@mothere: With respect to hours of homework, I encourage you & your son to raise that question during revisit days. In the past, the junior year at SPS was regarded as the most difficult.
Just wanted to point out that if you have attention or executive function issues, it can take you 5-6 hours to complete two hours worth of homework…
I agree with @CaliMex that 2-3 hrs of homework can take a lot longer for a kid with ADHD, and @momof3nyc has lots of good advice— this part especially hit home for me: “The most important factor in succeeding in any environment with ADHD is your child’s ability to self-advocate. I can’t stress this enough: if your child cannot recognize when they need help and speak up for themselves, no amount of institutional support, relative ease of work, or inherent brilliance will help.”
My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD just before 9th grade and she was not open to advice on how to organize and plan. She was able to do pretty well in middle school but high school has been a really tough adjustment. There is some leeway on handing in assignments late at her current school but it varies by teacher, and she is currently overwhelmed and behind, and 2 of her midterm grades are awful (the other 3 are fine). She is actually in an academic support class and the teacher tries to get her to accept her help, but she’s still resisting and thinking she knows what to do. And intellectually she does know, and sometimes she can make it happen, but not consistently enough. I am really hoping she has an aha moment during Spring break and shows more willingness to accept help when she goes back next week.
I would stay ahead of the academic support for ADHD and disclose it to the school so you have things in place for the fall and he gets a good start. Ask at revisit day—the medication questions at the health center and the executive function/academic questions at the learning center or academic office.
Govs and Brooks are both terrific schools and have excellent academics and opportunities for internships and independent work and so much more. We visited/revisited both and loved them.
Thanks so much for excellent advice! I will do exactly that! I wanted so much to hear from others who had same challenge and appreciate the input.
His current school has greatly emphasized self advocacy and he is good at reaching out when he thinks he needs to do so. He is less good at recognizing 100% of times when this might be a help but has made tremendous strides.
I will do the legwork at the schools.
My kid is also at SPS (10th grade.) He is taking as many honors classes as he can and still doesn’t have more than 3 hours of homework in his worst weeks. However, he does not have the executive function issues discussed above so he is able to focus when he needs to.
My sons have gone to Hotchkiss (so can’t comment specifically on your schools). The key to success at a demanding boarding school, in my opinion, is TIME MANAGEMENT. My son with ADHD struggled; my other son, who is not as gifted, but doesn’t have ADHD, is flourishing, that is, is doing way better even though he is not quite as smart as his brother.
I would definitely want to know there was a learning center with tutors experienced with ADHD at the school.
Although I understand your son is brilliant, it sounds like executive functioning issues can get in the way. Academic support is not only for those that are struggling to learn material, but for those that need organization help, check ins, prioritization, and accountability.
I’d suggest revisit days, seeing where he really wants to go after he’s visited,and then figuring out how to support his EF needs within that environment. I’d strongly suggest a summer “boot camp” with an executive functioning coach if he is motivated to do so. None of the schools you have picked offer the kind of academic support he will need. Going in with the right skills to self-monitor will be crucial to him. Once he is hooked up with a coach, many can offer sessions through Skype.
@vwlizard - do you have any suggestions for a summer executive function boot camp or coach? Feel free to PM me! Thank you!!!
If your son struggles with executive function/time management, SPS is NOT the school for him. Period. There is no study hall or lights out. Outside of classroom attendance and mandatory “check” at night (time you have to be back in the dorm), there is no one structuring kids time unless you refer them to a mandatory study hall held the library - which is usually just for kids on academic probation. Like it or lump it, SPS is not just for smart kids, but for kids who can efficiently manage their own schedules.
Agree with @quonnie that SPS is best for students who can efficiently & effectively manage their schedules.
@quonnie That’s true of a number of the schools, not just SPS. The OP needs to decide if the trade-offs are worth it. We’ve seen a dip in my son’s grades, but he has been forced to manage his time (and life) in a way that has produced a lot of growth. Lots of pros and cons to either approach (lots of scaffolding/support versus a “sink or swim”)
As someone who is adhd herself and graduated with honors from Taft with zero support and who is also the mother of a child with ADHD who is a whiz kid in her own quirky way I want to push back on this idea that ADHD kids can not succeed at SPS or PEA etc. Practically ever 9th grader faces some challenges adjusting to boarding school and it sounds like this particular student has many strengths in addition to some executive function issues. If Bill Gates got into Harvard, then It’s a bit ridiculous to say that a child with ADHD can’t succed at SPS unless their SSAT is over 90% - don’t drink the Kool-Aid. That said, boredom is the kiss of death for many ADHD kids who hyper focus on what interests them (see Bill Gates above) but are hugely challenged by any task they find tedious. Boarding school can be a great fit for the right ADHD kid because they are highly structured and there is no time to be bored. That said homework hours were something we also looked at closesly for my daughter and personally I would chose the school that feels the most relaxed and happy at revisits since all your options are academically strong and also ask pointed questions about how advisors check in, can an advisor offer specific supports - a nughtly or weekly review/preview of big assignments etc? We also asked schools how they would handle various scenarios like a late assignment, a child who was overwhelmed by a big project etc and the answers were illuminating. Congrats to your son @mothere!
@chemmchimney :But wouldn’t it depend upon the particular student & the severity of the ADHD ?
@Publisher Isn’t choosing the best educational setting for any child about fit? About taking that child’s strengths, weaknesses, interests, passions, etc, into consideration, and then assessing each school’s ability to support and engage that child? I think what @chemmchimney means is that having ADHD should not be automatically disqualifying for these schools.
At a revisit, one of the admissions directors urged families to consider that what felt 100% comfortable on that day - when many of our kids were in 8th grade - may not be able to fit them for 4 years. He wanted families to account for the growth of adolescence, and choose a school that could challenge and support students through those changes. Our son loves his school, and although it has been a challenge - and I’ve put in a fair amount of time as his FaceTime executive function coach - he’s very happy. For our family, it would have felt wrong to cross this school off his list because he has ADHD.
As with almost every question that comes up, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Of course it comes down to what is the best fit for the kid. But the point that one should not automatically rule out (or add in) a school because of ADHD is a valid one, IMO.
In our case the child in question has mild ADHD, no accommodations and is weaning off the toddler dosage of medication he has used for 10 months because he does it want to have to go to health center out of concern that it would (equally in his mind) be a bother and stigmatizing. I am not sure whether his concerns are valid but they are his concerns. We will see how he does off of medication this spring.
Structure, exercise, sleep, accountability and the chunking of long term projects are the make or break scaffolding for him. I want him to ask for these, but if he does not, I want someone to look out for him and for him to have accountability early and often.
Some schools build this scaffolding into their programs. Others do not. The breakdown is not determined by prestige or selectivity but more by the school’s philosophy on how kids best learn to take responsibility for their time and learning. Some have scaffolding that everyone must use while many have it but you have to decide yourself to use it. There are good rationales for both approaches, but for many kids, one is a better fit.
As suggested. best to explore this at revisits to find the approach that’s best for your son.
One thing to consider with a very bright child with mild ADHD, and to talk about with them, is how they will deal with difficult concepts that will require a real stick-with-it-ness to master. Odds are that to this point, most things have come easily enough that they have been grasped within the attention span he has. A struggle to learn coupled with a struggle to concentrate can be hugely frustrating, and initially alien, for a really bright kid. This isn’t something that will dictate your school choice but is something you may want to raise with your son so that if/when it happens, he isn’t so freaked out about it that he can’t address it.
My son’s counselor who specializes in gifted kids with ADHD has basically told us that GADHD kids do what’s important to them. SO, the question is can your son view the entire experience as important so that he puts his focus into being successful, so will he hyperfocus on the small things he finds important and let everything else slide? We found counseling was important so that DS could see how important some of the less “important to him” tasks really were if he wanted to be successful in other areas. It was very short term and something we wanted to do before he made the final BS decision.
I recently had a conversation with the learning support person at Exeter, who mentioned that Ned Hallowell (adolescent psychiatrist who has written multiple books about ADHD, and is a big name in the field) had spoken at an all-school assembly, and then addressed the faculty in a separate meeting. These issues are definitely on the radar of these schools!