First I want to say while I rarely post, I come here to read and I appreciate the community so much. The binging TV post convinced me to give Schitt’s Creek a 2nd chance and it is the ONLY show I have watched twice in entirety. I used to be more active when my kids were home/looking for colleges/in college. It has been several years since they graduated but wow, was this place helpful when I needed help. Back when I was posting often, I had a different screen name and at some point lost access to that account so had to create a new one a few years ago.
Anyhow, about 8 years ago I posted on this forum about euthanizing our dog and got such wonderful, thoughtful and caring responses. Now I am back with a different story but similar sad circumstances.
We have a 7 1/2 yo dog that has IVDD (a degenerative disc disease) and she has had two spinal surgeries. One in Dec 2018 and one in March 2022. For many reasons, after the 2nd surgery, we agreed that if she became symptomatic again we would not have her go through surgery again. In August, she started having pain again, rear legs slipping and simply not herself. Sleeping up to 23 hours a day but eating and drinking normally. We have been doing the typical protocol of meds and rest and she is finally feeling better. Vet said to expect more flare ups and no way to know if they will be mild or catastrophic.
I feel we should euthanize her in the near future while she is feeling okay. Create a bucket list, shower her with love and end with euthanizing her at home. Today I sat down and did a realistic timeline and in the last 8 months (when she started the flare up that led to the 2nd surgery) she has had about 50% bad/horrible days and 35% okay days and 15% good. My husband was onboard last weekend and then starting on Tuesday she is getting a little better each day. Still not herself but better than a month ago. He is now adamant we wait.
My goal is to prevent any more suffering while he is afraid of robbing her of good days. She could wake up paralyzed tomorrow or she could remain symptom free for years. Since her first surgery, the longest she has gone without a flare up is 7 months. I can’t stand seeing her tiny body shake in agony. I understand his reluctance. I just feel I am letting her down. We have been married for over 30 years. We have talked through so many difficult issues. Not so much this time.
I think you should talk to your vet, who knows your dog in real life, and knows the disease.
I care for retired horses, so face animal end of life decisions more frequently than most.
People draw the line in different places, there is no one right answer that fits all.
Is your dog in pain now?if no, I’d wait. If yes, I’d strongly consider euthanizing. What are her peospects for improvement? These are the sorts of questions I’d be asking your vet.
I think you need to come to an agreement as to how much you want her to suffer for your own happiness and sentimentality. It sounds like you are on the same page about ensuring her a great quality of life so long as she can enjoy it, so do that. Pup cups every day! No need to rush the end.
But when she is suffering again, see how far you can get with meds and then, if she’s not comfortable, I’d call it quits. At a point, you have to own up to the fact that you are making her suffer for you and your time with her – not for the potential good days she might enjoy. If the pain is not fleeting, given the prognosis, it sounds like the kindest route is to give her a way out quickly when no relief is forthcoming.
I am so sorry you are in this bind. I have had to put animals (most frequently horses) down and each and every time, I have wanted to be sure that I am neither jumping the gun nor asking a creature to suffer unnecessarily. And that’s a pretty tough needle to thread with kindness. Hugs to you.
Just wanted to say that I’m sending cyber hugs. These decisions are agonizing. I have a senior dog that is starting to show signs of CHF. I don’t want him to suffer. When his quality of life alters, we will be having him euthanized at home. It’s so painful even thinking about it.
We had an appointment with our vet last Monday. We moved in January so she has not been our vet for very long. She basically said our choice is to go through the cycle of flare up/meds/rest on repeat. I am at the point now, I don’t want her to suffer another day. My husband thinks he can’t go through with the euthanizing unless she is currently in pain which to me is the opposite of how I feel. I want to prevent suffering. Her disc disease will never go away or get better but we have no idea when she will have another flare up.
Can she pee on her own or are you having to catheterize her and help her go to the bathroom? If so, that is not quality of life. Please do not consider a doggie “wheelchair” - they look cute to us humans but to dogs they can be torture.
(We chose to put down our wonderful dog when he was almost 13. He miraculously recovered after first surgery at the ripe age of 10 but we did not think he could do it again after the second bout of IVDD. So sorry you have to go through this. Hugs.)
I waited with our last dog until he was ready and the dog suffered at least a week longer than he should. He is in denial that the dog is not going to recover. He is in denial. Period.
Last October, after many months of illness and treatments, it came came time to decide about euthanizing our dog. She’d always been a trooper about her discomfort, but went downhill quickly, the light in her eyes dimming. I loved her but felt it was time to let her go. But she was very much idolized my husband, who walked her, fed her, medicated her, and watched tv with her. I was afraid he would want to keep trying, but he realized that was not fair to her. If he had resisted, I probably would have supported his decision his decision to wait, but his coming to the “right” conclusion made it easier on me. I wish you you well in arriving at such a difficult decision.
Thanks for your response. Many don’t know or understand IVDD, including my husband. He has blinders on. When we were waiting to talk with the vet last week, he lost it and had to go the car.
She can take care of all her potty needs as of today. I would never do wheels. I just know she is going to hurt again and I don’t know when. It might be mild pain and it may be paralysis. I would rather do it a month too early than a day too late. My husband disagrees.
Of course we can’t make this decision for both of you. As is natural, I wonder if both of you are reacting emotionally (of course!) - you are reacting emotionally to relieve pup of pain and probably can’t really appreciate the good days because you know a bad day is coming. Your H may be the opposite - reacting and focusing on the good days.
I agree with maybe getting a second opinion. And sitting down with your husband and having a calm talk about when/where would he cross the line to your thinking.
I just wonder if H needs a little more time. So very tough. For both of you. And your sweet pup.
My first pup was my brother. My folks got him when I was 4 years old. We grew up together, and I loved him beyond words. There simply was never a time when I was growing up and pretty much all the way through high school when he wasn’t there.
When I was a teenager, his back left leg stopped functioning. Our normal vet suggested we take him to the state vet school, but he also said our boy was quite old and might not survive treatment. Our pup persevered for another year, but lost the function in his last back right leg. For the last few weeks, I carried him in my arms everywhere to help him move, but he passed away.
My second pup was my daughter. She lived to a VERY ripe old age. When she was twelve, she nearly died, and our vet suggested again to take her to the state vet school. This time I was older, and I was happy to take her to the vet school. It was AMAZING what they did for her, and they put her on an underwater treadmill that helped her walk again. She lived another 5 years. One of our friends suggested that it was ridiculous to spend this kind of money on a dog, but I disregarded that. I am forever grateful to the vet school.
If finances allow it, please consider your local/state vet school. The students there will take wonderful care of your pup, and the cost is cheaper than you might think. At the very least, you will have tried everything possible.
For us, the vet school was a few hundred miles away. It was fine, as she was a part of me (and still is). I am not the kind of person that has unlimited money, but I found the vet school to be AMAZINGLY reasonable. If you can, please consider it.
I am so sorry, and I wish you, your family, and your pup, the very best.
Having worked in an animal hospital in my younger days, I can tell you it is extremely hard to put down an animal that is not obviously suffering at the time. My vet advised us to put down our last dog (bone cancer) almost at the time of diagnosis, in order to prevent a catastrophic and painful bone break for to the cancer. I wanted to x-ray every 2 weeks to see the progression and time it better, and she said “it will progress too fast”. Our dog was not on painkillers, had an appetite and enjoyed slow walks for about 3 months, then stopped eating and acted depressed, so we made the difficult decision. At the time of euthanasia the vet (different vet) remarked “he walks pretty well given the size of the tumor” and it haunted me for months, thinking we jumped the gun. He was the only pet (among 5 dogs, 2 horses, 5 cats) I felt we euthanized perhaps too early, and it was because we were so afraid of his leg breaking. He was a St. Bernard, so we couldn’t carry him either.
Been through this a few times and about to go through it with our current pup. Totally understand the agony. Two bits of advice:
A dog has no concept of the difference of “an extra bit of time.” Your pup isn’t like a human who just wishes for more time to live or understands that concept.
It’s better in our experience if that last day or two are “good days.” That means they aren’t suffering.
He lived a wonderful life with your family and had no concept of it being too early. He depended on you fully to make the decision you thought was best and you did.
One of our cats died at home “naturally.” She was old and diabetic; the kid called me saying the cat was not doing well. I was stuck at work and could not make it home in time to take her to the vet. I came home to find my little kid and her BFF crying over the dead body. The memory of that tragic event still haunts me. It was quite different from when Charlie peacefully fell asleep in my arms at the vet’s office. Of course I was heartbroken, but it was so comforting to know he was not suffering while taking his last breath.
