Part one without providing the links and her supplemental works (essays, poems, art, etc.). The website instruction says that once I submit and wants to edit or add, I must contact the admission’s office and get permission to do so. What are your thoughts on this?

5

I highly doubt they will review her submission before the interview, so don’t worry about it. It is unusual for students to have their applications submitted before the interview.

Also, make sure your daughter is the one who is hitting the “submit” button – I get that you need/want to help her, but as much as possible she has to own this process. Keep that in mind for the interview process, too. They really want the child to be the one driving the decision to attend boarding school.

Why does your daughter want to do this?

6

Don’t submit any part of your application before the interview. Firstly, there’s little to no point. They are not reviewing applications before due dates. Secondly, applications need a lot of time and effort, don’t rush them! You will glean things from the interviews and tours that will make your applications better. Anything you want to show can be brought on a phone via pictures or videos BUT are usually better shown to the applicable teacher or coach, not the interviewer. It’s a good idea to ask in the interview for an introduction to the appropriate teacher or coach and then correspond with them, sending examples of work or game tape. You can cc the interviewer on these as well and also include them in your application.

We were told by one AO to always send game tape in an email to our AO because the “links in the applications never work.” If your daughter is an artist you will want to be talking to the art teachers and sending them her portfolio AFTER the interview and an introduction.

Lastly, resiliency is great. Schools are looking for it.

7

When my daughter went to BS, it seems like ages ago but really just three years, an AO told me resiliency was one of the 4 traits they were specifically screening for. I would encourage you to highlight it in your parent essays and mention it in the interview.

8

Many BS emphasize their efforts to help kids develop resiliency, so yes, what she brings with her will be viewed as an asset. Doubly so if she can demonstrate that she can help others develop theirs!

9

I believe the OP is referring to Part I of the Gateway app. Even though my child applied just last year, I already don’t remember the specifics, but IIRC, Part I is just demographic info, like student name, address, email, parent name, address, email, current school name, etc., and then it has a space to submit links to videos, portfolios, etc.

IIRC, you might even need to do part I before you can see the essay questions in part II, although I may be wrong about that. It may have been that my child thought this but it wasn’t actually the case.

Anyway, while my child did not submit part II until close to the application deadline, my child submitted part I in the fall, maybe around this time, or even earlier. My child contacted the admissions offices to find out how to submit the links close to the application deadline and each school had some way to do this. He did not have any problems submitting the links later.

If you don’t need to submit part I to see part II, there is no purpose in submitting it early. But because part I is mainly all demographic info, other than the links, I don’t think there is any harm in submitting it early and adding the links later.

I will add that while my child did not submit his application or links until close to the deadline, he submitted his SSAT scores to the schools prior to his interviews, and almost all of interviewers commented on his scores during the interview, so they had definitely seen them. My child is a strong test taker so he felt it would not hurt to submit the scores before interviews.

10

So grateful to all of your posts, suggestions and and encouragement! Will come back to report and follow up during the process and ask more questions. Thank you very much!

11

@AnnAndersen my response is late but my scenario is exactly the same as yours.
I mentioned DDs resiliency at the parent interview and could tell the AOs really liked that trait. I plan to put it in my parent statement and DD has it baked into some of her essays.

12

Yes, schools love resiliency. Also, a couple of schools asked questions that were hard to answer unless your kid has had an issue where they had to bounce back.

13

Your daughter’s resiliency is a strength that will serve her well in boarding school. I would include it in the parent’s statement, for sure. And if she can work it into any of her essays in a meaningful way, then great. But I wouldn’t make it make it the focal point of her statement unless it was tied into advocation or a future vocation.