<p>This is for people who know Duke students/alumni. My daughter has applied to Duke and I am a bit concerned about her fitting in socially. We are very middle class -- two public school teachers --and if we can afford to send her, she will not have a car or much money for social activities. No designer clothes or $300 coach handbags. Are most Duke students rich or well off? Can you have a good time and "fit in" at Duke if you don't have a lot of money? My daughter worked very hard in high school and having a good time in college is very important to her.</p>
<p>You can definitely have a good time without spending a lot of money. Many people here do have a lot of money, but almost half are here on financial aid, so she definitely isn't in the minority. Duke offers a lot of activities/concerts/plays/etc. that are free or low cost ($1-$5). A lot of people go to Brightleaf Square or Franklin Street to hang out rather than to do serious shopping/partying. For example, a couple of friends and I recently took a spontaneous trip over to UNC to see the planetarium. I always end up spending way more money on laundry than on my social life. :)</p>
<p>Hi fiskelove, I know I come off extremely pro-Duke in a lot of these threads, but there are a ton of normal middle class students here who don't have all the money and resources that Duke students are unfortunately stereotyped to have. I'd say that most of my friends and I are on a good amount of financial aid and absolutely live within our means without sacrificing anything. Also, I think people incorrectly assume that people with money at Duke would flaunt it (intentionally or unintentionally). A few of my friends here live very modest lives on campus, and I'd never assume that their family had so much money. Once in a while I'd see a picture of them outside their huge house back home or see their parents drive in with really expensive cars and stay a week at the WaDuke, and I'd be mildly shocked since I would never have them pegged as a rich kid. I apologize if that sounds a little off base, but overall that's my impressions here. Trust me, we all worked really hard in high school and had that drive to get into a school like Duke. Money shouldn't (and to the most part doesn't) have an effect on having a good time at Duke. Maybe someone else on this board has had similar/completely different experiences with this.</p>
<p>You know you're going to realize that there will be RICH KIDS WHEREVER you go. I was intimidated by the whole stereotype of the rich white preppy kids at Duke, but as my guidance couselor told me, you're going to find them no matter where you go... if its Stanford, harvard, MIT, Michigan, USC, University of (random state). And plus, you're going to have to deal with rich kids in the real world. </p>
<p>I can't say anything since I'm going to Duke next year, but from what people have told me, you can find really any type of student at Duke.</p>
<p>I spend very little money on social activities at Duke and I have a great time. To be honest, there aren't a lot of opportunities to spend a lot of money in my view at Duke (only in travel to other places on the east coast). None of the people I come into contact with judge people based on if they have a car or not or what kind it is (only they try to get rides to the grocery store or somewhere off campus for dinner). I'd say people do a much better job than in high school when dealing with the whole money thing. They are more mature about it. It just isn't very important, unless your friends maybe want to go somewhere expensive for spring break, then you may have to turn that down.</p>
<p>Twinkletoes is right... You will find rich people every where. It's about learning how to deal with all different sorts of people.</p>
<p>fiskelove -</p>
<p>This is my second year at Duke and I come from a lower-middle - middle class family. I agree with the above posters and can say first hand that not having a lot of money doesn't impact one's experience at Duke. I've met people from all economic backgrounds here and almost all things my friends and I choose to do do not require lots of money. Most events on campus are free and others have just a nominal charge. I also do not have a car and have found that one seldom needs it while living on campus. If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask.</p>
<p>Are rich kids like the devil or something? lol While I'm not rich it does seem everyone is pegging rich kids as all being snobby, stuck-up, hard-to-handle, etc. It seems as if a lot of people on here are predjudiced towards people of wealth and stereotype all rich kids. Its a shame that people would think such things but apparently money is sought after but when someone has it they must be a jerk.</p>
<p>Someone sounds a little defensive! What I was trying to say was if most kids are walking around in designer clothes, carring $300 handbags, driving BMW's, going to expensive restaurants and concerts every weekend, kids like my daughter who cannot afford to do so could feel out of place. I'm certainly not saying people with money are evil, just trying to make sure my daughter finds a good fit and ends up someplace where she can have a good social life as well as a good education.</p>
<p>Coach handbags are so common now...they shouldn't even be designer handbags because EVERYONE has them all over the place, not just at Duke or other universities with students considered to be "elite" or "rich." And because they're made in China. </p>
<p>Anyway, not that many Duke students drive BMWs. Some do, but not many. Certainly not enough that would make someone who didn't have it feel out of place. Although you do see a lot of those monster trucks that shouldn't even be made in the first place because they're so huge and it sucks when the only parking space left in the lot is next to one of those...</p>
<p>I certainly don't own a Coach handbag.</p>
<p>OP is posting the same question all over. He claims that he is a school teacher from CA. I would hope a school teacher would care a bit more about the kind of education his daughter would get from these great institutions, instead about the kind of bag people would be carrying. No - $300 bag is not an authentic designer bag.</p>
<p>He's asking if she will fit in. You can get a great education at a lot of places - it's definitely smart to look for a good social fit.</p>
<p>I am the OP and I am a female public school teacher from California. Obviously I care about the quality of my daughter's education -- she has applied to many fine universities and colleges. But I also want her to have a good social fit and be happy for the next four years!! I don't want her left out of lots of social activities because she can't afford to participate. And by the way, everyone does NOT carry a $300 handbag or wear $200 jeans! My daughter would not feel comfortable on a campus where that was the norm.</p>
<p>well almost every school that has a great education, are going to have alot of rich kids. What other school's did ur daughter apply to? Because if they are at duke caliber of education, they are mostly like going to have a group of wealthy students.</p>
<p>As I see it, the question is fourfold.</p>
<p>1.) Does the campus have students like that? The answer at most elite schools is going to be yes. Possible exception for places like MIT, but not because the kids aren't rich.</p>
<p>2.) Do those students compose the "main" social scene? I won't speak for other schools, but I'd say that at Duke, those students are the dominant players in the numerically most common social scene -- frats, sororities, etc.</p>
<p>3.) Does that social scene dominate the campus? Here I'd say no. Having never once attended such a party, having had study partners who were in that group, maintaining close friendships with people in such houses, etc., I can tell you that it never once became a problem for me. I think there's plenty of room for Duke students who don't participate in that scene -- whether for financial or personal reasons or whatever. You'll find friends. You'll have things to do. Places to go.</p>
<p>4.) However, you have to ask yourself whether you'll feel comfortable independent of that. Because while there are things to do and people you'll fit in with without the handbags, there exist some people who will feel pressured indirectly.</p>
<p>For example, spring break trips to Paris or the Bahamas. Nobody is going to taunt your daughter for not going to such a place, and plenty of kids will stay behind at school with her or go home. Nobody's going to pressure her, tease her, look down on her, etc. But *some *kids will be going to such places, and some other students will internally feel pressure and resentment. Your daughter might turn out to be one of those kinds of kids.</p>
<p>fiskelove - my D is a current freshman at Duke. She receives financial aid and does not have a car at campus. Our family is also middle class and we live on the west coast.</p>
<p>She did not have much of a social life the first semester, but that was not due to being left out by rich or well off students. She was very sick her first week and missed out on the Orientation get together activities which help students meet other students. Her roommate had participated in a pre-Orientation session and was able to move into the dorm early. The roommate also had a ready made group of friends from the pre-Orientation session. As a result, she did not need to make friends with her roommate, my D.</p>
<p>While my D developed some friends she missed the close knit friendships she'd made in middle school and high school. All that changed with the second semester. At the urging of several family members, she reluctantly participated in sorority recruitment with the caveat that at the end she was not obligated to pledge a sorority. Her impression of sororities had been formed by magazine articles (i.e., the Rolling Stone article on Duke) and many popular movies. Neither I nor any members of my family were ever members of a fraternity or sorority so I had no advice to offer her regarding this option (in fact I was not very enthusiastic about the idea).</p>
<p>Being a member of a sorority has completely changed her on campus life. Sorority members acted as mentors, encouraging her to investigate other on campus groups. She has joined and is now active in two other on campus groups (and, no, these groups are not sorority member driven).</p>
<p>So, yes, it is possible to have a social life at Duke without being rich or well off - just don't be surprised when different paths you didn't expect appear for your daughter. As the saying goes - things never turn out as you plan!</p>
<p>Thanks, I really appreciate you sharing your daughter's experience.</p>
<p>Jeez, I have definitely changed my mind somewhat about Duke's student body. After hearing about all the exorbitant spring break vacations, these people have $$$$$. It's one thing to read that many Duke students are wealthy, but it's something else to hear them talk so casually about going to Costa Rica or Paris and Prague.</p>
<p>Umm...you seem to be hearing only one side of things. I go to Duke and am on financial aid (a LOT of it since I am low income). For spring break I went on the March Pwild backpacking trip which offers financial aid, so I paid about $35 for a trip that lasted about a week. As for the other breaks such as fall and thanksgiving, I stayed here along with quite a few others because I don't believe it was worth paying hundreds of dollars for a plane ticket only to go home for 4-5 days. </p>
<p>Yes, there are many students here with a lot of money, but in no way do I feel left out of the loop when it comes to my social life. People are humble and those lucky enough to have cars even offer to take those without to the malls, movies, etc. As for the previous talk about hundred dollar outfits and handbags, I would like to reinforce that Duke is a university that is definitely beyond all the foolishness that was high school. I don't believe that students are here to show up others in a childish competition to see who can have the most expensive clothes. Personally, I don't see this anywhere here at Duke. College offers a variety of social niches, all one has to do is find one. A social life can pretty much require little to no money at all (A gathering to watch a movie rented for free from Lilly library while ordering in on food points on a Friday night would cost nothing extra out of pocket) I hope this helps. I haven't posted here in forever but I saw that this thread was important enough for me to do so because I cannot stand to see someone wrongly informed about a great a school as Duke.</p>
<p>Yes, Ladro, I second your statement. </p>
<p>And I, too, was concerned with this issue when Son decided to attend Duke</p>
<p>Our son's experience has been much like yours, Ladro. He is also the beneficiary of significant financial aid. He lives off of spending money he earned over the summer. He has tons of friends, many very good friends, and no shortage of social opportunities. He does have a shortage of time to engage in said opportunities due to the rigors of his courses. </p>
<p>People with cars take people without cars with them. More fun than going to Target alone, anyway. He has encountered NO snobbishness, and many of his friends' families are extravagantly well off. (There must be snobs out there, but he doesn't know them) It probably helps that he is not interested in the Greek scene, which, I understand, has some out-of-pocket costs associated with it.</p>
<p>IMO, these students are, for the most part, way too smart to be influenced by something as silly as the bag a girl is carrying. What counts is personality and ideas. I'm pleased to report that none of my initial concerns about social/class issues have been proven to be warranted.</p>
<p>Hope this helps! </p>
<p>~Mafool</p>
<p>p.s. I spent the weekend at Duke not long ago, and went to a game and out for meals with several different people from Son's hall. Male and female, all were casually dressed: typical jeans, "trainers" and knit shirts/hoodies. And I know that these kids are from families in the uber-upper income strata.</p>