<p>I nominate Cal Poly SLO as the winner of rudest decision. Online status for those not admitted is only one sentence. "You have not been selected."</p>
<p>Are the shortest rejection letters really the rudest? Isn't finding closure
better than having lingering doubts about what happened? </p>
<p>Syrupy and mawkish letters only add to the pain of a rejection because they might intimate an injustice was committed by the adcoms. The statistics are all there for anyone to see: very low acceptances at the most selective schools. Adcoms HAVE to make hard choices but they do have the benefit of looking at the entire pool while we only see one individual case in a vacuum--unless one has twins or triplets. </p>
<p>Dwelling on the rejections does not help anyone; focusing on the opportunities that come at a more suitable school should erase the pain. </p>
<p>Look at the threads where people have described how well students fared at their second or third choices. As NewMassDad might say the sweetest revenge comes in the form of academic vindication.</p>
<p>PS This post is not an logical explanation but is a rant at the annual rants about "misguided" rejections and other claims of discrimination.</p>
<p>xiggi, I wasn't voting for syrupy or mawkish above. I have more or less repressed which letters offended me, and why, and which letters made me think "That is a good, honest letter." (Actually, I didn't care that much, and neither did my kids, but my wife would fume about them.) Some came across as snotty and judgmental, others as forthright and sensitive. All of them were perfectly clear about their finality. (I recognize, too, that the snotty and judgmental letters may well have been more honest than the others, but that's the kind of honesty one usually tries to suppress in public.)</p>
<p>Well, one letter actually said, "I'm sure you understand that there are many others more qualified than you."</p>
<p>Whereas another said, "College is what you make of it. We we saddened at having to reject so many worthy candidates."</p>
<p>Which would anyone want to get?</p>
<p>And my objection is as a writer and human, not a parent. Both my kids are at their first choice schools. However, there are ways of communicating that trashes vulnerable self-esteem and others that nurture it.</p>
<p>That said, I agree with you Xiggi about useless hand-wringing or anger.</p>
<p><<dwelling on="" the="" rejections="" does="" not="" help="" anyone;="" focusing="" opportunities="" that="" come="" at="" a="" more="" suitable="" school="" should="" erase="" pain.="">></dwelling></p>
<p>Judging by admissions decisions I've seen over the past few years, I see no reason to believe that the rejected applicant necessarily ends up at a "more suitable" school.</p>
<p>"Well, one letter actually said, "I'm sure you understand that there are many others more qualified than you."</p>
<p>Not nice at all. Was that the William & Mary?</p>
<p>Vassar. And then S applied and was accepted, but D was happy he didn't go.</p>
<p>W & M basically said, "Why the heck did you apply here anyway?"</p>
<p>Oh man, Mythmom, those are nasty things to say.</p>
<p>Did I tell you my daughter went to the conference at Barnard? She liked the school, liked the Barnard women more, and doesn't particularly like modern literature.</p>
<p>mythmom, we went to visit W & M last summer, and we were told that the admission rate for OOS girls is about 20% and possibly much lower for girls from LI. Still, there is no reason for rudeness. Why can't colleges just say that due to the overwhelming number of applicants, they are not able to offer admission at this time? </p>
<p>BTW, D loved W & M. Sad.</p>
<p>They get too close to their mirrors, failing to see the bigger picture. And they think academic or so called intellectual honesty explains and allows rudeness or spilling one's gut. There is no excuse for such aside from mediocre leadership that tolerates any of this type of attitude and consequent behavior.</p>
<p>In the end, while there may be a tendency to pass it off as one rude person, it speaks volumes about an organization in virtually every instance.</p>
<p>mythmom ... can you be specific in what Wm*Mary actually said vs. your spin on it, please?</p>
<p>"Well, one letter actually said, "I'm sure you understand that there are many others more qualified than you."</p>
<p>Well that's a stellar reply. I hope someone pointed out to the author that there are many 6th graders more qualified to write a rejection letter.</p>
<p>I love this thread..Hopefully it will get more active next week!! Keep it coming.....</p>
<p>I fully expect some rejection letters to come in the next few weeks for my daughter..I am curious to see how they will be worded.
She has already committed to the college she will attend, so there will not be any disappointment.
After reading some of the recent posts on various threads, I think she will get rejected from schools she didn't show much interest in, even if she has stats that would make her a match.</p>
<p>lje62 -- If your daughter has already committed to the school she'll attend, please consider withdrawing her application to the other schools on her list asap! This will enable them to offer the spot they would have given her to another student, and could prevent a lot of heartache in other households. Although she won't get to know the outcome of her particular applications, your daughter will be able to feel good about doing something that will have such a positive impact on others.</p>
<p>Well, W&M said something close to what I quoted. I threw it out. A friend has a son who applied and she called up (not knowing D was also rejected years ago) and said, "W&M has the rudest letter I have ever seen."</p>
<p>To be fair, I don't really think an inept letter writer reflects on the entire school. Yes, someone should be monitoring this, but I don't mean to demean the entire school.</p>
<p>Brown's letter: "Our loss is another's school's gain," was unbelievably nice. What it probably means is that they have a very good sensitive writer.</p>
<p>zoosermom: Great about Barnard. Yes, the people are utterly amazing.</p>
<p>Best acceptance letter (sorry, off topic) was UChicago. And S did NOT go there. So much for the influence of letters.</p>
<p>Northeastern had a very practical, no-nonsense acceptance letter. It was essentially, "congrats, we had a hard time picking you, now here's three paragraphs on how to enroll."</p>
<p>A few years ago I had the opportunity to see denial letters from Duke and UVA.</p>
<p>UVA essentially said We had too many qualified applicants, we made our decision, it is final, don't call us.</p>
<p>Duke said Our decision was difficult, we saw promise in all of our applicants, the school you choose will be enhanced by your presence.</p>
<p>Even rejections can be gracefully worded.</p>
<p>I have another one: Why did you send a personal email to my daughter singing the praises of her essay and claiming to be excited about her application, then waitlist her? That was just downright cruel.</p>
<p>je ne sais quoi: based on the thread for the school I think you are talking about, you are not the only one that happened to....I think that case deserves an explanation.......Unbelievable....</p>
<p>
[quote]
I have another one: Why did you send a personal email to my daughter singing the praises of her essay and claiming to be excited about her application, then waitlist her? That was just downright cruel.
[/quote]
Wow! That's really awful. Though surely it must have been cluelessness on their part. Once the deciding is done, I think you should let them know that this was not a nice thing to do.</p>