stanford short essay

<p>Hey i got this roommate essay for stanford. Is it good enough?</p>

<p>It was my senior prom night, the night that was supposed to be the best night. .The event was really successful in bringing out our high school memories, except my class hardly has one. Most of the classes were having a really good time, reminiscing, laughing in both joy and sorrow knowing that they would never see each other again in a very long time, except mine. My classmates have one BIG problem; they're too individual, showing no interest in socializing with people from other classes. Maybe it's because my class is the smartest, and they're like arrogant and mature. Even though there's a solid friendship between us, the friendship we have is TOO mature, unlike those high school friendships where we supposed to have lots of friend, hang out together, and do silly things that we can never do again after high school, because high school should be an unforgettable moment. When the other people were crying, taking photos together, hugging each other, my classmates were just standing still doing nothing but exchanging apathetic looks, because we don't know how it feels to part with the best friends, the best class we ever had. When I was going home with my best friend, he and I share the same opinion; "High school holds the best memory in our lives" just doesn't apply to my class. He and I envy the other classes, thinking how it would be if we went to a different class, but in a way we do respect our peers because they are always there when we need them.</p>

<p>May I know the exact topic of your essay? Because it seems like you are kinda going off topic if you got the prompt "write a letter to your room mate"</p>

<p>Is this your first draft? There are some grammar errors, run-on and forced sentences etc.</p>

<p>I think the idea is not bad but you must tell your room mate how you will and can correct this problem. it seems as if you are ranting about how smart people are too apathetic rather than convincing others how you will be a good room mate.</p>

<p>hope this helps! and good luck with stanford!! :)</p>

<p>you might want to post this on stanford board, but even better, ask people if they want to read it and then pm it to them, at least that's proper CC ettiquette...</p>

<p>i liked it before the last sentence...it kinda went to a tangent</p>

<p>thanks y'all for the feedback really appreciate it..</p>