Son won't do Honors essay!!

<p>I have tried in vain to get my son to complete his essay for UCLA Honors to no avail. He's driving me nuts! I understand that he is so burned out from college app essays that he won't even think about it. He says "it's not that important Mom". But, when I read the threads regarding priority in choosing classes, (he won't go on CC) I believe it will truly help at least his freshman year. Am I wrong? Should I keep hounding him or let it go? Thanks! :)</p>

<p>You hounded him to get into UCLA. I don't see anything with hounding him to finish his essay.</p>

<p>In terms of my father, "You live under my household, you're going to do what you're told!"</p>

<p>No Castel, I didn't even know he applied to UCLA. He is very independent to the point of driving me nuts!</p>

<p>^...lol</p>

<p>If he doesn't want to do it, don't force him. Honors is sooo annoying (at least it seems that way to me). I didn't get into honors when I first got into UCLA, and I just joined recently to get priority enrollment for my junior year classes. I think it is definitely worth it (for priority), but the whole BS of taking extra classes is really worthless</p>

<p>karagon7,</p>

<p>I didn't know you were a parent, I thought you were a student because of your other [url=<a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/1060292631-post4.html%5Dpost%5B/url"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/1060292631-post4.html]post[/url&lt;/a&gt;]. Just saying.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>burnout is legit... senioritis really does suck. and being told to do something... well that hardly ever works as motivation. but if he was motivated enough to apply (and get in!) to UCLA, it's pretty inconsistent with his own self not to write a lousy 500 words.</p></li>
<li><p>honors isn't annoying, IMO. to me it was a good way to explore my interests and take some small classes with dedicated profs. also, if you take a cluster your first year, that's 15 honors units right there!!!</p></li>
<li><p>your son has a fair point in that applying isn't too important right now (i say this only if he is planning to take a cluster). with the 15 units (which will count retroactively once he DOES apply), he won't be behind in any way if he applies his first year. also, clusters give you priority for winter and spring quarters. however, he needs a 3.5 GPA when he does apply, and you can't always count on that happening.</p></li>
<li><p>if your son is eligible to be in college honors now, it's better to just suck it up and do it rather than count on a 3.5 later on. also, once you're in, you just need 8 honors units per year and a 3.2 GPA to stay in college honors.</p></li>
<li><p>bottom line... it's 500 words. sure it's a hassle of sorts, but it's a bigger hassle if you wait. and i would say it's worth it, not just for priority, but the other perks. as for extra classes that depends on how you plan things out, and doesn't need to necessarily add a lot of work. so... he should just write the darn thing. we all did it (even with our senioritis).</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Helicopter parent...</p>

<p>no, not helicopter parent. read her posts.
parents just don't like when we teens don't live up to our potential... and seeing as her son had the initiative to apply to ucla on his own, and now can't write 500 words? i'd be annoyed too!</p>

<p>college is a time for transitioning into responsibility for ones own decisions and actions. I understand why a parent would want to look out for their kids best interest, but at some point your son needs to own his own life. There are probably still times when a parent should hound/insist on some course of action, the problem is deciding when. I'd say the guideline should be the importance. If he needs to fill out an essay so that he gets a scholarship so he can pay for college, probably worth it. However in this case the cost he'll pay for not doing the essay is not getting priority in enrolling for classes. Some day he'll realize he should have done it, but the cost of not doing so isn't going to wreck his life. </p>

<p>I say let it go. In fact I kinda wonder if he's refusing to do it out of principle; even though he knows you're right, he doesn't want to be told what to do anymore and he's willing to refuse to do it just to show his independence. My advice is to transition into more of an advisor than a director; tell him about useful things you find and share your advice based on your accumulated wisdom as an adult, let him decide whether or not he pursues them. When I see you write "I have tried in vain to get my son to complete his essay" I get the sense you're pushing too hard. You need to let him make decisions, and accept the fact that he's not always going to make good ones. As the saying goes, "wisdom comes from experience, and experience comes from making mistakes".</p>

<p>What's his major? I'm doing engineering at UCLA and I'm happy I didn't apply into the honors program. I think its a good idea for most other majors though.</p>

<p>My son procrastinated on the essay but he finally did it. It took him all of 30min. According to the website, essay only needs to be 250 words Admission</a> to College Honors</p>

<p>I wouldn't worry about it though cuz he can always apply later if he keeps his grades up and weighs the benefits of the program on his own..</p>

<p>
[quote]

I'm doing engineering at UCLA and I'm happy I didn't apply into the honors program.

[/quote]

Because you couldn't :rolleyes:</p>

<p>If he doesn't want to do it, don't force him. You aren't going to be there when he writes term papers in college, it's time for him to do it on his own. If he doesn't want to do honors, oh well. He isn't going to learn anything by you forcing him to do it.</p>

<p>Thanks liyana: I truly do not believe I'm not a 'helicopter parent'. My son has always been in charge of his own education/life. He is very independent and responsible and has never needed us to stay on top of him for anything. (except cleaning his room:)) Since he is always so busy with sports, clubs, etc...I try to stay on top of deadlines for him which he has always appreciated. I'm just frustrated with the fact that he will not take a moment to sit down and read about the benefits to the honors program. I guess I'll just take Mikemacs excellent advice and let him learn from this probable mistake.</p>

<p>electrifice: his major is pre-bus econ</p>

<p>


</p>

<p>Double negation! The horror!</p>

<p>first of all you just need to make sure he knows how important honors priority is... I didn't get into two of my classes because of priority(they filled even before my first pass with soph standings) once he understands the importance it is really up to him to decide whether he wants to do it or not, sure he might be tired from all the essays and get into college but that doesn't mean he should just slack off and don't do work to set up a better future... I had similar problem for myself since i was really independent in terms of school and stuff, my parents didn't know I was gonna take the SAT til the morning of the test when I left at 7 to go take it, they always thought i would just go to community college since I didn't study for 5 hours every night :( but after all im glad they didn't care much and didn't put so much pressure on me... so my point is it is important of you guiding your son in the right direction but don't be a commander and tell him what to do, lay out the facts and have him make the decision</p>

<p>^ very much agreed.</p>

<p>he should make his own decision, so long as it's informed. if he's just sick of writing essays, that's not an excuse. trust me that kind of behavior pattern is not gonna help once he gets to college (been there done that...) if he decides not to do the application because he weighed the pros and cons, then fine ;)</p>

<p>tell him the honors essay is a joke and most people get in (if they meet the requirements). I wrote mine in 20 minutes</p>

<p>Thanks everyone for all the good advice. He said he will try and get to it tonight after his BB game and homework. :)</p>

<p>GrassPuppet: You are funny! Sorry for confusing you.</p>