<p>I’m just coming to this thread now, but I went to school 22.5 hours away when my sister was 5 and starting kindergarten, and I remember how strange it felt to be in a place where everyone was the same age. I really missed being around little kids. You might want to seek out opportunities to volunteer with small kids. And absolutely, Skype with your sister.</p>
<p>Hey, thanks boysx3 i’m doing all right, and it really is too busy to think about home, since first day of classes was today and I already got loads of homework. So far I’m trying to just get into a routine and see what I have time to do. Calling once a day in the late evenings help. And thanks Sop14’s Mom, I’ll see if I do have time to volunteer with local schools’ kids. But yeah, I want to see how I do these next days/weeks and then maybe do a follow-up post of my experience in homesickness and all this, because if i can conquer this then i bet most everybody can too</p>
<p>well, just an update for you all who wanted to know, it’s been about a month here, right around midterm week. The past month has mainly been all right, I’ve usually been with friends and having fun, but lately I realized I need an attitude adjustment since lately I’ve been feeling a bit down at times and wondering if I made a good choice and wishing I had picked USCarolina, though I do not even know what it would be like to be there. I feel kind of guilty for making my parents spend the money for here (though it’s not that much, fin aid cut it down to the avg cost of going to a public college w/o merit scholarships). And I have thought of transferring, but I can’t give up or let that hit my mind because I feel like I have to give this place at least a semester or a year before I even look into transferring (besides, the other scholarships, etc. from other schools would be gone and that’d be not worth it). But the homesickness isn’t too bad , anymore. I don’t feel like that’s the problem. I’m not sure what is the problem, it’s not too bad of a workload or anything, but the feeling is probably just like ‘buyers remorse’ or something like that. Have to give it more time and see if everything clears up</p>
<p>SinkorSwim–Here’s your attitude adjustment! Get over it! You’re at a great school, have friends. FORGET the other options you had especially since you have NO idea that you’d be happier there! QUIT second guessing your decisions!
Go exercise, take care of yourself, eat healthy, hang with friends on a regular basis, keep your grades up! Give yourself TIME to adjust…no matter what new endeavor you undertake in life, it’ll probably ALWAYS be hard at first until you learn the ropes and settle in. And a month isn’t long enough.</p>
<p>haha thanks for the push gouf! I’ll do my best to follow that :)</p>
<p>I read a book a couple years ago called The Paradox of Choice, by a sociologist named Barry Schwartz. It was really helpful to me; I realized that the wide array of choices available to me have sometimes made me less happy than I might have been otherwise, which was a very counterintuitive idea to me.</p>
<p>Here’s part of the Amazon description for the book:</p>
<p>"Whether we’re buying a pair of jeans, ordering a cup of coffee, selecting a long-distance carrier, applying to college, choosing a doctor, or setting up a 401(k), everyday decisions – both big and small – have become increasingly complex due to the overwhelming abundance of choice with which we are presented.</p>
<p>As Americans, we assume that more choice means better options and greater satisfaction. But beware of excessive choice: choice overload can make you question the decisions you make before you even make them, it can set you up for unrealistically high expectations, and it can make you blame yourself for any and all failures. In the long run, this can lead to decision-making paralysis, anxiety, and perpetual stress. And, in a culture that tells us that there is no excuse for falling short of perfection when your options are limitless, too much choice can lead to clinical depression."</p>
<p>He goes on to talk about ways we can learn to find the “good-enough” options for our lives, being satisfied with those choices, and enjoying ourselves more. </p>
<p>I wish you all the best!</p>
<p>dear sinkorswim123,
we have a paradox of sorts. we live close to penn and my daughter is trying to decide whether or not to apply there ED. Penn has everything she is looking for in a college, but she is worried it is too close for her “life adventure”. maybe we could help the situation by meeting one another. I grew up in south and went to college in the south myself, so we could possibly meet you and share experiences. tou can shw my daughter around Penn- we can help try to show you a little southern hospitality in PA. don’t know if you would feel comfortable- but I don’t usually write much on this forum- so just thought I would reach out and see if you were interested</p>
<p>I found that to be very true momofteens, thanks for the info! And sure serenity, if you want I can show you all around penn and share all that I know so far. I’d be glad to accept your offer, and you can send me a private message on here if you want, to talk about it further or anything. Thanks!</p>
<p>gouf is correct; a month isn’t long enough. You’re still in the settling-in phase. You need to give it some more time.</p>
<p>Still, for motivation, look how far you’ve come since your first post. You’re making very good progress. Keep it up.</p>
<p>One good way to feel like a place is the right place for you, is to invest yourself. Find something – a club, activity, cause – which grabs you and plunge in.</p>
<p>DD1, now a sophomore in architecture OOS has reverse homesickness for her studio, serial all-nighters, and college life in general. She is outright catatonic when she’s home on breaks 
catching up on sleep. </p>
<p>I had no time to think about homesickness when I came to the US for college from Elbonia 30-odd years ago either.</p>
<p>All right, thank you all. I’ll keep on, do my best to change my attitude, and we’ll see how it goes. I’m also trying to find a work-study job, so hopefully that will help me too. Thanks all!</p>
<p>Hi, I just saw your post while I was googling about homesickness and returning to college. I know this post is almost from a year ago, but I was just wondering how you have faced your fears from freshman year. I’m a rising sophomore just like you, and I was in the same exact state of fear/panic last year. I think it’s gotten a little bit better, but since I’m returning to school in a few days, and the idea of going back so FAR away from home is just frightening, I just want to hear how your transition to college was. I read the messages you updated everyone with, and it seems like you had a great year. How did everything change? Most importantly, do you have any advice for returning to school? </p>
<p>Feel free to PM me! I feel like all college students have an internal fear of leaving home, but most don’t really show it. I just don’t know how everyone else deals with it so sophisticatedly!</p>
<p>haha all right I’ll PM you!</p>
<p>There are no two ways about it, you are going to be homesick and sometimes you will be lonely. But it will not last forever. It might take longer than the couple of weeks people suggest - it could take till after winter break. But it will absolutely improve with time! Try to be patient…it can take a while to adjust. Don’t decide you hate it in the first couple of weeks or even months but believe that it will eventually become your home. It all takes time but this time next year you won’t be able to wait to get back to school.</p>
<p>By the way are you a synchronized swimmer?</p>
<p>haha no I’m not a synchronized swimmer, and yeah I agree with you, it takes longer for some people than others, and it’s definitely good to not judge a place before we settle in. Time heals most things, haha, thanks!!</p>
<p>My daughter just started as a Freshman at a Public School a few hours from us. She just rushed and was accepted into a Sorority. She is having a blast and is quickly making College her new home. Just go in, make friends, get involved. Philly is a large town with lots to do, and close to New York and DC. You should never be bored, always have something to do.</p>
<p>Hi everyone, </p>
<p>I know it’s been almost a year since this thread was posted in, but right now I’m suffering with the idea of leaving home for college. I’m planning on entering Wellesley college in the fall, but I live all the way in FL and I am so scared to leave home, my parents, my sister, and the warm weather. I see wellesley as a way to achieve so much in life, yet I can’t stop thinking about my fear of leaving home. I love my home and my family so much, and I can’t imagine what I would do without them, but I don’t want to not go to wellesley just because I am afraid. I got a presidential scholarship to a school close to home, which means that most likely I will live and home, because the college is so close. As pathetic as it seems, I’m struggling to decide between these two schools! Please if anyone can help me with this–because I don’t want to spend my summer feeling homesick before I even leave home! </p>
<p>You will get better responses if you start your own thread.
It’s almost June, how can you still be deciding between schools?</p>
<p>You could make an appointment with a counselor/therapist to talk about this. It may be helpful to have an in-depth conversation with someone. For instance, do you feel needed at home and are you worried about your family, or your sister, missing you?</p>
<p>Some people need to make these transitions slowly over time, but most adjust to going away, even far away, even if it means some of the kinds of anxieties you are experiencing. I think most people will tell you to go to Wellesley, but some really do need to be closer to home and having that secure base helps them move forward, Noone can really tell you what is best.</p>
<p>Is the school close to home residential? I think a compromise, if you do decide to go to the closer school, would be to live there, even though it is near your home.</p>
<p>Wellesley is an unbelievable school and the Boston area is a wonderful place to be.</p>
<p>Basically, remember, that no matter what you choose, things will work out!</p>
<p>This is an old thread. </p>
<p>Agree with EK…how is it that you planned to attend Wellesley, but are now considering a college closer to home. Did you NOT make a matriculation decision by May 1…and if now…why?</p>