<p>After reading countless posts about how following a high school love to college is a bad idea, I'm curious as to how one should handle the situation when their boyfriend/girlfriend moves away.
In a month my boyfriend of over a year will move to the other side of the country for college and I'll be starting my senior year in high school. So are we supposed to break up now? It just seems so silly! We've never fought and still care about each other very much, so why should we end a long, happy and healthy relationship? I don't want to end it and neither does he, but is breaking up the intelligent thing to do in this situation? Has anyone experienced this? How did you handle it?</p>
<p>Why would he stick with a high school chick when he could get a college babe.</p>
<p>oh thats right you two are in * love *</p>
<p>Have you considered having a long distance relationship with him?</p>
<p>Maybe because of the distance?</p>
<p>I would suggest taking an open ended break. Statistically, it’s going to end. If he goes to college and you grow apart, as would be expected, I think that would be a more painful end to the relationship. If you end things, he goes away, but you two still like each other, you can always get back together. Just my two cents though.</p>
<p>of course it can work</p>
<p>My friend is in this situation, and they are just going to see what happens with time.
I think they’ll try to make it work…
I’m sure its possible.</p>
<p>Maybe you could just call it friends. BFFL!! =p I don’t really know if that works…</p>
<p>I broke it off before I got too attached…you might be able to try long distance. It truly depends on how committed you both are to eachother.</p>
<p>i faced this situation. We knew it was inevitable, just “stay together” and wait for it to naturally come to an end (as it most likely will). There won’t be hard feelings, it’ll just happen when you two stop relating to one another.</p>
<p>Hang out with guys at home, etc. Whoever suggested an open-ended relationship was right.</p>
<p>Honestly, if you are asking this on a public forum in the manor that you asked it- I would say that you do not have the maturity to handle a long-distance relationship. </p>
<p>My boy and I have been together for 4.5 years (3.5 years before I started college). Yes, you can do a long distance relationship but ONLY if you guys are 100% committed to it (and it is a LOT of work). </p>
<p>Don’t break up just because of the distance. It will cause major regret on both sides. Better to let it play out. Either you grow apart and that’s that, or you guys stay together and continue on.</p>
<p>I hate these threads. But let me venture in anyway. I can tell you that the chances of being broken hearted when somebody goes away to college and another goes to high school or a different college are about 100 percent. People this age change too quickly and there is too much going on. Rarely do relationships last at this age, forever. And in any event, I am not really supportive of that anyway. You need to grow and so does he. If its meant to be, you can always rekindle the relationship in later years. But for now, its best to have a peaceful understanding and let it go…remember the good times and cherish them in your heart, but open your mind, heart and spirit to growing up and moving on…BOTH of you. Too many times the “clingers” cause heartache and trouble…and then it blows up and BOTH suffer huge emotional breakdowns, sickness and sometimes REALLY BAD GRADES. Neither of you want that for yourself or the other. Better to have an understanding now, be strong, be mature and let it go. Yes, its painful. Its part of life and all of that. But its necessary in order to grow up. Kids this age think their companion is “the one” at this age. Which is silly. You are 17/18. VERY, VERY YOUNG. Nothing wrong with being young, just recognize it for what it is. Kiss him goodbye and wish him well and then DONT do a rebound relationship. Just chill.</p>
<p>If you do the opposite and cling on, then be ready for a tumultuous relationship, a lot of anxiety and fear and trust issues and trouble. Is it worth it?</p>
<p>D is in opposite situation - she’s going 1600 miles away and boyfriend is staying here. They’ve already gone thru one long distance thing when he was a few states away living with his dad for his junior year. Came back his senior yr but ended up at a different high school. It’s one of those things you don’t know will work until you try - then it either will or it won’t.</p>
<p>I stayed in my hometown and my boyfriend moved 2,000 miles away for college. We lasted another 2 1/2 years, when he decided he liked another girl better. Broke my heart, but it was the best thing that could have happened.</p>
<p>I agree 100% with ghostbuster. I guess I was the “clinger” towards the end, and it was horrible. If I had it to do over again, I would have broken up with him as my parents advised! Oh, and we totally thought we were IN LOVE - he even asked me to marry him before he went off to school.</p>
<p>you might as well break it off and save yourself the terrible ending. Chances are, he’ll cheat or you’ll cheat and then it will be a big mess and someone will get hurt. Just cut it off and hey, maybe if you go to college there to you can hook back up, but long distance relationships like this, where one goes off to college, don’t have a very good track record.</p>
<p>He is leaving soon, so you have two options for what you want to do up until then:
- Break away
- Make the most of the time you have left
If you would rather do 1, then break up. If you want to do 2 and think you can deal with the long-distance relationship, then keep it going.</p>
<p>My ex-boyfriend and I managed to make the distance thing work for about a year and a half. We had a great relationship, never fought, always a good time together. I had cold feet several times, and finally decided to call it off. Even though the age difference isn’t that much, college and high school are two different stages of life. Plus, I’d be happier being with someone I’d get to see more often. I told him that if we were even an hour away, I wouldn’t hesitate to try to make things work. But it’s too much of a strain; he was up until like two, while i was ready to go to bed by ten or eleven, and we were in different time zones…most likely you won’t even break up over mistrust or anything like that. There’s just so much to do and so much to experience that you might feel tied down at first…Not saying it can’t work. We lasted way longer than anyone thought. :)</p>
<p>How do you even make a long distance relationship work anyways? I’ve always wondered about that…</p>
<p>^Talking. A LOT of talking. Skype, phone, etc actually make it pretty easy to stay together.</p>
<p>Why would he go to a school so far away if he is so in love with you? Unless that was the only school that had his major or something, there is no reason for going to another coast. A mutual break up now is best for both. If you end up together later, then it was meant to be.</p>