Smart slacker kid not accepted thread

Parents Forum
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<p>I’m not bashing them, nor their professions. And I give way more on my own job in education than most of my peers do. I know about overcommitment. The difference is, when I did need to make the sacrifices (job-wise) at critical times in my children’s lives, I did so, because it was my parental responsibility to do so **if I wanted the results that I wanted <a href=“and%20got”>/b</a>. Now, if I hadn’t been particularly invested in family results, I could have continued to give to the community in substitute for giving to my family. The problem was, the community could never do for my children what I could do, and did do. We’re talking about choices and consequences here. You’re fine with your family’s choices & consequences, and no one should question that, as long as you (or anyone here) does not believe that the college admissions system should change to accommodate to one’s own family priorities, if those are different from the college’s priorities.</p>

<p>I think you misunderstood me about sports, and obviously I was unclear. I meant: the only direct substitute of sports for academics is in recruiting situations. In that case, a Dad would be doing double-duty efficiently, but as you know equally with me, very few even quite-accomplished athletes are admitted with poor grades but highly-compensating sports as a hook. Those are the more extreme exceptions. Hope that’s clear now.</p>

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<p>I don’t think that our circumstances are normal, perhaps. When you work in a small town medical practice, where it is extremely difficult to recruit new partners…which will become more challenging with the new health care bill…when other partners quit and you have a contract to deliver the service, you really don’t have a choice to put your family first. Count my husband among those who think you are insane if you choose to be a doctor in these days. It’s not about the money. There are not enough physicians and it’s the most dire in small towns. A lot of people will be in a world of hurt if the physicians in those places start putting their needs first.</p>

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<p>OP: I’m not in your boat because my D really thought about her list and decided not to be too reachy (only 1 top 20 school that we’ll hear from by the end of the week.) Part of the reason she didn’t have a top heavy list is because she was diagnosed with 2 LDs at the beginning of HS and had a rough start. She’s really worked through things in the past 4 years and we’re really proud of her. So, just know that maturity can help them focus on what needs to get done once they figure it out.</p>

<p>And it’s not just “slackers” and their parents who are being hit with disappointment this time of year. Ds good friend got rejected from MIT (her dream school) last weekend even though she had all kinds of national awards, was female & had a really quirky profile that I thought would catch their eye. None of our HSs MIT applicants got in, including the kid who scored an 800 on the Math portion of the SATs in 8th grade. </p>

<p>All this to say that I want to send you {{hugs}} and that you’re not alone. It really stinks to see your kids go through rejection. I know it’s part of life, yada, yada, yada, but it still stinks. Somewhere else here on CC someone wrote that “a mom is only as happy as her unhappiest child” and that is so true. And I’ve read enough here on CC to know that in October the majority of kids feel that they are where they are supposed to be. Sometimes the answer to our prayers is “no” or “not now” and we don’t see that’s the right answer until it’s in our rear view mirror.</p>

<p>Enjoy your Sunday & do something to pamper yourself & your son…</p>

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<p>Rob…awesome post.</p>

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<p>RobD , thanks for the hug. All sorts of kids are getting hit with disappointment which was why I was starting the thread so as not to rain on the celebrations. And the point of the “slacker” in the title was because the pain of a rejection for a 110% qualified kid (BTDT) is different from the pain of a rejection for a kid that really didn’t have the same qualifications (BTDoingT), but still had a dream denied. Hoping for a result is not the same as expecting a result. </p>

<p>Pain is pain, deserved or not. </p>

<p>We know we’ll be OK and I hope everyone else knows it or learns it soon for their houses.</p>

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<p>^ If the dream is to be an engineer, the dream has not been denied. As parents, it’s our job, I think, to help them frame their dreams in realistic terms – what they can do, not where they must do it. (Since the “where” is not totally in their control, even for non-slackers.)</p>

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<p>Eggzackry.</p>

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<p>point! epiphany. I should have said “dream school” denied. </p>

<p>And going back to the “half baked adult” :slight_smile: LOL I expect dreams to change with more baking. Mine did and in fact, still are, as I become burnt to a crisp!</p>

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<p>Hopefully the next few weeks will bring some good news, OP.</p>

<p>debrock
What is your h’s specialty?</p>

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<p>interventional and general radiology.</p>

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<p>…one of those specialties where we’re “open” 24/7, whether your child has a parent teacher conference…or not.</p>

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<p>debrockman: Sorry for your H’s illness, and I hope his renal function is okay.</p>

<p>In DS’s high school class we saw some of the “brilliant slacker boys” but some very hard working brilliant boys. The academic team were all boys. The boys, who were all hard working, went to Chapel Hill (accepted at NU), Williams, Haverford and Princeton.</p>

<p>All found college challenging.</p>

<p>None are the really mathy brains. Maybe that is its own personality. Math ability peaks very young so there are a lot of these self-taught mathematicians who find school fails them. Some will learn to master subject; some never will, and that’s okay too.</p>

<p>There are so many benchmarks for a successful life that all these kids, the boys and girls, have the challenge of putting together a life that provides financial stability, personal satisfaction and successful relationships. I think this is difficult for people all along the IQ spectrum. In fact, sometimes I think high intelligence can be an impediment.</p>

<p>I agree that Ivies are not necessary for life success. I attended mediocre state u and got Ivy acceptance to grad school.</p>

<p>I think the OP was mourning a certain dream of inspiration that MIT and Caltech could provide her son, things that excited him. And his skill level meant that he could take advantage of these things, even if his past performance didn’t get him a seat at the table.</p>

<p>Since MIT has an acceptance rate of under 10% there are a lot of kids feeling this. </p>

<p>But it’s okay to be sad without a discussion of who deserves what.</p>

<p>My kid did get into his dream school and found he couldn’t do his dream major. There was a lot of pain in that too, and the need for a new life plan.</p>

<p>Getting into college is just the beginning of life’s adult challenges.</p>

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<p>mythmom…that’s a toughie, too. IU has a pretty rigorous biz school, that if you don’t get accepted direct admit, admission can be pretty iffie. One of my neighbor’s kids just went through that. He had a choice…come home and go to Kelley in Indy or stay in B-town…which is another maturation decision. He decided to come home and go to the regional campus. His resume will still say, “Kelley School of Business”…these are some of the consequences and decisions that go into growing up.</p>

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<p>Yes absolutely.</p>

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<p>Any chance your area will go digital, so that the radiology practices that rotate covering hospitals on a contract basis can read the films on their laptops? Much easier! Heck, unfortunately manyfilms/mris/mras/cts, etc are getting read by offshore docs, taking jobs away from US doctors. Hospitals claim it allows them to get films read at 3 am, when it is the middle of the day on the other side of the pond…</p>

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<p>We are digital…have been for a decade. Don’t kid yourself…liability issues will prevent much offshoring. Most offshoring requires a morning “over read” by the local radiologist</p>

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<p>I don’t know how big your h’s practice is, debrock, but here most of the docs rotate call, and if the nighttime films require a second read during the day, it can still be done during the day. Yes it is a lot to do, but when they arent on call or when films are read overseas, even the on-call doc should be able to get reasonable sleep. If it is a small community, hopefully the nighttime call isn’t too busy.</p>

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<p>Oh my gosh, I didnt even read all the replies–will as soon as I write this.</p>

<p>I have a brilliant kid --was accelerated several grades in math starting in elementary school. In fact , the first day of kindergarten his teacher called us to tell us he was figuring out the volume of his box of raisons for snack. We told her that was pretty normal. </p>

<p>Somewhere he lost sight of things–dont know if the schools pushed too hard or what–he was brought over to the high school starting in 6th grade. </p>

<p>Anyway–for the past two years has been a slacker–a nice kid , but a slacker.</p>

<p>His dream was MIT but didnt even apply.</p>

<p>We are now waiting for Carnegie Mellon. UPenn and Union. he has gotten in Penn State but is such a geek I dont think it is a good match-either does his counselor. I watch each day for Carnegie Mellon’s Fat envelope–but I dont think its going to happen. Yes I want to hold hands unitl this is over!</p>

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<p>Add me to the list of parents with disappointed children.</p>

<p>My son WAS a slacker…averaged a 2.8 his first 2 years of HS, then miraculously after visiting a few college campuses pulled off a 3.8 his junior year and his continuing in that vein his senior year.</p>

<p>He’s one of the youngest in his class and I’m thinking he just needed to mature.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, it wasn’t good enough to pull his cumulative GPA up past a 3.2 which is what colleges saw on his application.</p>

<p>I only hope they looked closely at the upward trend.</p>

<p>He was rejected and wailisted at schools he could have been successful at (rejected Northeastern, American, waitlisted at UCONN, Loyola Maryland and Providence College, accepted at UVM and Bryant with merit money).</p>

<p>He really fell in love with Loyola Maryland and PC, and I do think he has a shot at getting off the waitlist at PC (Loyola has a HUGE waitlist, I don’t think he’ll get in there, because they have a “priority waitlist” and he didn’t even make that, he’s on the second rate non-priority waitlist).</p>

<p>At this point I’m even wondering if UVM isn’t as good a school as Providence, and almost 10K cheaper a year.</p>

<p>We’re footing the entire bill no matter where he goes, but I had to stop reading the celebratory threads too, so depressing.</p>

<p>To say my son was disappointed is an understatement. Crushed is more like it.</p>

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<p>wow, I hadn’t read everything when I replied a few minutes ago. It is a jungle out there. </p>

<p>When a kid has a dream and it doesnt work out for whatever reason–even if it is all his own fault-- a parent is going to feel the pain as well. There are so many could have/ would have’s going on in our home right now, but mostly there is dissapointment and stress. Will it all work out? Of course…but allow a little time to mourn.</p>