<p>It is interesting that in this time period parents are willing, thrilled or tolerate their kids moving back home after college.</p>
<p>When I graduated college, I would have lived in my car before I had to move back home with my parents. No one I knew moved back home even if they were living on food stamps. </p>
<p>Perhaps is it partially because of the college debt student have to pay now. It is interesting how it is not unexpected these days.</p>
<p>insom, just because a child is living at home, doesn’t mean they’re not “fending for themselves”. You have no idea what the living situation is.</p>
<p>My D doesn’t want to live at home; she has already made that abundantly clear. How long to keep giving her money- such a hard question. We have a different set of circumstances. I have advanced cancer. I don’t know how long I can keep working, let alone help support her. At least she will get through undergrad with no loans.</p>
<p>Just a warning- you never know what will happen. A year ago, I never imagined in my wildest dreams I could get so sick so fast. You may have all sorts of ideas about your future, their future, and then s#%& happens. The goal now is to get her close to being able to support herself because she is going to need to do that a little sooner than most of her friends. Nevertheless, I don’t want to make her come home to take care of me- I want her to have her full life. That matters more to me than anything. (Sorry- I am a little buzzed- well-deserved glass of wine).</p>
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<p>What does fend for yourself mean to you? To me it means paying for rent, insurance, gas, water, utilities, etc.</p>
<p>And for all you know, they COULD be contributing to those same as if they were living with a roommate.</p>
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<p>I feel the same.</p>
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<p>This is why you shouldn’t take out more debt than you can handle.</p>
<p>I wish you and your daughter well tptshorty. I think if she wants to move home for a time to be close to you, you have just identified one of the best reasons a child should.</p>
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<p>A roommate in an apartment or house?</p>
<p>^ Why does it matter?</p>
<p>We would be thrilled to have our son back home if he wanted to be here. Currently, he’s visiting and we’re so happy about that. i am sure he will be self-supporting in the near future. He has great plans that are starting to become realities. in the meantime, we just love to have him home for a bit and-- extra credit–some of his college friends will arrive in the middle of the night. I will be asleep for this event, but will welcome them with all my heart in the morning. Or afternoon.</p>
<p>tptshorty: I’m very sorry to hear about your illness. I wish you and your D well. I wish there was more I could do.</p>
<p>I really don’t understand some of the ideas here. I am here on earth to reach out to others, all the more so my own children.</p>
<p>All I can say is that will be on their own as soon as possible.</p>
<p>It’s what we all want, but we’re not fetishistic about it.</p>
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<p>There is a big difference between living in a house with your parents and living in a apartment with a roommate.</p>
<p>^ If you’re sharing bills the same as you would with a roommate, like I said, then it wouldn’t matter.</p>
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<p>So you’re saying it costs the same to live in an apartment than in a house?</p>
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<p>I don’t either. I don’t understand it at all.</p>
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<p>What ideas are you talking about?</p>
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<p>Did I say that? No. Nothing of the sort. (OT: But depending on the area, it can cost far more to live in an apartment than a house. My ex just bought a house and he pays far less a month than I do. Wouldn’t ever want to live in that neighborhood though.)</p>
<p>Not that I’m sure what that has to do with the price of chickens in China… increased or decreased cost does not relate to fending for yourself. Given our previous interactions, I won’t engage in this line of questions any longer.</p>
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<p>Let me guess. He bought a house in Detroit? </p>
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<p>If you are independent, then that means you fend for yourself.</p>
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<p>No .</p>
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<p>Fending for yourself means paying your equal share (if living with parents or roommate) or paying the total bill if you’re living by yourself.</p>