<p>
Some might suggest that Veronica is more the "hook-up" type.;)</p>
<p>I guess my younger son thinks Ike's still the President too, because he informed me at the end of the summer that "Susie and I are dating." Must be genetic. ;)</p>
<p>hh, "Make Room For Daddy" in the I like Ike Club (and D , too.). ;) </p>
<p>Is it just a definitional problem or is there really a different dynamic we are dealing with here?</p>
<p>I think that during my Mom's time, "dating" meant "we're going out Saturday night. Maybe it will turn into something else, maybe not. I am going on a date with someone else on Friday."</p>
<p>I think that after a while, some adults still do that--but what I've been talking about is kids or close to it. My kids don't "go out on a date" but my D's been dating this nice guy for more than a year. And I can't speak from experience, because I've been essentially seeing the same guy since I was 18.:)</p>
<p>So, to some people, like folks in their older twenties and up, there might be a "do you want to go out on Saturday night" approach, and that's dating. But for teens/college age/and for a while after, my experience and observations has been dating is "we're a couple".</p>
<p>Does that make any sense at all, or perhaps I'm talking in circles...Overall, I don't think we mean hugely different things.</p>
<p>This discussion brings to my mind how difficult it must still be for gay and lesbian kids, not to mention bisexual and transgendered people, to negotiate all of this. No comment beyond that; it wasn't even easy being "straight" sometimes.</p>
<p>I agree garland, I think you and I are caught up in the words but thinking essentially the same thing. </p>
<p>But those quidebooks seem to speak to something more random. The term "hookups" I'm assuming does not always mean sex, or am I wrong? The guidebooks have some students describing their school as Random Hookup U.. No dating scene. Just friends in a group, and then just someone you have sex with ( I think or maybe not. I just don't know. ). I don't seem to see the "we're going out and not having sex" part of a relationship discussed in the guidebooks much if "hook-up" invariably means sex. </p>
<p>I dunno, says "Archie". I think I'll head down to the Malt Shop and wait on Jughead.</p>
<p>I also agree with you about GLBT kids, bethievt. I mean the straight kids can't seem to get it together. It's got to be tougher by a factor of 5.</p>
<p>Oh, yeah. The hookup thing is dicey, but I think that quite a lot of students don't buy into that.</p>
<p>And bethie, I agree completely.</p>
<p>When you all figure it out, please let the rest of us know!</p>
<p>When my daughter was in middle school, "going out" was the equivalent of "s/he looked at me and talked to me today."</p>
<p>In high school, "going out" happened after spending much time in packs of friends; eventually couples formed. By that definition, my daughter has been going out with her boyfriend for more than three years. They even occasionally go on a date, but mostly they just "hang out."</p>
<p>"Hooking up" in high school (as explained to me by my daughter) meant, "I have an itch; you have an itch...let's 'scratch' one another" and was driven by hormones rather than any desire for going out.</p>
<p>I have no idea how any of this works at my daughter's school, but my daughter assures me that the serial dating of my parents' era is just not done. It does appear that by the time kids are "going out", they've already made the decision to be a couple.</p>
<p>And Veronica was definitely hook-up material...</p>
<p>Veronica was one smokin' hot two-dimensional.</p>
<p>
But how do they do that if they have never dated? It's friend then instant couple?</p>
<p>If the boy showers and puts on a clean t-shirt, and pays for the activity, I consider that a date. IMHO (tho I'm not holding to the who-pays concept)</p>
<p>I still have some original archie comic books</p>
<p>Curm, what I've seen is that the groups of friends hanging out slowly devolve/evolve (depending on your perspective) into couples. So yeah, friends===>couple.</p>
<p>I'm not so sure it was any different in my day. Thinking [way] back to my high school days, the guys I dated (went out with) were all guys I met through/with groups of friends...in my case, church youth group, summer camp, and a wilderness expedition. We didn't call it going steady, but that's in effect what it was. And except for the occasional formal dance, I rarely went out just with the guy; it was usually a group of us that had coupled up.</p>
<p>I guess I'm with Garland on this one; what you're describing as "dating" bears more resemblance to what I know of my parents' concept than to my (or my daughter's) reality. Maybe it's a regional thing?</p>
<p>P.S. I'm embarrassed to admit that, with the exception of four days in San Antonio about 15 years ago, the sum total of my knowledge of Texas culture comes from "Friday Night Lights"!</p>
<p>what do you here about this one?</p>
<p>A good friend of mine went to Vassar in the 70s and her D is there now. We visited and my S is applying. Friendly is the word I hear most, seemed like lots of creative outlets. Friend's D had trouble with the WE drinking, took over a year to find quieter friends. This is why I always recommend early ECs to find like-minded peers.</p>
<p>Bethie, my DH went to Vassar in the 1970s too--graduated in 1976. PM me with your friend's name, she probably knows my DH b/c there weren't all that many men there then. </p>
<p>Also, Betty and Veronica were like identical twins except that one had blond hair and one had black hair! That was what was so ironic about Veronica being the hot number and Betty being the wholesome, less desirable girl-next-door--they were both 38-24-36 with cute little button noses...hmm, I think I feel a master's thesis coming on....</p>
<p>Veronica had supreme confidence and was a rich bi##h. Irresistable to most men. Betty was too darn sweet & understanding. No challenge there. I know I have my original Archies in the attic somewhere.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I'm about to join StickerShock and Hereshoping in the "We Still think Ike's the President" group.
[/quote]
Geesh...How'd I get dragged into this? </p>
<p>I'm 48 and I've been dating hubby exclusively since 1977. Met him at our engineering school where the ratio of men to women was 10 to 1. He was the pick of the litter. Hung out for a while in big groups at school (both hanging onto h.s. significant others,) but eventually we did go on actual dates. First one was at Lasarium at the Hayden Planetarium at NYC's Natural History Museum. (I fell asleep, with my head tilted back, looking at stars & listening to led Zepplin.) Lots of concerts, movies, the usual. When I realized he didn't have a pot to pee in, I happily made do with skating, tennis, and other freebies. I was a cheap date. I remember tramping around junkyards helping him find parts for auto restoration & going to museums with student IDs to save $$$. He did household repairs for my widowed mother, so what's not to like? The engagement ring was modest. Hopefully d will find a keeper like him.</p>
<p>Re: hooking up. I repeatedly make the mistake of using "Let's hook up..." meaning "Let's arrange to meet at the pretzel kiosk," or "Let's meet in the lobby and we'll find seats together." I've received a few startled looks from young men before they realize I'm not a desperate housewife.</p>
<p>I have thought about this. In the beginning of any relationship, you usually have 1. flirting 2. courtship 3. relationship.</p>
<p>Where you do these things, in groups, across a crowded room, depends. Hooking up means you have physical contact while only in the flirt stage. You may never progress to courtship. Goin on a date means you have scheduled flirtation with an acknowledged progression path to courtship, which of course may or not may occur. Relationships, however, generally mean relationships, whether you call it "dating" or "going out".</p>
<p>Alu, that's what it seemed to me , also. I think. Maybe. But I'm so easily confused. Does Princeton have dating? It just seems to me that relationship can't spring fully formed from group activities. Or as usual am I missing something?</p>
<p>(One guide quoted a student as saying "we don't have much dating here. Everybody just kinda hangs out and then one day they are engaged." ?????)</p>
<p>I am now banned from speaking of anything I might know via D directly:). So let me only say that in general I understand that Princeton has a lot of hooking up, a lot of committed relationships that spring from either group activities or a pass through "hookup lane". There is also dating, i.e. boys ask girls to a scheduled social activity with the two people clearly going together and leaving together, however, somewhat less prevalent.</p>
<p>My God, what is a pass through hook-up lane? :eek: Do I want to know?</p>
<p>
LOL. When I get this 'tude coming at me I say "Yeah. Yeah. Put it on your list to tell the shrink."</p>