<p>Hi, I'm in my 2nd semester of college but it's my first time dorming. Last semester I was living at home with my parents, commuting from really far away, and working long hours (it was unavoidable) so I basically missed out on the social aspect of college. I made one good friend, but she is studying abroad this semester and I won't see her until Fall. </p>
<p>Now I'm living on campus and working fewer hours, so I have more time to socialize, but it's been a month into the new semester and I'm having trouble meeting people. I go to an urban school and the social scene is very impersonal and disconnected (no greek scene or parties on campus, everyone goes clubbing and I'm only 17). No one on my floor seems friendly; when I say "hi" to people in the hall or elevator, sometimes people just seem surprised or don't answer (they're used to the antisocial atmosphere I guess). I feel like everyone's already made friends and isn't really looking for more. </p>
<p>My classes are generally large lectures, although I've met some friendly people in labs. I joined 3 clubs but they only meet once every couple of weeks so I haven't really made friends that way. My job is off campus so that's not an opportunity to meet people either. My roommate is a really nice girl and we've hung out a few times but she's obsessed with anime (Asian cartoons) and manga (like anime?) and I'm not really into that. The dorming experience has been kind of disappointing so far. I'm not really "in love" with my college but it's a good school, I like it academically, and I'm on a generous scholarship which makes it cheap (no debt). Any advice?</p>
<p>Just keep doing what you’re doing. Eventually you’ll introduce yourself to enough people who want to become friends. It kinda sucks because a lot of people found friends in the 1st semester. Just be confident and you’ll make friends.</p>
<p>Starting a club is a good idea, but there must be over a hundred on campus already; there seems to be a club for everything - for every academic subject, recreational hobby, and ethnic/cultural/political/social group. There is a club for pottery, Jewish lesbians, hatha yoga, and Thai food. I can’t think of any new activity I could start a club for that I would be interested in running. Maybe I could join a sport, but I’m not sure if I have the time. </p>
<p>I just got back from a party - don’t really like the guy who invited me (used to go to high school with him) but just went to meet people. Everyone was nice enough but remained in their little subgroups and I left early because I didn’t feel like drinking since I have a migraine (I do drink socially, but not to get plastered)</p>
<p>be watchful of the people you choose as your friends. and dont get too attached to everyone. but yes get a club going, get a Facebook/Twitter and just start random conversations at the end of classes with certain people. that helps me at least</p>
<p>You said “maybe I could join a sport but I’m not sure if I have the time”. Are you taking a lot of classes? An intramural sport should only take up a couple hours a week.</p>
<p>And if you’re trying to clear up lots of free time in your schedule in order to make room for a social life, it may actually work the opposite. If you keep a busy schedule with a part-time job and extracurriculars, you’ll probably meet a lot more people that way.</p>
<p>What are your top interests? What would you like to be doing ideally? Don’t go looking to follow a crowd in whatever they might be doing. Do what you want to do, and you’ll meet people along the way.</p>
<p>There are over a thousand clubs on my campus already, so if you do come up with an idea don’t hesitate to try it out if that’s something that interests you! It is extremely rewarding.</p>
<p>“And if you’re trying to clear up lots of free time in your schedule in order to make room for a social life, it may actually work the opposite. If you keep a busy schedule with a part-time job and extracurriculars, you’ll probably meet a lot more people that way.” Definitely true.</p>
<p>OP- It can be rough for someone who missed all the first semester orientation and social activities. If you can find one or two clubs or intermural sports to join, you will have the chance to grow some friendships. Common interests are the best bond, as you will have things to talk about, and enthusiasm to demonstrate. </p>
<p>Sorry to hear the mood is unfriendly, but if you continue to be friendly and positive, chances are at least a few people will respond and connect.</p>
<p>Friendships should happen naturally I would think. Just be yourself and don’t look for anything. Other people don’t have something that you “need”. Of course that’s easier said than done. I’m in a similar situation- its just I really just don’t click with the people in my school- most of them anyway and I don’t think you should feel bad or let it get to you personally. It is what it is.</p>
<p>I keep reading advice on this forum like, “Keep your door open so people will say hi!” but it’s not like that here - people don’t even say hi in the hallway or elevator usually, let alone drop by a random person’s room. The doors don’t even stay open, they automatically close. It’s an urban school and there are no frat parties or anything. Everyone just goes clubbing and stuff and I’m only 17 - plus I can’t really go out with friends until I meet people. My roommate is a nice girl and we’ve hung out a couple times but she just likes to sit in the dorm and watch anime (an asian cartoon she likes).</p>
<p>I know friendships should come naturally, but it’s making me anxious. Up until college, I always had a group of good friends to hang out with all the time, I was never the odd one out. Now it’s halfway through second semester and I don’t have anyone I’m close to here.</p>
<p>It was a good start to join some clubs. I think that is definitely the best way to meet people. However, since they only meet every couple weeks, look for something that meets a bit more frequently. This will probably be clubs dealing with more serious material, but it could be anything. I can see how it would be hard to make friends when you don’t see each other for several weeks. All four of the clubs that I’m in meet more than once a week, and I’ve made some great friends that way. And yeah, everyone seems to make their friends in the fall and then stop looking for more. I’ve had experience with that.</p>
<p>I’ve been in, and still am in the same situation even after i transferred to a new school. I went to a horribly pretentious school (Rollins College, GQ’s 8th douchiest school in America), and I made some friends, but the environment was so negative, so I left. Now I’m at another private school on the opposite end, everyones lame and unaccultured. But enough about me. My advice is, if it doesn’t feel right, transfer, or ask for a new rooming assignment. You only have 4 years, so if you know in your heart something doesn’t feel normal, get heck out, or do something radical to fix it, otherwise it’ll be a bad college experience. If you do transfer, though, don’t be rash in your next choice. HEAVILY research where ever your considering, and be proactive. I can’t stress this enough. Anyways, I know what your going through. Everyone I know going to big state schools, like UF, FSU, UCF, UT, A&M, all absolutely love it their. Maybe think of a different type of school? Of course, consider the pros and cons of a bigger/public vs. private institution.</p>
<p>It’s harder in an urban environment…I transferred into one and it was slow going making connections with people at school. I dormed over the summer and then got an apartment so that made it even harder, but eventually I made a few friends. However, in an urban environment you are not religated to only college connections. You have the whole city to meet people. All you need is one friend to go out with to hang out at neighborhood bars. You don’t have to be 21 to get in. I used to hang out at a bar across the street from where I lived and I met a lot of people there. It became my hang out and there were a bunch of others that hung out there as well so it became our group. There must be some college hangout bars/restuarants right around the school you could stop at for lunch, dinner, drinks, coffee, etc. After a while you get to know the others who stop by and the people that work there and it becomes more comfortable. </p>
<p>Otherwise, you’re joining activities and working and doing all the right things. Give it more time.</p>