Soozie: how's your daughter?

<p>Hi again everyone. I must say that again, I am overwhelmed with the warmth of my CC internet buddies. It is just amazing. I should have posted more recently but have not, my bad. I actually have not been able to keep up with everything and everyone on CC lately though have read selected posts but am so behind here in reading as much as I normally would have liked particularly as it is such a climax to the CC year for families with seniors. I have read many of your WONDERFUL success stories and trials and tribulations and have missed some along the way. I have not kept up with posting as much though. I also participate on CC's Musical Theater College Forum since that set of "friends" are all going through the same very specific type of college process as my graduating child has gone through which differs in many ways from the normal parent discussions here and so I have tried to keep up there too but that misses you guys, my original and solid core of CC friends. I also want to tell those of you on this forum who have sent me emails and even gifts to my child, that I feel embarrassed at how long it is taking me to get back to each person and it tops my to-do list. I have been addressing the pile of about 50 thank you notes my child has written and I have my own to do still. You know who you are and please forgive me the time it is taking. My time this past month (wow, I just realized it is a month today since her accident!) just has not been "my own" so to speak, or simply life has not been the "normal" routine. </p>

<p>So, to update you....forgot where I left off last time but anyway....she was on ordered bed rest for ten days at home following the ten at the hospital and we had a hospital bed rented and set up in the living room. That already was a great step. She had numerous friends coming over each day and it went pretty well but of course meant lots of waiting on someone who cannot do for themselves. We had visiting nurses for a bit and I have learned to give my child a daily shot each day in her stomach no less and she hates it but has gotten used to it (we have a routine, don't ask). It is hard to see your child suffer or be in pain but overall, each day got better and better and she was able to do more and more. Then she got off bed rest about 12 days ago (thankfully during this ordeal, lots of happy college news kept coming and I shudder to think opening lots of let downs during an already down time, and what that might have been like). Her first venture out of the house a week ago was to get a new haircut (hey she is a teen girl, afterall). She is on crutches and is not allowed to put any weight on the leg where she broke the pelvis. She got to move back to her room upstairs and manages to get around given the circumstances and the pain too and the hip precautions she is under. She has had followup visits with the doctors....lots of things are now passed and done with ....like liver is healed (that doctor says she is done with him, she can plays sports now if she likes, lol, yeah right, on one foot...but that part is not his domain). Basically the things she is left with are the two things we knew would take a while....the fractured pelvis (it's a long process but involves full recovery) and also her lower back had a de-gloving injury that takes a long time to heal (thank God it is only that now because the what ifs with that did not sound too great but it seems she is at a low risk at this point) and so that is painful and so is the hip but she is still on pain meds which help but still hurts if sits a while, stuff like that. </p>

<p>Then she went to dress rehearsal and opening night of our school musical at the end of last week and it was bittersweet for her. She wanted to go really badly because that was the show she had been rehearsing for and in which she had many good friends, including a boyfriend she was to have played opposite from and her best friend who took over for her role in the show due to the accident. However, it was sad for her as well because this was to be her last show on this stage, having played leads there since seventh grade. She even said on the way to the show how she knows I would have normally commented about how this was the last show, etc. etc. like I did last year at this time with her older sister, as we got to her last game, last recital, etc. There was mention of her in the program and her career on this stage. Most of all, given the small nature of our community, people were overjoyed to see this child alive and vertical at the school...as so many turn out to watch and were amazed that she was able to come. That part was great. </p>

<p>Then, and I know this might sound unreal after only being out of the house for two days and it only being 3 1/2 weeks since her accident, we took her to NYC because we thought she might be able to handle it and she had been invited to some events at the college she had decided to attend and it was this past weekend. My husband and I both went and we went all the way by car, so that one could drop her off and one could help her...she was able to go into all events on her crutches and then we rented a wheelchair to go from building to building at the university in the city. </p>

<p>She has decided to go to NYU/Tisch and got into their BFA program for musical theater which is called CAP21, though she was happy about all her acceptances. Her best friend from summer camp also was there and spent the night in our hotel room and that was a treat too. She may not be going to this college, not sure yet. Anyway, the first event was by invitation to selected admitted students to Tisch and that was good and there were some parts for parents, some for the kids. We also got to talk informally with kids in the program and that was beneficial. Then my D was also invited to a luncheon for University Scholars at Tisch, something she had been selected for recently. There were deans and admissions people at this, about 15 admitted kids and their parents and about a half dozen current Scholars at it. This was an interesting thing and I am glad we went cause it seemed very exciting. They explained how they chose these 15 kids...how it was not just scores and grades (made sense to me cause while hers are good, they would not stand out to this extent among the applicants), but they went through the pile of 1000 admitted kids to all of Tisch, narrowed it to 150, and then down to this group...looking for kids who had drive and who were leaders and involved in their community and who they saw as future leaders in the arts. The more they spoke, the more I could see how this was a perfect "match" for my child as far as this little "program" goes. We did not even know such a thing existed until she got the notification but now that she has, she even said that unknowingly, her whole application really dovetailed with what this was about....her annotated resume, her essays and her recs all spoke to this kind of profile....particularly several activities she had done in recent years. Anyway, this is like a little "niche" or family within a much larger university. Actually Tisch is a subset of the university, then drama is her department and then she will belong to her studio, CAP21 which has about 60 kids per year in it, but then she has this little group (Univ. Scholars) that totals 70 kids across the four years and these faculty/deans associatd with them. University Scholars have no additional coursework or homework but they do meet every other Friday and it is like a seminar but with invited guests in the arts and they go to shows and other arts things in the city often centered on a theme like Leadership in the Arts, and so forth. Then during spring break of freshman year, the freshman Scholars go with these deans/faculty to a community in Appalachia in Kentucky, called Appalshop, which is a center where they have gotten arts going in this neck of the woods. They spend a week with these arts people in that community and the current students said it was a lifechanging experience. It is all expenses paid. Then in soph or Junior year, they go on an all expense paid trip to another country (this year it was Viet Nam and it has been places like Brazil, Cuba, Ghana, in the past...they are looking now into Russia) over winter break and they work with those in the arts there. The current kids spoke of their incredible time in Viet Nam. Also there were other perks or advantages to being part of this group....bonding....also close ties with these deans/faculty....someone who advocates for them when they need something at NYU, stuff like that. Seemed really great to my daughter. Then got the sweatshirt, the car decal, stuff for the GC, she's going!</p>

<p>Then she got back in time for the final curtain to the school show, late cast party, overnight, um....very very long day...nuts. So, she has missed four weeks of school and we are in the midst of working all of that out with them (has not been that smooth but am confident it all work will out and there is a big staffing regarding it tomorrow, fun)...She is under a certain law for kids in this situation and the person administrating it is aligned with our wishes so I think once we get everyone on the same page, we can work out the details. She did a little school the past three days, but has yet to make it through an entire day, maybe tomorrow. Luckily we have school vacation next week. </p>

<p>TO BE CONTINUED BELOW>>>>>>>></p>

<p>Her spirits are good. She is in physical therapy now outside the home. She is certainly disappointed to be missing things that mean a lot to her at her age and due to her passions....her musical, all her many dance performances after ten years at her studio, her final ones, plus her repertory troupe's spring tour of performances, and various other things too. She can now go to prom which conflicted originally with her dance shows. Right now, all her summer plans.....three weeks back at her beloved theater camp (8th summer), a professional show locally (but with NY actors) that she was cast in already, and then a summer musical theater program she has just created with a friend that they will direct for kids ages 9-14 in August where they will not only teach classes to them but create a musical theater cabaret for the kids to put on (this is her earning money part of the summer). Those things are still a go for now. She will have to work hard to get into condition to be ready for college and dance, in particular, in September but is highly motivated because she worries about it a lot cause right now, this is the opposite of her usual lifestyle and her life is truly the stage. Luckily, in terms of the bigger picture, she'll be back to all those things when it really matters. </p>

<p>Fredo.....first let me wish your daughter a very speedy recovery and all my thoughts to you as well and how hard it is to have your child endure this and also be away from home but luckily you could get there. Believe me, I know, as I had to drive three hours from the point when I got the phone call from a motorist with my D on the side of the road to where she was taken and it was a helluva drive but I am proud of staying fairly calm, or in shock, not sure which. Weird thing that you mention appendix attack because ironically just one week prior to my D's accident (she has been a very healthy child), we were in Boston at her final college audition and when we were getting ready to leave the city and head home on a Sunday night, she was bent over in pain to such a degree that she said she could not walk to the car and I waited and was not sure what to do, got her to a hotel lobby, had to get the car and have the concierge arrange for security to get her to my car and headed to an ER because I was not sure the seriousness and thought maybe appendix? and I had over a three hour drive to go in the country on a Sunday night and would not have been able to get much help. So, I spent hours in ER, turned out things checked out...and who would have ever imagined one week later I would be in the ER and much worse with her, having normally a very healthy kid. So, believe me, I have earned some grey hairs in all this too and feel for ya. I hope she is doing better and that you can talk to some Deans about her work. A local boy I know who goes to Brown, had the same thing that happened to your D, happen during a final exam and the Dean assured his parents that he could make up the rest of finals over the summer and not to worry. I hope your D's college is as accomodating, as they should be. And I also shudder when I read of the girl in your local news and her terrible loss because a week or so ago, I read a similar story here of a girl in this region and who knows why my child had luck on her side and had this outcome and these other precious children did not? Once I read of a senior in VT who died on the interstate and she was val, star athlete in the state, all states in music, the works, and her life had so many similarities to my older D and I just thought, why do we luck out and those poor poor parents. Makes me wanna cry.</p>

<p>Andi, I have read your posts and my heart goes out to you and your son and I am sorry I have not actively gotten engaged in it but you have gotten wonderful advice and support from others. I hope something positive results as you plan the next steps. Your son sounds very special and things eventually work out. </p>

<p>Berurah, I am just elated at all the good fortune that came your son's way....whoa, and to think of a few months ago...he is quite deserving and I can't wait to hear what you all decide...he can't go wrong. I am glad he perservered and his time came. I have to write you. My D wrote you and she loved the very thoughtful perfect gift you sent. Your girls are BEAUTIFUL...more later to you. </p>

<p>TXTaxiMom (have always loved your name), same with you...her card to you is sitting here and I will be writing you soon too. Her face lit up at your gift because she was like, "how does she know I love these products?" Another perfect thoughtful choice. </p>

<p>I owe letters to many of you and will get to them, soon, I hope!! </p>

<p>Treemom, I feel terrible but at the moment, I can't recall our meeting. Which session was it and were we in line for OTC and chatting? Not sure who your child is or if he/she was new or just what...refresh me if you can so I can have an AHA moment! Does your child know mine? I just can't remember the Brown connection either. But to answer your question, my freshman daughter LOVES Brown immensely in every respect. It has turned out to be a perfect match (maybe some place else would have been just as much but I just know this has worked out great). I just got off the phone with her and she sounded elated with her housing lottery outcome that just happened tonight. She really loves that place (and the kids). Is your younger one returning to SD? My D is still hoping to go first session, just three weeks this year. Most of her friends (all older than herself) won't be back but since she is just 16, she is going and has a few friends who are seventeen that are in her true grade (current juniors). My niece from Alaska is also going first session but for her first time! This time if you are there, we gotta meet and know we are CC brethren. </p>

<p>MomofThree....refresh me, is your son accepted to Brown or is he a junior? In any case, I am quite serious that if your son wants to connect with a current student, I would be happy to arrange it with my daughter. TwinMom's twins met up with her when they visited and my D is an enthusiastic "camper" and enjoys giving back to current prospective students, knowing how helpful others were to her in her college search/visits. Let me know if we can help. </p>

<p>So, this is way longer or more than you guys asked for but there you have it....trying to make up for lost time and again, to thank you ALL for being such great friends as it means a lot to me. Things are much less anxious now and it is just a matter of seeing her through the entire recovery period. Glad that is all we seem to be looking at now. </p>

<p>Susan</p>

<p>PS....as if what I wrote was not long enough....but just to say that even though my D is missing out on many performances that meant a lot to her in her final year at home....she is actually performing this Friday night, believe it or not, a month after being in Intensive Care and still not able to stand on two feet. But we have had tix to see Audra MacDonald in concert (if you don't know who she is, she is a multi Tony award winning actress/singer) and before the show, there is some pre show event for invited guests at which my D's voice teacher (who lives in VT but teaches half the week at a theater program in NYC) will be doing a presentation on singing/voice and my D is going to perform to demonstrate the belt voice. I think she should sit but she has some plan that she will sing standing on one foot...I guess where there is a will, there's a way but it is nice for her to have a little "something" to perform in. And we are waiting to hear if she can be in on the reception afterwards for Audra MacDonald, which would really be cool for her. So, she might not be dancing up a storm but she can sing and even if on pain meds and on one leg, she will be heard, lol.</p>

<p>My goodness! I am not a regular poster, and lately only a semi-regular reader so this is the first I've read of your daughters accident. I am so sorry - from the detail above of her recovery process, I can see it was severe. I am so happy that (a) her recovery, which will be ongoing, will be so complte (b) you have such a supportive group on CC (you have been quite supportive to so many), (c) she personally has so much support (d) that which makes her truly special and about which she is truly passionate is being rewarded in such a thrilling way as the Tisch program you describe above. </p>

<p>Best luck to her, to you, and here is to her exciting future - (and if I just interupted your continued post with mine, I apologize)</p>

<p>Susan,
thank-you for updating us. Your D has fans across the country that haven't even seen her perform yet!</p>

<p>Susan,
Thanks for the update. We've been wondering how she was doing, and if she was well enough for the trip to NYU. I'm glad to hear she was able to go, and WOW, the good news just keeps coming to her. Fantastic! She really sounds like an amazing girl, and you are an amazing mom, too!</p>

<p>Yay! All is going well in Soozieland. :)</p>

<p>I figured someone might like to help her keep those piggie toes in mint condition for her return to the stage! Or maybe you could switch off...a nice foot massage would be wonderful for you too, Susan. When she is thanking the academy, we'll all be listening for...and those crazy folks on CC.</p>

<p>Soozie: your daughter really does sound amazing. I am so happy that she is on the road to recovery - that is a lot of physical hurt for one kid to experience. I am impressed she could handle NYC! And that program at NYU sounds great. (I come from an NYU family, my mom went back to school at age 40 and got her bachelors from NYU, ultimately continued on and received her PhD on the same day that my sister received her law degree - both from NYU).</p>

<p>My daughter is slowly recovering - she told me yesterday that she's walking faster now! One of her biggest problems is that she sleeps in the top bunk of a bunk bed and has had to switch, obviously, with her roommate (who I don't think is too happy to be sleeping on the top bunk!). But she thinks in a few more nights she can climb again and she'll be back in her own bed. Most of her teachers have been amazingly compassionate and cooperative but she's feeling stressed about getting too far behind on work.</p>

<p>This has been one very rough year for her: mono in the first semester, my husband and I are having marital difficulties and we've instituted the first steps of letting our kids know what's going on (and she took it very poorly), the debacle of sorority rush and now emergency surgery. I'm impressed she's held up so well - I think she has an inner core of strength I didn't know she had. Thanks to all for all the good wishes and thoughts.</p>

<p>And soozie: keep us updated how your daughter is doing. I hope she loves NYU!</p>

<p>P.S. To Carolyn: LOL, no that wasn't me your friend knew about. Now, that would have been a small world!</p>

<p>Soozie:</p>

<p>Wow! But please tell your D to take good care of that leg!</p>

<p>Susan,</p>

<p>I am completely amazed at the speed of your D's recovery and particularly at her inexorable drive to perform! She really does have it in her blood, doesn't she? What a fabulous gift she possesses~and it's a gift she has shared and will continue to share with so many! I am so very happy that she was able to attend and and feel appreciated at her last high school performance. I know how poignant it must have been for her, but I'm sure she appreciated how thrilled everyone was to see her recovering from such a devastating accident. And I'm glad, too, that she was able to attend Tisch's special days--that glimpse of her exciting future will be so motivating, I'm sure.</p>

<p>You know the pic I sent you with my youngest D as Bielke? Well, the actor that played the tailor (the guy in the pic with her) has a girlfriend who graduated from Tisch (she was Hodel in the same show), and she's had so many incredible opportunities since her graduation, not only to perform, but also to help bring the arts to others as you talked about in your post. She has really enjoyed that.</p>

<p>That is just fantastic that your D will be able to attend and perform at the Audra McDonald concert!!! I hope that she gets to attend the special reception. My own girls were able to be part of a local Matt Bogart concert (if you are familiar with him--he's a VERY accomplished Broadway actor) when he came here to perform for an AIDS fundraiser (he had played Curly here in OKLAHOMA! that past summer). OH, they were THRILLED! He was quite gracious and kind, and we got some great pictures. He is gorgeous--one of the guys in the Jockey underwear ads that graced the Times Square billboards and the city's busses! <em>lol</em></p>

<p>One last thing....When I had my third baby, my older two kids were just 3 (almost 4) and 2. One of my friends from the place where my oldest took gymnastics brought my daughter a baby gift. I will always remember that gift and that woman because she did something very unusual. She begged me NOT to write her a thank you note! Now, I am a stalwart thank-you note writer...would NEVER dream of not sending one, but this woman, who also had several very young children made me PROMISE not to. She said that the freedom from the task of doing that was part of the gift. She said that my verbal thanks was more than adequate and that she did not give the gift in order to bring more to-do's upon me. In that same spirit, please consider me more than thanked for the small gift my girls sent your D. I honestly can't imagine being as innundated as you have been with correspondence and gifts, and for my part, I DO NOT WANT TO BRING ANY MORE WORK FOR YOU!!! The gift was from the heart to a very, very special gal with whom my girls can relate because of shared interests. That is all. :) Your daughter's enjoyment of it is ALL that I would want!</p>

<p>So, NO NOTES (from either your D OR you)!!</p>

<p>We'll "talk" later when you find yourself missing your girls and with more time on your hands, O.K.?</p>

<p>At any rate, please pass along our wishes for a continued recovery to your beautiful and determined daughter! love, ~berurah</p>

<p>fredo~</p>

<p>I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and your daughter as you have faced and continue to face so many challenges this year! I am amazed at your daughter's strength and resilience. She must be a very, very special young lady, not unlike her special mom! Things will get better soon...I just know it! Hang in there!</p>

<p>~berurah</p>

<p>Thanks for the lovely notes everyone.
Berurah, she already wrote you the note, I just have to address a bunch of these ;-). It is me who is behind with emails though. </p>

<p>Fredo....hugs to you and your daughter. I know she will recover fine from her surgery. However, I greatly admire her strength in light of adversity and challenges this year. She is obviously someone who is strong and will be better cause of all this. She truly deserves some positive times now and I hope there are some coming up once she ends the semester. Has she made housing plans for next year? I hope she has some friendship bonds beyond the girls who have chosen sororities for next year. I am sorry she has gone through so much and I also feel for you as well as her mom from afar, but also for your own well being during rough times. Try to do something for yourself because it sounds like you need it. I also hope some brighter days are ahead for you. Make sure you have support as well and come here as much as you need to for support from those who are not as close to your situation and can be there for you. </p>

<p>Susan</p>

<p>She said that the freedom from the task of doing that was part of the gift. </p>

<p>That is fabulous, Berurah! I am going to try and remember that because I love that sentiment. And thanks for the warm thoughts.</p>

<p>Soozie--wonderful update. Very happy for your D. The program at Tisch sounds like it was made for her.</p>

<p>Berurah, we have a Bielke in the family too right now too, LOL, in our jr. high production . . . </p>

<p>Fredo--best wishes for your D as she continues to heal as well!</p>

<p>Susan - you and your daughter are absolutely amazing! I am so glad to hear that everything is going so well. The NYU program sounds terrific and perfect for your daughter.</p>

<p>mstee~I wish OUR junior high would do such a cool play!! <em>lol</em> Tell your sweet Bielke to "break a leg, but not really!"...<em>lol</em> That's what I always tell my girls! ~berurah</p>

<p>Wow, Susan, what an opportunity for University Scholars!! Wow!! It sounds wonderful to be able to go to Vietnam or Brazil, Cuba, Ghana. Your daughter is amazing!!</p>

<p>Fredo, wishing your daughter a speedy recovery from surgery.</p>

<p>Berurah, I'm startin' to think that I should no longer tell my younger D to break a leg! Um, she took it too literally! </p>

<p>Besides, I have always had to remember which kid to say "break a leg" to before an event.....the one on stage...yeah....but the one in a ski race? No way....So, I have to pause and remember to either say, Go FAST or Break a Leg, depending on the kid/situation!</p>

<p>And so it goes with my younger one, she was going fast AND broke a leg......;-(
Susan</p>

<p>
[quote]
Besides, I have always had to remember which kid to say "break a leg" to before an event.....the one on stage...yeah....but the one in a ski race? No way....So, I have to pause and remember to either say, Go FAST or Break a Leg, depending on the kid/situation!

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Susan~I'm just rollin' here!!!!!!!!! Talk about opposite situations! I have never quite gotten used to saying "Break a leg!" It makes me squirm just a bit. So, I compromise with the "but not really!" At least it makes <em>me</em> feel a bit better!</p>

<p>Also, since your oldest daughter has been heavily into MT too, you have to think of WHICH activity the ONE D is in!! How is THAT for convoluted!? <em>lol</em> :)</p>

<p>Hope you can keep it all straight!! ~berurah</p>

<p>Susan: Thanks for updating all of us. So very glad to hear your daughter is on the mend and about her fabulous acceptance to Tisch. Wow.</p>

<p>Fredo: Also hope your daughter is on the way to recovery now. Thankfully, kids are resilient. Has she made a decision on her plan to transfer?</p>