@VaBluebird : If you’d like more info about what I do with them, send me a PM.
Had an aha moment yesterday that I’ve inadvertently picked up two new hobbies over this past year of empty nest-hood: baking and gardening. Two things I rarely did before but am really enjoying now that I have the time.
Today I put on my big girl pants, added a necklace that makes me feel like I have superpowers (bought it myself for myself at Tiffanys) and made it through work - day one as an empty nester. Actually - have only cried once. I think DH is struggling more than I am.
When D went to college, I didn’t make any major changes to her room…but I did add a chair and a stand lamp in there and while it stayed “her room” it also doubled as a guest room when she was away. She lived at home for a little while after college and she was still in her room. When she moved out for good, I moved my desk in there and moved our coats, extra clothes, and my sewing machine into the closet. She got a new bed when she moved out, so I kept her old bed in the room. I also moved an antique bookcase in there as well. So basically her room is now the guest room and my office. Though when D comes to visit, that’s her room to stay in. S just started his freshman year of college, so his room will more or less stay the same for now. Though we can use it as a second guestroom if needed when he’s away at school. I did move an easy chair into S’s room as well. When S moves out for good, we’ll probably make it into a second guestroom and use the closet for storage. We were thinking of turning S’s room (when he moves out for good) into an office for H or a den, but the room that H currently uses as an office has no door on it, so it wouldn’t be good for a guest room.
As far as what I’ll be doing: well H and I still work full time, but with no kids in the house, the weekends and evenings will be more freed up!
We are just over a week into an empty house. S’19 started his freshman year and D’18 started her sophmore year, both in colleges several states away from us and each other. Lol
We are planning a road trip this weekend and have 2 others in discussion to add a few states to our visited list. Otherwise, we both work FT and it’s pretty darn boring so far.
Planet Fitness has been getting donations from us for several months and it’s probably time to go use the equipment! Also, there are a few projects to do around the house and we are trying to relocate closer to family.
I’ve been trying to read through this thread for some interesting ideas. Once we get relocated, I want to start volunteering on a regular basis and pick up some type of art class.
What’s funny about the house empty of dependents/“kids” (I hate that term nest) is that you do get used to it, you start to like it, and when they come back you love it, but are usually ready to have your space back when they leave. It’s a weird and wonderful process.
Congratulations @bloomfield88.
Part of the job will be to change the nest, I think. We have been actively looking to replace our 5 BR home with one that matches our dreams for the next 20 years. More energy efficient, an expansive view, walking distance to certain things. It isn’t so easy unless we want to spend more than we would get for our current house. We also want to live part of the year near our two kids, who will now be living together in the Bay Area. We have been living there for a few months a year before our D moved out, but we need an art studio nearby for my wife to work.
Thank you @shawbridge
We did move from Singapore to Charleston. Quality of life is wonderful already Singapore pretty hard to beat, though.
Dropped off a daughter for Orientation recently. Already bought flights to Family Weekend to our daughters’ college and flights to see a basketball game at our son’s college. This empty nest stuff is so much better than pushing on a rope to get high school kids to see the big picture, yet focus on important details. The three full runs at the college application process got old. I did love college visits and acceptance days, but happy the rest is in the rearview mirror.
Charleston is a very nice little city. We have spent a number of New Year’s weekends there. Congrats. Boston (you were also considering) is a very interesting city – lots of interesting folks there but generally extremely expensive (though perhaps not compared to Singapore). College apps/interviews/acceptances are in the distant rearview mirror, but the only thing that was good about those was bonding with the kids.
No argument here. Boston and Singapore are expensive. We moved from LA to the Bay Area prior to Singapore, so we had a streak of expensive areas in a row.
Was happy to pay $1.75 for gas today.
I’m a week into empty nesting, and right now, I feel like the future is looming vast and empty. But I also realize that I will eventually get used to this, even if it never feels great. It helped that we met up with my BIL and his wife, who have been empty nesters for a few years, but whose youngest moved back in. They both preferred it when he wasn’t there, lol.
What was really helpful though was for hubby and I to mark the calendar with all the dates that are upcoming for the kids to be home, events, and holidays. Makes it seem a lot more manageable.
^^^ @Lindagaf , a future that is looming vast and empty is sort of sad! Write those kids dates on the calendar but you also need some dates on the calendar that just have things that are FOR and ABOUT you! You’ll have much richer phone/in-person conversations with your kids if you have stuff to talk about too! And they will feel happy to know you are expanding your world just like they are.
In a way, the nest has been empty for a long time, but it was often partial. ShawSon went to college 1.5 hours away and would drive home for some weekends. Our youngest, ShawD, left for college 8 years ago and except for her first semester, she was 3/4 hour away for 4.5 years to get bachelors and masters… But, both were home for summers. ShawSon left for grad school on the west coast and then started a company. But ShawD worked for the last 2.5 years 1/2 an hour away and we saw her at least once every two weeks and probably more. And we’d hear about her as she would also socialize with family friends.
Now, she’s moving to the West Coast. She and her BF will live with ShawSon and his friends. ShawWife is actually feeling her absence already, so maybe this is the final stage of empty nest syndrome.
In terms of how to handle things, ShawWife is very busy – taking care of me post knee replacement surgery’s, getting ready for her next art exhibition at a museum near where she was born, and looking for a new, smaller house… Both kids helped during the immediate period post-surgery and we will head out to the West Coast for Thanksgiving so we can spend the holiday with them.
@abasket , don’t worry, we have some things planned for just the two of us. It’s been a week, so I’m still allowed to feel that the future is vast and looming, haha!
I think nearly everyone will agree it’s a BIG adjustment, but we all look forward to sharing how things have evolved with the “new normal.” It is definitely different and most of us enjoy the old and the new (to varying degrees) – the transition can be a bit bumpy.
Youngest kid left for undergraduate August 2011 so I’m eight years in now (!!!). Both kids went to school on the opposite coast, with DS1 spending summers on campus or away at programs elsewhere, so I thought I’d made the adjustment. Since travel was so time-consuming and iffy at Thanksgiving time, we even got used to and had fun with online celebrations. Then DS1 settled about two hours away, which was a step closer geographically. But a couple of years after that DS2 and then-girlfriend-now-wife moved to their city over 1,000 miles away from us, and the new normal started to fall into place. I really loved the long summer breaks with some or all of them here and still miss them. It’s iterative, at least for my family.
Empty nest is heavenly, but I just flew across the country to see my son, a college freshman. Will see him in 60 minutes. Cannot wait for the youngest one to show me his new environs and new life of learning! He will enjoy showing his Papa around.
@bloomfield88 enjoy your visit with your son! I’m jealous you get to live in Charleston. Both of our daughters live there.
We are settling in to the empty house but itching to move. The job search has been a frustrating process for husband.
Downsizing question- we plan to downsize but is it crazy to still want 3 guest rooms for all the kids. I think 1-2 rooms could double as office, reading or art space. Two are still in college and need rooms for the next 2 years for breaks. Oldest is married but hope they will visit more once we are closer.
The best parts so far have been the lack of craziness surrounding the college app process and cooking. After 2 consecutive years of apps, it is a relief. We are both stressed at work so no home stress has been helpful. It is also wonderful to cook with no complaints or accounting for picky taste buds.
Looking forward to the holidays and a fuller house!
How is everyone else doing???
@drewsmom17, we are wrestling with the same thing. I work out of a home office but we would want probably 2 separate BRs, but these could have a dual function. One of our friends did a vacation house with rooms with Murphy beds.
Our two children are living together in a 4 BR condo in San Francisco that my son found when he knew his sister and her BF were moving out. Two of his business school buddies are the other two roommates. We will be heading out there for Thanksgiving. They both check in with us regularly, but we are thrilled that they are living together.