<p>and now I don't know what's going to happen to me. </p>
<p>Last night I went to a concert with some friends. We were all drinking and smoking and having a jolly good time until one of my friends passed out in the middle of the crowd. We carried her away to the health center and she was later sent to the hospital. I was questioned by the police and they got my contact information (phone number, address, full name, etc.) Luckily, they couldn't get in touch with my parents last night so they sent me home with a friend. As of now they don't know what happened and my friend's parents aren't going to spill the beans. Unfortunatley I know have a thing on my record stating that I was intoxicated as a minor. My record will be cleared when I turn 18 and I am not going to be breaking any more laws (I've DEFINITELY learned my lesson). What I am really worried about is the police trying to contact my parents again or them sending a copy of the report to my house. Does anyone know the procedure with this type of thing?</p>
<p>Trust me...I've really learned my lesson. I'm done lying to my parents, going to parties, drinking, drugging, smoking, etc. It's over and I'm looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life. Please don't lecture me on what I did wrong because I do understand that I made some pretty bad decisions. Seeing my best friend passed out and being carried to a ambulence was a big wake up call. What I'm looking for now is guidance...so please...help me try and figure this out.</p>
<p>tell your parents yourself, take responsilbility like an adult. You will find that living up to your (new) standards comes a little easier after taking responsibility for your failings. It's human to make mistakes; it's taking a big step toward being a positive human being when you take responsibility.</p>
<p>It's better that you come clean with your parents. Then you won't have to worry whether the police will notify your parents or someone else will spill the beans to them by mistake. Tell them that you learned your lesson. You and your friends did right by taking the girl to the health center, even if that meant having to deal with the police.<br>
Your parents will probably be upset with you, but if they love you, they'll get over it and they'll remember that no amount of lecturing from them could have made as great an impact as witnessing first hand the consequences of intoxication. Chin up!</p>
<p>I don't think I could do that. Not only would I be punished for the rest of my life, but they would HATE my best friend. I DO want to start taking responsibility of my life by making the right decisions but it would kill them if they found out about this. A few months ago they found out that I attended a party where alcohol was present but they had no idea that I was drinking and they were still furious. I wish I had the balls to talk to them about it, but I really really don't. </p>
<p>So I've been told that things like this go on your record, but they are usually just stored in a basement and forgotten about. The thing that worries me is the fact that they couldn't reach my parents last night. Would they send some kind of notification in the mail? Argh....I'm so scared.</p>
<p>Telling them is easier said then done , right? Think of it this way- if you tell now it can be a story about your friend complete with you taking responsible action to protect her at some risk to you of exposure. Or you can wait and have it leak out (it will, trust me) and then you're the kid who had this encounter with the police and then tried to conceal it every minute of everyday thereafter. </p>
<p>The first one was stupidity followed by responsible behavior. The second is stupidity followed by daily acts of deceit in an effort to avoid detection. Think about it. You'll know what to do. </p>
<p>Oh, don't get me wrong-it will still suck. It will just suck less. They can only "kill' you once. You'll die a little every day until this comes out and then they'll "kill" you. It's part of growing up. Not a fun part, but a part. This does not make you a bad kid or a degenerate. You just screwed up. Don't compound it. </p>
<p>Oh, and another thing- I'm betting your parents didn't believe you when you said you weren't drinking last time either-that's why they were furious. ;) Good luck, kiddo. It'll get better . Just muster up your courage . Pick a calm time and do it.</p>
<p>Final thought. Yep, I've been there and played it both ways. This way is better.</p>
<p>nope, you are not scared...you are lost. Think what you are saying, that you cannot tell your parents you were out drinking. Beleive me, there will be lots more important stuff to take responsibility for in your life. Until you can accept the consequences for your actions, you will be lost. </p>
<p>Still, good luck. Only you can take the next steps...</p>
<p>If you had failed to get medical help for your friend, that would have been truly big-time screwing up. If you had done something truly stupid, like dragging her back to the car and dumping her in her bed at home, she could have died. But you and your friends took responsibility for the situation and handled it properly.</p>
<p>Of course there are going to be consequences for what happened. But it's not as bad as it could have been. </p>
<p>I think you need to tell your parents -- preferably before the "system" tells them. They're going to be more upset if they hear about it from another source. In addition, you may need your parents' help in determining whether the legal consequences of what happened to you fit into the categories of disciplinary action that must be reported on your college applications. You may even need the help of a lawyer to figure this out.</p>
<p>The BIGGEST screw up you can make is waiting for some gossip to tell your parents. That WILL happen and they will be crushed by your silence. Trust them to love you.</p>
<p>TELL them immediately. Man up to your faults and take your licks like a grown up. Your parents made mistakes too--they just don't reveal the details of those mistakes.</p>
<p>surfette, I'm not familiar with the laws of your jurisdiction (middle of the sea) but in the jurisdictions I know about there is a required date for appearance, paying of a fee, community service, something at some point after the date of the arrest/ticket, even for smaller misdemeanors especially for a minor. I am assuming they have your correct address , don't they?</p>
<p>It is possible they have a very informal system but don't count on it. Like I said earlier, this is not going to stay a secret.</p>
<p>Dear Surfette, There seem to be two different issues here, first, coming clean with your parents, on which I agree with the other posters. It's going to be so much worse if they find out from someone other than you... The second thing is whether you are going to have a juvenile record. Were you actually arrested? Curmudgeon raises some very good points. If you are not arrested and convicted of an infraction, it's hard to understand what your record would be. This might be the moment for you to get in touch with your local Legal Aid or Public Defender's youth division to get some clear information about your legal status.</p>
<p>It sounds like when it came to the biggest things, you did NOT screw up. You got help for your friend. You talked to the police.</p>
<p>Do you remember Lucifer, the CC member who died earlier this year after his friends tucked him in after a night of drinking? At least you didn't make that kind of mistake.</p>
<p>As for your parents -- tell them. If you don't, it will weigh on you heavily. They also probably will find out anyway, and it's better that they find out from you instead of from the police or others. I suggest, too, that you stop lying to them about your drinking. They aren't stupid, and probably know that you lied before. Turn over a new leaf: Find some safer ways of having fun, and be honest with your parents.</p>
<p>I wasn't arrested. What happened was I took my friend to the health center, and then left to find some of my sober friends so they could help me sort things out. When I came back the police officers were there and they asked me to sit down. They wrote down my name, address, phone number, parents' names...I think that's it. The woman working at the health center then proceded to call my parents. Our answering machine is broken so even though she left a message with a phone number, it will be deleted. My other friend was there and her mom was already waiting outside to take her away. Because they couldn't get in touch with my parents, she talked to my friends' parents and they agreed to take me home. I left with them and that was that. I wasn't given any paperwork and they didn't perform any type of drug/drinking tests on me. They didn't directly tell me that it would be put on my record, but my friend who was sent to the hospital was told that it would be on hers.</p>
<p>Surfette - It's best if you talk to your parents now before someone else does.</p>
<p>Speaking as a parent, trust me, we know our kids are going to do things that will possibly disappoint us, but we still hope that we have open communication that our own kids will tell us, not someone else.</p>
<p>S1 had a similar story - but he just left home for college. We gave him the obligatory drinking speech that I think all parents do. He and a few friends went to another college, nearby and partied there. He wasn't feeling too well..and we always told our kids, if you are sick go to the infirmary...well, DUH, my son went there and said he didnt feel good...Since he wasn't a student at this college, they called the police. An ambulance ride and overnight hospital stay later (to sleep it off), he returned to his dorm...He called me at work the next day to tell me what had happened. Was I upset - yes, since we just had "the talk", but I was also proud that he called me to tell me himself which was good since the police department called me later that day to tell me. If I would've heard from the Police first, I would've been much more upset.</p>
<p>Moral: Fess up now and save yourself alot of hassles later. Take the heat.</p>
<p>In the end, surfette, you will end up doing what you want to do, but you are getting excellent advice here ... advice you solicited. I believe you asked for the advice of parents because you KNOW what you should do ... you just needed confirmation and support. As a parent, I very much believe the best thing you can do is come clean and tell your parents. They will find out. It may not be today, tomorrow, or next week, but trust me ... they'll find out. It will be so much better coming straight from you. Will they be disappointed? Probably so, but they will probably also respect the fact that you got help for your friend instead of leaving her behind in order to avoid trouble for yourself. You don't need a lecture ... you have hopefully been scared straight. You will breathe so much easier once you get this off your chest. If you're honest with your parents, I believe you'll be pleasantly surprised at their response. Good luck!</p>
<p>The only thing that really worries me is that there was a similar incident about 3 months ago when they found out about a party I attended. I wanted to be open with them because I wanted to feel like I could talk to them about these kinds of things but they took it VERY badly. I really hate lying to them and I wanted to be honest with them but it just didn't work out. </p>
<p>The thing that is really killling me is that my dad had a talk with me before I went to the concert and told me that he wanted me to have a fun and SAFE senior year. I just don't know how i could tell him what happened after this.</p>
<p>Look surfette, you start out worried about a report being sent home by the police and a "record" that will be cleared when you are 18. Now you say that you were never ticketed or arrested. If that is the case , you never had a "record" and police reports of the incident are never "cleared". </p>
<p>What the parents continue to try to impress upon you is that this will not stay a secret no matter what you think of your friends' parents and your friends' abilities to keep quiet. In less they live in a cave your parents will find out. It may be sooner , it may be later but they will find out and it will be worse.</p>
<p>My D lost or it was stolen, her credit/atm card. she didn't tell me for a week, she was at camp</p>
<p>Anyway, I finally figured it out, and I was mad...not that it was gone, that happens, but that she didn't tell me</p>
<p>Alot can happen in a week with a card...yes at first I would react to the card being gone, that is natural, but to not tell me and me finding out be asking questions...argghhh</p>
<p>If they get something in the mail, it will blindside them, and embarrass them in front of others, that can make parents madder than the original sin would</p>
The authorities deal with this situation all the time. My guess is they will call until they get a response, no matter how many times the message is deleted.</p>
<p>
Very dramatic but t won't kill them if you tell them or if they hear it from someone else. However, hearing it from someone else will hurt a lot more. I know you are scared and anxious but think about how they will feel hearing it from someone else. How would you feel if you found out something important about your parents from a stranger and you realized they didn't trust you enough to talk to you themselves?</p>
<p>Get caught with drugs and you could lose your eligibility for government guaranteed loans. Private college loans may have the same resistrictions.</p>