Soon the Freshmen will be coming home, now what?

<p>garland: It's not that I don't love my son, or want to spend time with him, but that we all, as a family, agreed that we would not move into a bigger space (because it would cost so much more) but would just be cramped until son graduated and went to college.</p>

<p>We are so excited about having DD home for part of the summer (she's been invited by her grandparents to go to Europe for three weeks), but I will say the house is so much more clean and organized when she is away. She'll be working her butt off when she returns from her trip, so I don't suspect we'll see much of her. It also means I'll go back to cooking two meals at dinner ... one for the carnivores (DH and me) and one for the vegetarian (DD) which is a PIA, but it's worth it. I really do look forward to what little time we'll have together.</p>

<p>S1 was home for half the summer last year. He worked his old job at the grocery store and ran around with all the old high school friends who had come home too. The hardest part was melding his independent college self with the back home with the parents self. We got a long fine but really saw very little of him as he was either working or out with friends and usually came in after we were in bed ( yes, we're old fuddy duddies and are always in bed by 11:00 if not before). </p>

<p>You S is used to being independent and making his own rules at college. You'll have to decide how much "independence" works with living at home for the summer and let him know.</p>

<p>I can't wait till my sophomore son comes home. I haven't seen him since winter break. He spent last summer home working a summer job. It was great having him home. He enjoyed the slower pace and just hanging out with his family and friends. He never complained that he was bored. He told me he loved the slower pace knowing it would be crazy again when he returned in the fall. He will be working again this summer. But in August, his new college girlfriend will visit!</p>

<p>Daughter will be home for one week (and only because we have tickets to "Spamalot"), then go back to work at the college for the summer.</p>

<p>Traditionally, there is not a lot of work for the college kids in his hometown during the summer. We are in an economically depressed area. Last year he was able to snag a few temp jobs. Hopefully the same will happen this year. I don't expect him to be employed full time. The prospect of "no job" bothers me. I would set the rules of "You will work or else" but it's not a guarantee around here. He was chomping at the bit to get back to school at the end of the 3 week Christmas break. I can just see him going stir crazy here in SmallTown USA. I am not in charge of his life anymore, remember? He is making his own decisions and applying or not applying for jobs through the university. I can't "make" him do it....or should I try? I think I will be biting my tongue not to say " I told you so" by mid-summer. I know he needs a break. This year has been intense. Coming home and reconnecting with hometown friends may be the best thing he can do.</p>

<p>As far as the curfews go...........well he didn't have any before he left for school. I lightened up on them the few months before he left. I knew the crowd of kids he was running with and didn't have to worry about him. </p>

<p>momoffive</p>

<p>what summer camp is your daughter working at. My son (will be freshman at NYU) has been going to Golden Slipper for years (this will be his 11th).</p>

<p>I think that it is important to remember when your kids come home for the summer that they are no longer high school students. They have been staying out until 2 or 3 AM. They have been setting their own schedules, eating what they want when they want it, etc. Trying to impose rules on them is going to lead to a lot of frustration on everyone's part.</p>

<p>With our boys, we have worked under the rule of common courtesy and it seems to have worked well for us. So if they are planning on being out very late, they need to let us know, not because we are nosy but because we don't want to lay awake all night worrying. With only 2 cars and 5 drivers, plans need to be made about who needs cars when. Employment gets priority over fun. If you aren't going to be home for dinner, let me know ahead of time. Help with chores, continue to do your own laundry.</p>

<p>When we have treated them like young adults we have not had any problems. As far as sending them back, to be honest it is easier after they have been gone for a while. It is great to have them home, but you get used to not having to adjust your life to them.</p>