<p>for whatever reasons, apparently a lot of my threads and posts have been deleted...i will not go into detail here openly but will try to only contribute in a positive way from here on out</p>
<p>bph11…</p>
<p>apparently even a thread i posted commenting on your essay was deleted…but like the shrewd man that i am.i saved it on a separate file, as i always keep my promises…so here it is</p>
<p>Is identity something people are born with or given, or is it something people create for themselves?</p>
<p>Identity is not just a name given at birth, but rather a legacy that one leaves behind. Characters from fiction like Equality-27521 and James Gatz portray the idea of identity as a whole. Likewise, Bill James, a janitor/avid fan of baseball, left a mark on baseball’s history from a position of no power. The identity of a person is in fact a choice, as you are not born with a legacy.</p>
<p>Identity is not just a name given at birth but rather a legacy that one leaves behind. Fictional characters, ranging from Equality-27521 in Anthem to James Gatz in The Great Gatsby, vividly portray the idea of identity, not as inherited gene but rather - to use a metaphor from baseball - a curveball, a strike, or a changeup, that one ultimately decides to throw to determine the course of one’s life and personality. The same principle can be applied in our own lives, as is evidenced (OH I GOT THIS ONE FROM A SAT SENTENCE REVISION QUESTION) by the life of Bill James, who from rose the gutters of janitorial work to create his own destiny as a successful baseball statistician. </p>
<p>INTRODUCTION BEGINS WITH A STRONG FORCEFUL IMPACT READY TO EXPLODE WITH GREAT IMPETUS BUT THEN WITHERS LIKE A FRAIL ERECTION. “IDENTITY AS A WHOLE”? – DOES THAT REALLY RELATE TO THE IDEA THAT ONE’S IDENTITY IS CREATED, NOT INNATE? GOTTA MAKE SMOOTHER TRANSITIONS LIKE GENERALIZING WITH FICTIONAL CHARACTERS AND THEN TYING THAT INTO OUR OWN LIVES WHILE ENSURING THAT YOUR STATEMENT CLEARLY UNDERSCORES YOUR THESIS. “LEFT A MARK ON BASEBALL’S HISTORY FROM A POSITION OF NO POWER…” DOES THAT REALLY IMPLY THAT HE CREATED HIS OWN IDENTITY, SO WHY NOT STATE IT DIRECTLY BY LINKING THE TWO SENTENCES TOGETHER AS I HAVE DONE ABOVE? </p>
<p>I’M TIRED…SO THAT’S IT FOR NOW, AND I GOTTA TAKE THE SAT TOMORROW…BUT I CAN SEE THAT YOU NEED BETTER LINKING TRANSITIONAL SENTENCES IN THE BODIES ALSO…SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS ADDING “IS ALSO A PARADIGM…”</p>