Son Starting to Get Cold Feet About London Summer Program!

College Majors Theater/Drama Majors
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<p>Our son is starting to get nervous about the summer program at RADA in London. He is mostly worried that the other students will have established friendships from previous schools and he will be on his own. Both weekend days are completely free, no required anything, and many, if not most, of the students will probably be a bit older than DS. </p>

<p>Tonight he said plaintively that he could envision himself on the weekend going about London so obviously alone that he is abducted and wakes up the next day with a kidney missing! It was funny and typically dramatic, but I also heard a note of real worry in his voice. </p>

<p>Of course, MY worry is that he'll be responsible for all of his own meals, as there is no dining hall or meal plan. I think he plans to exist on take-out, which isn't a very good plan for 3 1/2 weeks.</p>

<p>Should we rethink this? He started asking questions about the CMU and Northwestern summer programs, out of the blue. However, when he looked into them and saw the extensive requirements (essays, school records, etc.) he said it was almost like applying for college and if he was going to do that it would be FOR COLLEGE, not for summer as he doesn't want to do it all over again in the fall. He thought that both NU and CMU were obviously vetting students for admission, and I agreed. (They are, aren't they?) He liked the descriptions of the musical theater programs at both NU and CMU very much.</p>

<p>What to do, what to do....???? We haven't bought his tickets yet. I had planned to take him over and spend a few weeks on my own in Paris but haven't bought those tickets yet, either. We were going to let him make his own arrangements to get to the airport and come home; the school doesn't do any of that and he isn't our child with the most initiative so we thought it would be good for him to have to "do" for himself. </p>

<p>Any advice? Any other students out there planning to attend RADA this summer----not the youth/h.s. program, but the regular summer school short session? I think if he knew someone else who was going he would have a higher comfort level about it all. He's gone to sleep away summer camps since he was six (two weeks, his choice) and for longer periods as he got older until he started playing tennis seriously and got involved in summer theater. He's also lived at boarding school, so being away from parents/ home is not his fear, just having to be completely responsible for himself AND having no friends.</p>

<p>Oh, dear I'm sorry this has gotten ridiculously long, I guess it is just a protracted vent or sos for advice!</p>

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<p>skipsmom, I will try and help where I can. I don't know much about RADA, I will say that upfront. But I have spent a lot of time in London and have had the experience of sending a high schooler to a summer program in Europe. Your son may do absolutely FINE, but he may not. It sounds like there is a lot of unfilled time in this program, and, depending on his maturity level, it may be too much. I don't know about previous friendships formed, but if he is the kind of kid who always makes friends wherever he goes (common with theatre kids) he will probably be fine and make wonderful friends.</p>

<p>That said, a couple of things. My D did the CMU program last summer as a rising junior and is applying, as a rising senior this summer to, among other programs, the NU one. I don't believe either program is really vetting students. It is true that CMU usually takes a few, and I mean like 1-3 students, from auditions at the end of the summer into CMU if they are rising seniors. But last year I think there were well over 100 kids. They will eventually only take about 8 kids into their MT program and a few more into their straight acting program so I don't believe the rigorous application process has to do with that. That said, if you get applications into CMU pre-college in a timely manner (and I must say, it is getting late, you should call them) and take the application seriously, you are admitted. I can't really speak to the NU program, but I have heard it is more selective but it would seem that nothing would be lost by applying.
The CMU program gives kids some free time on the weekends but they are generally very busy. My D LOVED the program and has friends from all over the country from it. The training was great, especially for students who plan on auditioning for college programs. If you have any more specific questions, please PM me. RADA might be perfect for him, but I am sympathetic to your qualms.</p>

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<p>The whole time I was reading your post until the very end, I thought you meant the RADA program for high school students. I have a current HS junior who will be attending RADA for three weeks this summer. She doesn't know anyone. She has been away to several summer programs before. My own kids have been away to summer programs every summer and where they did not know anyone at first (including a travel program to Europe). Granted, these programs did not have students on their own unsupervised. While a bit older than that, one of my D's studied abroad for a semester and knew nobody at first. </p>

<p>I don't quite understand your assumption that the other kids will already know one another? I would have assumed that wasn't so but I am not aware enough about it there. But often at such programs, nobody knows anyone. When my D was 18, she did a summer program at Harvard and knew nobody and people came from all over the world. So, I'm not sure he will stand out as not knowing anyone. </p>

<p>The fact is, your son has been away from home a lot already and should do fine. Yes, he will have some independent time but that is what college is like and it is just a year sooner. He'll make friends in his program and have people to do things with. </p>

<p>I do not believe that CMU or NU's pre-college programs are meant to vet students. An extremely small percentage of those who do the CMU pre-college are ever admitted to the BFA at CMU. As HSN wrote, getting into CMU is not that hard (but indeed there is a lot ot the application) and it is more about the timing of your application (it is getting quite late in that regard). NU is harder to get into but not so impossible or anything. But that also has an application that is kinda like a college application. I have helped students with these applications and the positive side of it is that when they applied to college the following fall, they had some pieces like their activity resume or an essay in the bag that sorta gave them a step up when we started working on the college applications. But if your son doesn't want to do all that work now, I would go with his plans. He obviously was into RADA all along and should be fine. I will assume since he has gone away from home for school and for summer programs, he'll be in better shape than those who have not. He is growing up and the independence of the free time at the summer program will be good as he is about to start college and have plenty of free time unsupervised then too. I interviewed a boy recently for college who lives in rural Vermont and he did a summer program at Harvard and talked to me about all the independence he had in Boston, like a college student would have. He liked it and he matured from it.</p>

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<p>PS....is there a reason he didn't apply to the HS age program at RADA?</p>

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<p>One more PS...if it were my 17 year old, I would look into the methods of transportation to and from the airport and help him with that ahead of time and figure it out together and have a plan that he calls you, etc.</p>

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<p>Yes, we will definitely go over all the travel plans to and fro. However, he will have to be the one who gets himself to the train station and to the airport and essentially will choose the method of getting there. </p>

<p>We did not go with the high school program because their musical theater section has been oversubscribed for months, and there is already a long waiting list. That would mean he would go over for only two weeks of the three available, and he wanted a longer program than that. When I spoke with someone at RADA initially she asked about his background and age, and she suggested he send in an application for the regular short summer session.</p>

<p>As a "regular" student he has classes Monday through Friday and that's it---no meals together, which is a huge lack of the social aspect he's used to, and although they "try" to put summer students near each other in the dormitory rooms, there is no guarantee that they have to. So, he could end up going to class M-F and being completely on his own the rest of the time. </p>

<p>He's done summer tennis intensives, community theater, has had a part-time job teaching tennis, etc. but he has not been really on his own. Pre-college programs do account for most of the student's time, even on weekends. Our other kids have done Duke TIP programs and political intensives at schools like Georgetown, and they are all run pretty similarly because the college accepts responsibility for the underage student. This program doesn't.</p>

<p>I've considered just staying in England for the three weeks, doing a bit of traveling instead of coming home... I wouldn't consider that a hardship :) </p>

<p>Honestly, I think he will be fine once he is settled, he is very outgoing. With respect to the fear that the other kids will know each other, it's just a worry that he'll be the odd man out----that they'll be friendly enough but that he will still end up eating and going about on the weekends alone. It's because he IS such a social kid that that prospect does not appeal to him at all!</p>

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<p>Personally, I know my parents would never let me do it. This isn't even because of my age or anything. I am also very mature for my age. They just wouldn't do it because of the safety issue. I mean it's not like its your front lawn, it's across the globe. I would never let my kids do it without going with them. I think it's different if people were watching him. NYU has programs in Paris and Dublin, which seems to fit your son better. It is too bad the application is way passed its deadline. I may do it next year, but will need a scholarship. You seem like you could afford it though. I would definitely suggest that you go. I see that your in Georgia and London can be a culture shock for him. Also, these days I would be afraid because of terrorists and people may take advantage of him because he is American. They may rip him off such on a taxi, but that's is more with anyone not just a teenager.</p>

<p>Good Luck!</p>

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<p>In my view, your son is going off to college in another year where he will be living in a situation like this. Only you can say if he could handle it one year early. Some can, some can't. Your son, from your description, seems like he could given he has done programs away from home and is social. But I don't know him. When my kids were in high school, they did summer programs away from home (one did one through Europe) but these were supervised. However, my youngest child went off to college in Manhattan at age 16 (though had graduated HS). This is after growing up in a rural community that is the most opposite extreme to NYC as you can practically get in the US. She fared just fine. But I think it is a very individual consideration.</p>

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<p>skipsmom, I think we are all saying that finally it is up to you and your son. There is no "right" answer. Maybe you want to do one or two applications for programs that are still open, like Northwestern, to cover yourself. But I have a feeling he will be fine. And it's not like there will be a language issue! Even supervised programs usually have some unsupervised time, my D was in Spain on a Putney program and she certainly had some, uh, challenging times in Madrid but as long as she was with a group I felt like she'd be okay, and she was. Good luck!</p>

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<p>To the OP: I think there are no right or wrong answers here. If you guys decide together that he is just too anxious about it and doesn't go, it's not the end of the world. It's not as if he won't get into a great college when he auditions because he didn't do the RADA summer program. :)</p>

<p>This is all about your comfort level and his. If he doesn't feel up to doing it now, he can do it another summer, right? He's young; he has plenty of time. </p>

<p>In my view, he is the only one who knows for sure if he is ready for this kind of experience and as parents, you should encourage him to spread his wings but make sure to reassure him, too, that there is no shame at all in deciding against doing it now if he doesn't feel ready. The program is NOT some kind of test he has to pass; it's a nice option for training. It's not mandatory.</p>

<p>In other words, he should not feel embarrassed to change his mind. Just my opinion.</p>

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<p>I don't know if you are able to, but if it were me in his position I would suggest you accompany him to London and stay a couple days (maybe with your husband in the city?) and meet him on a weekend, then take off back to the states after one weekend. I would feel a lot more comfortable if that was my situation.</p>

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<p>Socalscott, that is about what I've decided to do, almost exactly. Unfortunately, my husband can't get away to go with me, but I won't have any trouble staying busy in London for a week or so.</p>

<p>Thanks for all these replies. I think he is just literally getting cold feet! He isn't embarrassed about his concerns, just almost surprised that he didn't think of it before. </p>

<p>I think this will be a very good experience for him. He needs a little more adult responsibility, as in keeping a calendar, keeping track of his own appointments, etc. In our family the girls have been very good about that and the boys have almost needed a secretary. If he is going to manage to get through the application process next fall---and I will help, but I am not going to mastermind it for him----he needs to learn to rely on himself a bit more.</p>

<p>early college, although we live in a small town our son has been to Europe (and London) several times already. He's a very experienced traveler, having been to places as diverse as Japan and S.A. We looked into the NYU programs abroad and he wasn't interested; he's been to those cities, so that wasn't a draw. A terrorist attack could also happen in NYC or Chicago.... we aren't going to let a fear like that shape our lives although we did NOT allow our daughter go with another college age girl to Egypt by themselves last summer after they left Europe!</p>

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<p>If he already went to London then why would he want to go there again? That's why you said he didn't want to do the NYU trips. I think it's different, because he will be alone. But anyway we can't tell you what to do. You will make the right choice. Good Luck!</p>

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<p>I'm sorry, my remark wasn't very clear. :( I meant that he wasn't as interested in the NYU programs as RADA's, and since he's been to both those citiies the prospect of visiting them wasn't a real draw. </p>

<p>He's actually been to London four times and loves it. You can't go to London too many times, lol; we make it the gateway city whenever we go to Europe. </p>

<p>I think you are right, he will make the right choice for him, whatever that is. Thanks for your concern, early college, I do appreciate your perspective as a young person yourself!</p>

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<p>Yes, I understand. I personally never been to London, and I wouldn't be drawn there. Also, why is there no kids on here asking these questions? Are these teens intrested in the programs? It seems like these forums are more for parents and not for people like me.</p>

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<p>early_college, there <em>are</em> students like you on these boards. It's just that many wouldn't be drawn to a thread titled "Son starting to get cold feet about London," most likely. The word "son" would signal this is a thread that is addressed to other parents, in general, though it's always great to get a student's point of view. :)</p>

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<p>Enjoy your time in London!</p>

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<p>The Theater/Drama threads and the MT threads are full with juniors and seniors in high school, as well as current college theater students, along with parents of such students. As you are a freshman in high school, you are younger than most on these forums but it is good that you are learning about all there is to find out and from many who are past the step you are at in your schooling.</p>

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<p>I was just talking about this thread in general, the Theater/Drama. I know there others, but more people go to "What are my Chances" thread. This thread is more full of parents I think. I would think there would be some professors or teachers on here. I also rather not wait until my senior year to have a plan. I know what I want and I think that's great.</p>

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<p>I agree that you should not wait until senior year to figure out your college plans and to look into options. I think the beginning of junior year is just fine to start that process and before then, to concentrate on training, school, and being aware of what's out there.</p>