2nd semester. Becoming more social.

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>Hi all,</p>

<p>This is my first post. I'm a freshman (male) in the 3rd week of my second semester. Im seeking some advice and feedback!</p>

<p>So i pretty much skipped my way through first semester. It was kind of a time to get used to the college life (of course) and my classes and stuff. I made MANY acquaintances, but not very many friend friends. I mostly attribute this to my natural introverted personality (until i am comfortable in a situation, then i am extremely extrovert.. its weird but thats how i am)</p>

<p>I also partially (well, largely) contribute it to the fact that i'm rooming with a high school friend. I'm glad at times that we room together, because we like the same TV shows, have the same sleep schedules, etc., but he is the most antisocial person ever! He keeps saying he hopes he will make friends in his classes, but he never shows any interest in making any social connections. If he doesn't have to be at class, or somewhere else, then he is always in the dorm mostly laying around and laughing stupidly at and repeating lines from TV shows. When i got him to come with me to watch Newark Mayor Corey Booker give a speech at my college, he past at least 2 girls (who were attractive i might add) who are in his classes. They both said hi but he just kind of brushed them off (he has a girlfriend back home, so maybe that has something to do with it?)</p>

<p>Anyways, i feel like his antisocial-ness has rubbed off on me a bit. </p>

<p>Jump to winter break, where i just enjoyed myself at home for a month, it was great.</p>

<p>I came back to school for a week, and it was kind of hard to adjust again, but the next weekend my family went on our annual excursion to a state park. It was a great time with me and my cousins (we are really close), and when i had to go back to school after that, i went from a loving environment to feeling so alone. Theres nothing like the relationship i have with my family at college, and it made me feel absolutely awful. </p>

<p>As a result, i decided i NEED to change my ways, make new friends on campus, and become more social overall. </p>

<p>In the last 4 days i've:</p>

<p>Had a movie night with some people on my floor (Lord of the Ring FTW!), made myself go to a fundraiser rock band thing, where i met someone i've been friends with on facebook but never talked to, went to dinner with that person (ate in the cafe for one of the first times) and ran into my suitemate (across the bathroom roommate) and found out that he and the girl i met know each other, so we all ate together. </p>

<p>Baby steps i know, but thats more than i've almost done the first semester socially (besides work backstage on a couple plays)...
SO</p>

<p>..do you think i'm on the right track? Any advice to getting better at this? Sorry for ranting, i just wanted to see what everyone thinks!</p>

<p>Thanks
Dan</p>

2

<p>Are you sure we don’t have the same roommate? Coming from someone who was once in a similar situation I understand how difficult it is to be social, ESPECIALLY when your roommates/HS friends dont want to do anything. Most dorms should have events for their members to interact with each other so take advantage of that as much as possible. I know academics should come first but dont be afraid to sacrifice studying to hang out with people and make new friends.</p>

<p>My only advice is to get away from your roommate if he is dragging you down. As a sophmore I can tell you that you lose A LOT of High School friends in these college years and thats a good thing. People change and move on. Sometimes your old friends dont meet any new people and sit on their ass all day (I see it all the time). Dont let these people drag you down with them regardless of if they are your friend or not. Its always a little intimidating when you are doing something social for the first time with people you dont know that well but 9 times out of 10 you will be glad you did</p>

3

<p>YAY! A CCer who’s actually making friends! You’re on the right track, dan. Keep it up!</p>

4

<p>hi dan,
i’m totally the same way about the introverted/extroverted thing, so you’re not weird :slight_smile: and i definitely feel you about being very close with family, but you definitely are making steps in the right direction. keep that up and soon you’ll find a group of people you click with! good luck this semester!</p>